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Old 04-10-2013, 06:50 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Apr 2013
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recovering together?

i am fairly new to sr but im so glad i found it. and now so glad theres a GLBTQ section anyway my gf and i have been adicted to oxys for bout 3 yrs off and on but heavily the past year every since her mother passed. We are both trying hard to stay sober and made it five days when i first joined here. We sllipped on monday bc a girl we used to deal with called saying she had what she had owed us. Our first thought was we will get them and get rid of them for the money since we have broke our accounts. Well u know how that went. we ended up taking them . i was so disgusted yesterday but i knew i had to do better. And i am now on day two again.

My question is how hard is it to fight this addiction together? Especially since we ALWAYS used together. We would always do fun things together high. And it is very hard for us to tell each other no. This past week we did do great when we put our minds to getting sober. But I am scared we are just going to enable each other. I just cannot think about going through this without her. No one else knows about my addiction. We have kept it a secret. For now, until everyone finds out how financially broke we are.

Anyway hopefully u all might have some helpful adivce for me. Thank you and have a great evening
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Old 04-11-2013, 08:39 AM   #2 (permalink)

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I have only known one couple to get sober together, it is possible. Depends on how serious you both are and what lengths your willing to go to in order to get and stay sober. I definitely would suggest not trying to be each others sponsors and for both of you to get your own along with your own support in a 12 step program and take it seriously.
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Old 04-11-2013, 09:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
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I had destroyed my relationships before I found sobriety. But I did meet my partner early in my sobriety and we have been together 12 years now. Sober that whole time. She has two more years of sobriety than I do.

I do know that she has been a wonderful support in my recovery process. In fact she has been a vital part of my recovery. When I was less than a year sober and recovering from a major motor vehicle accident unable to leave my house because I was stuck in a wheelchair my partner paid someone to come take me to meetings each day while she was at work so I would not be home alone then when she got off work she would take me to meetings. There are things that she keeps separate from me such as we both have different sponsors but that has been a positive for us and helps us not to be as co dependent as we could be. There were also some books by Melanie Beattie about co dependency that we both read in early sobriety some were daily meditation type books that helped.

I guess if I were to make any suggestions it would be to not try to do this by yourselves but rather to find a recovery program. A recovery program will help support you both and in it you can develop a group of people who you can count on to be there when you need them. My partner and I use AA but there are other recovery programs out there. There is a good list in the alcoholism section of the forums at the top of it in the stickies. I guess the most important thing is never give up. Sobriety really is worth it especially if you are in a relationship. Sobriety can take the drama out of it which makes it run a lot smoother.
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
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