The mess after the meth...
After being in meth-free isolation for a long period, things have been much healthier, but also not quite as they were from a psychological standpoint and it's left me wanting to reach out and and see if theres anyone else out there going through the same thing.
I'm 35, living in Toronto. To give the broad strokes on my background, I went through a terrifying period of about two years, having the whole meth/sex thing as a main focus, off of work and living off my credit card. Miraculously I found a job that lifted me out of it and effectively saved my life. Filing for bankruptcy was obviously inevitable with not a penny to my name and over $25,000 in debt hanging over my head. That period ended almost 4 years ago and I am devoutly evasive towards anything having to do with meth.
But in getting out of it, I've also been very isolated, having divorced myself from anything having to do with the gay culture and sex, things that were very much defining properties in who I was prior to a during the whole ordeal. When it comes to having sex these days, it's pretty much non-existent because I have a series of huge mental blocks that are now in place which are preventing me (ie. major insecurities, trust issues with others, scared that what once was fun is now dangerous) which I'm sure are signs of post traumatic stress disorder as well as something I've seen a number of other people on here mention, reassessing my sexual preferences.
Anyways, I just wanted to put this heavy stuff thats been haunting me out there and see if anyone else is going through anything similar.