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Old 07-04-2016, 09:09 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto, Ontario
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The mess after the meth...

After being in meth-free isolation for a long period, things have been much healthier, but also not quite as they were from a psychological standpoint and it's left me wanting to reach out and and see if theres anyone else out there going through the same thing.
I'm 35, living in Toronto. To give the broad strokes on my background, I went through a terrifying period of about two years, having the whole meth/sex thing as a main focus, off of work and living off my credit card. Miraculously I found a job that lifted me out of it and effectively saved my life. Filing for bankruptcy was obviously inevitable with not a penny to my name and over $25,000 in debt hanging over my head. That period ended almost 4 years ago and I am devoutly evasive towards anything having to do with meth.
But in getting out of it, I've also been very isolated, having divorced myself from anything having to do with the gay culture and sex, things that were very much defining properties in who I was prior to a during the whole ordeal. When it comes to having sex these days, it's pretty much non-existent because I have a series of huge mental blocks that are now in place which are preventing me (ie. major insecurities, trust issues with others, scared that what once was fun is now dangerous) which I'm sure are signs of post traumatic stress disorder as well as something I've seen a number of other people on here mention, reassessing my sexual preferences.
Anyways, I just wanted to put this heavy stuff thats been haunting me out there and see if anyone else is going through anything similar.
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N3p3nth3 (07-23-2016)
Old 07-04-2016, 04:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR Trouble - I know you'll find support here

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Old 07-13-2016, 07:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Trouble35
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Old 07-23-2016, 04:37 PM   #4 (permalink)

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My issue was with alcohol rather than meth, but I can definitely relate to how you're feeling around trust, insecurities, and alienation from the gay world. My regular life (work/non-gay-centric social life) is great, but I feel pretty much disconnected from other gay men. All I can say is that, for me, it's all about trying to focus my attention on gratitude for all the things that are going well.
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Old 07-24-2016, 09:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Sex after meth

I saw this yesterday and I knew I had to respond because I have been living through the same issues where my sex life (evolved) devolved around meth. The first two years that I was getting off Meth I had to quit sex as well. The two were so intertwined that I could do neither without the other. The hard truth is that sex with meth was so amazing and now, sex is at best, anticlimactic. Now after 4 years i contemplate if i have ruined my sex life forever. The other truth is; life with meth is no life. I've admitted to myself that to stay clean I had to reasses what role sex plays in my life. As a gay man who spent his 20s in the 70s it has been soul searching. I still hope that i meet someone who helps me bring the spark back into my sex life. Until then I choose life over meth and work on creating a life that isn't centered on sex. Facing the challenge with the truth is the only way i know how to deal with it.
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Old 08-02-2016, 04:50 PM   #6 (permalink)

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Meth was the last straw... I saw myself using it on occasion, and while I enjoyed the high, I knew the sex (another cheep thrill) was also part of the equation. I gave myself a few more times till I became hooked. Its scary!
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gay , meth , recovery

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