Update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Update
Well to keep it short - she in county jail.
July 20 2021 arrested
Charges
Felony possession of cocaine (she went to womens state prison before I met her on cocaine charges)
Felony knowing possession of stolen goods
Felony burglary
Unpaid $10,000 cash bond so she sits in county jail.
Last I heard from her was January 2020 and things were very bad - crazy bad. I posted about it back then here on this forum. So things continue to get worse.
Its all online with the county including mug shot picture. She looked tan, had on lipstick, but her face is incredibly thin. Like addict thin. She doesnt even look like the person I once knew.
No I am not contacting or talking to her & No I am not helping her.
July 20 2021 arrested
Charges
Felony possession of cocaine (she went to womens state prison before I met her on cocaine charges)
Felony knowing possession of stolen goods
Felony burglary
Unpaid $10,000 cash bond so she sits in county jail.
Last I heard from her was January 2020 and things were very bad - crazy bad. I posted about it back then here on this forum. So things continue to get worse.
Its all online with the county including mug shot picture. She looked tan, had on lipstick, but her face is incredibly thin. Like addict thin. She doesnt even look like the person I once knew.
No I am not contacting or talking to her & No I am not helping her.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I will keep her in my prayers, Hardlessons, and leave the rest between her and God.
My son too is back in prison, his charges get bigger each time, and as sad as that makes me I am way past thinking that anything I do or don't do will change his choices or the outcome.
I am glad you opted to let the circus leave home without you. And I am happy you have moved on in your life.
My son too is back in prison, his charges get bigger each time, and as sad as that makes me I am way past thinking that anything I do or don't do will change his choices or the outcome.
I am glad you opted to let the circus leave home without you. And I am happy you have moved on in your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Hi Ann
I am sorry to hear that news concerning your son. But somehow maybe hes better off in prison. I dont know.
FYI I didnt post this update for my benefit. I posted it for those who read on here and wonder how these types of things go with an addict. In my case over the past 4 years its only gotten progressively worse for her.
Thank you for offering her your prayers. Maybe you would consider rather than praying for my addict, you would say a prayer for her daughter. I think she is 16 years old now.
I dont know who the daughter is living with now, but can only hope that she is still living with family since she was removed from her parents back in 2019 by CPS. Her father & mother are both addicts. Been on & off together since they were teens. Never married. Father gets arrested pretty much yearly mostly on drug related charges. His last arrest was February 2021. 9 felony counts - 3 of which were drug related. Since a teen he has spent many years in prison. Its a sad story, been going on for years & never changes.
My addict is an adult. She makes her choices in life. Her choices are hard core & arent for the faint of heart. For the most part, her & my life have been totally separate for the past 3 years or so. The circus obviously continues, however I am no longer a part of it.
Thank you for your kind words.
I am sorry to hear that news concerning your son. But somehow maybe hes better off in prison. I dont know.
FYI I didnt post this update for my benefit. I posted it for those who read on here and wonder how these types of things go with an addict. In my case over the past 4 years its only gotten progressively worse for her.
Thank you for offering her your prayers. Maybe you would consider rather than praying for my addict, you would say a prayer for her daughter. I think she is 16 years old now.
I dont know who the daughter is living with now, but can only hope that she is still living with family since she was removed from her parents back in 2019 by CPS. Her father & mother are both addicts. Been on & off together since they were teens. Never married. Father gets arrested pretty much yearly mostly on drug related charges. His last arrest was February 2021. 9 felony counts - 3 of which were drug related. Since a teen he has spent many years in prison. Its a sad story, been going on for years & never changes.
My addict is an adult. She makes her choices in life. Her choices are hard core & arent for the faint of heart. For the most part, her & my life have been totally separate for the past 3 years or so. The circus obviously continues, however I am no longer a part of it.
Thank you for your kind words.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I will pray for all who have been hurt by addiction and special prayers for her daughter. It's just sad how the children are the innocent victims in all this.
My son has two children by two different women. As far as I know (last heard) they were raised by decent, clean mothers. The son would be in his 20's now and I pray he doesn't take a bad path too. I don't see either one, that's another nasty part of addiction. Because I was close to my son, and because he could not be responsible in their raising, I too got on their "no contact" list.
