splendra

I have been a member here for many years. I have 5 very close loved ones with substance abuse issues. When one get clsean the other 4 will go off the rails. I have never seen all of them clean and sober in my whole life.
Every since my mother died in 2017 I have been taking care of my autistic nephew. He is so good and helps me a lot around the house.
His mother my, sister has been living on and off the streets for all this time. She recently got out of jail with a larceny charge with 30 months probation and a hefty fine attached to her sentence.I like a dumb @$$ went and picked her up from jail. I believed that she was going to work and pay her way but that is not what has happened of course.

I realize that my sister has mental and emotional issues and God knows I hope that some how she can get her life on track enough to where she can live on her own. She had a decent paying job that would come pick her up and take her back home each day. As soon as she got her tax return money she was off to the races. we just had another blow up and she said she wanted to go back to the street. She jumped out of my car at a stop sign and off she went. It is taking less and less time for to get tired of my micro-managing her. She threatens to commit suicide often when she doesn't get what she wants. I have had her "observed" many times when she brings up suicide and when she was in jail awaiting her trial she was put on suicide watch for a couple of weeks. I think it is highly likely that she will go to prison to serve her 30 months pretty soon.

I have to stop the yo-yo with her. I hate knowing she is on the street but I just can't keep doing this with her. I am praying she gets locked up pretty soon. Sh told me that the only reason she keeps calling me is because I am the only one who will go pick her up. My whole family knew that when m mom died that my sister who had been living off my mom her whole adult life would end up like this. It is painful as hell having a front row seat on this I think I am going to leave this theater and not go back to the same old movie again.
Thanks for reading this I hope someone can get some benefit from it. I look forward to reading your comments strength and hope.

suki44883

I remember you well, Splendra. I am so sorry about your sister. You are right, it is so hard having a front row seat to their drama and self-harm.

I am going to tell you something that Ann, a very wise and wonderful woman who was an SR member for about 20 years, said regarding her son who was and still is lost in addiction. She said that after years of trying to help him and fix what wasn't hers to fix, she finally got help for herself. She said that she now wakes up each morning and gives her son over to God, because He can do what she never could. We lost our dear Ann this past January, but she left us with so much wisdom, and after reading your post, her words came to me and I thought I'd share them with you.

God bless you for taking care of your nephew, and thank God he has you.

splendra

suki-
Thank you so much for your input. Oh Ann held my hand many times on this walk. Ann was always right about this stuff. I am just now finding out that she has passed so I am a little shocked at the moment May she RIP.

dandylion

Splendra......so many of us did love and take inspiration from Ann. She lives in so many of our hearts. I know that you must feel shocked and sad to be learning of it, just now.
I admire how much you show love and caring for your loved ones. Especially for your nephew.
Splendra-----it is absolutely the right thing to give some of that love to your self. also!!
You deserve it. You are entitled!

splendra

Thanks for the reminder to set aside some love for me. I need to get over my sister....

PeacefulWater12

I hope letting her go brings you the peace you richly deserve.

Morning Glory

I think of you often, splendra. It's good to see you.