It's a world I can no longer live in. But I can pray for those who remain affected.
My son has two children by two different women. As far as I know (last heard) they were raised by decent, clean mothers. The son would be in his 20's now and I pray he doesn't take a bad path too. I don't see either one, that's another nasty part of addiction. Because I was close to my son, and because he could not be responsible in their raising, I too got on their "no contact" list.
It's a world I can no longer live in. But I can pray for those who remain affected.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,684
Originally Posted by Ann 
I will pray for all who have been hurt by addiction and special prayers for her daughter. It's just sad how the children are the innocent victims in all this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 690
I'm so sad to read this. I remember your story and all you did for this woman and her young daughter. She squandered all your generous opportunities. Yes, it goes to show how relentless addiction can be. I hope you have found happiness because you deserve it. Thank you for sharing your story.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Ann & Anya thanks for your concern & prayers.
Bethany
Thank you for your kind words.
Yes its a sad story. To me her life is a very sad story. As far as I know, I dont think anything remains concerning what all I did for her. Its all gone.
I do think about her from time to time. Over the past several months, for some reason I had a feeling she was doing better. I didnt know anything, it was just a feeling. Turned out I was wrong - very wrong. I was more taken back by her mug shot picture than I was concerning her arrest details. If someone had just shown me that picture im honestly not sure I would have put her name to that face. Its not the face I once knew so well. BTW this wasnt the first mugshot picture of her online. There are others where she looks more normal.
Im years removed from her life. Im not involved in it at all. I am doing ok & thank you for asking.
Bethany
Thank you for your kind words.
Yes its a sad story. To me her life is a very sad story. As far as I know, I dont think anything remains concerning what all I did for her. Its all gone.
I do think about her from time to time. Over the past several months, for some reason I had a feeling she was doing better. I didnt know anything, it was just a feeling. Turned out I was wrong - very wrong. I was more taken back by her mug shot picture than I was concerning her arrest details. If someone had just shown me that picture im honestly not sure I would have put her name to that face. Its not the face I once knew so well. BTW this wasnt the first mugshot picture of her online. There are others where she looks more normal.
Im years removed from her life. Im not involved in it at all. I am doing ok & thank you for asking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 92
HardLessons,
I'm not surprised to hear she's back inside again. Jail/prison and drug addiction often go hand in hand. I have a feeling my ex fiancé will end up in exactly the same predicament. Only the almighty can save his poisoned soul and spirit now. They are just drowning in their own demons. I'm glad you're doing okay.
I'm not surprised to hear she's back inside again. Jail/prison and drug addiction often go hand in hand. I have a feeling my ex fiancé will end up in exactly the same predicament. Only the almighty can save his poisoned soul and spirit now. They are just drowning in their own demons. I'm glad you're doing okay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Hi Comewhatmay
Yes jail & drug addiction go hand and hand.
I just learned that her BF & father of the daughter was arrested again August 18 2021. Several charges two of which were possession of controlled dangerous substance (CDS). He is being held in the same county prison as her. This county puts all of their inmate records information online for public search.
As I said in my first post in this thread, he was arrested in February 2021 with multiple charges. The courts are backed up and I doubt he was sentenced yet for that arrest.
Yes they are just drowning in their own demons.
Yes jail & drug addiction go hand and hand.
I just learned that her BF & father of the daughter was arrested again August 18 2021. Several charges two of which were possession of controlled dangerous substance (CDS). He is being held in the same county prison as her. This county puts all of their inmate records information online for public search.
As I said in my first post in this thread, he was arrested in February 2021 with multiple charges. The courts are backed up and I doubt he was sentenced yet for that arrest.
Yes they are just drowning in their own demons.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 291
I would agree, it is a cycle with my son. He was released in May of this year, and it looks very likely that his parole will be recinded. He started using the same day he was released,, snd continues to do so.
Much Love
Bute x
Much Love
Bute x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 143
HardLessons, thank you for posting this because it reaffirms what I (still!) sometimes struggle with, which is that it usually keeps getting worse. Whenever I think or worry that I left him and then he got all better and became the BGitW (best guy in the world, something funny I heard in AlAnon) -- I need to remind myself that 95% of the time that is not going to happen. I do remember your story, as do the others, about how she squandered your lovely and generous opportunities. I also remember you speaking of her beautiful child. I particularly remember that because, as a woman without any children who sadly focused on her career too much for too long, I envy those with children and the thought of any child not getting what she needs from her mother breaks my heart. I hope you take some of that kindness and generosity and give it back to yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Bute - I read what you recently posted in your thread concerning your son. I have also read your previous posts. I am very sorry for your situation. I dont even know what to say other than im sorry & thanks for your kind words.
OKRunner
Yes well - The last I saw this daughter she was 12 in 7th grade. That was April 2017. A long time ago now. I remember that last time seeing her very well. She has contacted me here and there over the years. Shes a teen girl I have no ones permission so I dont contact her, She is a beautiful smart talented athletic kid. Im not just saying that - its true. She obviously didnt make out very well in the quality of parents department. Its mind blowing. Yes very heart breaking. If she was mine or even if I was just responsible for her - I would do anything for her. She deserves every chance to succeed in life. At this point I honestly dont know how she is doing or even where she is living. This kid has been through so much because of her parents - I cant even remember it all.
As far as the mother is concerned, I was a willing participant. I signed up and volunteered in a big way. But thats on me, I take responsibility for my part in all of it. For me its the past - not to be repeated. What she did with the opportunity I provided, well thats on her. Looking back & knowing what I know now - it was all doomed to fail from the start. I couldnt make it work even now.
I cant speak for all situations, but in my case - nothing has ever gotten better for her or her life. It has only gotten worse. Im not sure she would even admit that. She does love her addictions. Denial is extremely strong in her. I guarantee you that over the years she has partied her butt off. Crazy partying. Im sure there are lots of pictures online. They are just snap shots in time. Doesnt tell the real story or maybe it does - I dont know.
On a side note - I do read your various posts. I do see where youve come a long way in your own journey. I know how hard it is. I hope you continue to find peace & understanding.
OKRunner
Yes well - The last I saw this daughter she was 12 in 7th grade. That was April 2017. A long time ago now. I remember that last time seeing her very well. She has contacted me here and there over the years. Shes a teen girl I have no ones permission so I dont contact her, She is a beautiful smart talented athletic kid. Im not just saying that - its true. She obviously didnt make out very well in the quality of parents department. Its mind blowing. Yes very heart breaking. If she was mine or even if I was just responsible for her - I would do anything for her. She deserves every chance to succeed in life. At this point I honestly dont know how she is doing or even where she is living. This kid has been through so much because of her parents - I cant even remember it all.
As far as the mother is concerned, I was a willing participant. I signed up and volunteered in a big way. But thats on me, I take responsibility for my part in all of it. For me its the past - not to be repeated. What she did with the opportunity I provided, well thats on her. Looking back & knowing what I know now - it was all doomed to fail from the start. I couldnt make it work even now.
I cant speak for all situations, but in my case - nothing has ever gotten better for her or her life. It has only gotten worse. Im not sure she would even admit that. She does love her addictions. Denial is extremely strong in her. I guarantee you that over the years she has partied her butt off. Crazy partying. Im sure there are lots of pictures online. They are just snap shots in time. Doesnt tell the real story or maybe it does - I dont know.
On a side note - I do read your various posts. I do see where youve come a long way in your own journey. I know how hard it is. I hope you continue to find peace & understanding.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
So
As I said above she was arrested back in July 20 2021 on serious charges. Im not sure how or why but after being held in jail for several weeks she was released on September 7 2021.
She was recently arrested again on October 12 2021. Several more & serious charges including felony posession of a controlled dangerous substance. This time, she is being held no bail.
Her long term BF is still being held no bail since his arrest in mid August 2021.
Their daughter turned 17 on October 18. Both her parents were in county jail.
I know above from online public records. I have had no contact with any of them,
As I said above she was arrested back in July 20 2021 on serious charges. Im not sure how or why but after being held in jail for several weeks she was released on September 7 2021.
She was recently arrested again on October 12 2021. Several more & serious charges including felony posession of a controlled dangerous substance. This time, she is being held no bail.
Her long term BF is still being held no bail since his arrest in mid August 2021.
Their daughter turned 17 on October 18. Both her parents were in county jail.
I know above from online public records. I have had no contact with any of them,
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
