Progress Report
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
Progress Report
Hi, I have not been here in a while. I want to thank everyone who ever gave me an encouraging word or tough love.
Last week my son completed probation and is doing great. He's held down the same full time job for over a year and a half, with the exception of a brief covid shutdown. He's gained weight and looks terrific. He's getting his hair styled, bought stylish eyeglasses frames, cares about what he's wearing.... Doing the little things that we all do as self care, but which he didn't do for years. He tells us all the time how grateful he is that we stood by him and that he's able to live with us while he's saving to get his own place. Frankly with my husband and me getting older, it's nice to have someone young and strong around!
The "friend" of his who we allowed to live with us and who ended up stealing a book of my checks and helping himself to a spree and 20 felony indictments (in 2018) was apprehended in 2019 after fleeing the state and spent six months in jail awaiting resolution. He was accepted to drug court, and I attended sentencing (June 2019) where I told the judge that I was not looking for an apology. The only way he could show me (and frankly the Court, in my opinion) that he was serious about recovery and changing his ways was to embrace the lucky break he had been given of drug court probation rather than 4 years in prison-- and the way that I would consider that goal met is if he pays his restitution, which is also part of the 12 Step Program that's mandated by the Court. Well, such a shock, I receive payments sporadically and it's taken two years for him to pay $300. (He owes $3k.) If he doesn't step it up, I'm going to ask my attorney about my options.
I have actually been enjoying this summer and have two vacations planned in early autumn. (when my son was in active addiction I was always afraid to go away because I'd feel too afraid to get THAT phone call when I was away from home).
Anyway, I also wanted to thank whoever (and there were many) recommended the book CODEPENDENT NO MORE. I'd read it a couple of years ago and it helped me.
My niece who lives in another state is struggling with an alcoholic mother. I was happy to be able to send that book to her, and she's finding it helpful. (She's a young adult, living on her own, but the mother is intrusive, to say the least.) I was also thrilled that my son volunteered to talk to his cousin about addiction to explain what the mother was going through, why the daughter can't do a thing to "fix" this, etc.
I think about this group a lot. I am beyond grateful that, at least today, one day at a time, active addiction is not gripping my son and terrorizing all of our lives. I regularly pray for those who are struggling and for the families.
So THANK YOU to everyone who helped me to be stronger and wiser. I THINK that my son may have hit his own bottom and started to turn his life around after I became an avid follower of this group. When I stopped always saving him from himself and he understood that his consequences could be dire and made his own decision. I know he was tired of living like that. Sometimes the joy of having my son back is overwhelming and I cry. But they are good tears.
I wish the best for everyone. You're in my prayers.
Last week my son completed probation and is doing great. He's held down the same full time job for over a year and a half, with the exception of a brief covid shutdown. He's gained weight and looks terrific. He's getting his hair styled, bought stylish eyeglasses frames, cares about what he's wearing.... Doing the little things that we all do as self care, but which he didn't do for years. He tells us all the time how grateful he is that we stood by him and that he's able to live with us while he's saving to get his own place. Frankly with my husband and me getting older, it's nice to have someone young and strong around!
The "friend" of his who we allowed to live with us and who ended up stealing a book of my checks and helping himself to a spree and 20 felony indictments (in 2018) was apprehended in 2019 after fleeing the state and spent six months in jail awaiting resolution. He was accepted to drug court, and I attended sentencing (June 2019) where I told the judge that I was not looking for an apology. The only way he could show me (and frankly the Court, in my opinion) that he was serious about recovery and changing his ways was to embrace the lucky break he had been given of drug court probation rather than 4 years in prison-- and the way that I would consider that goal met is if he pays his restitution, which is also part of the 12 Step Program that's mandated by the Court. Well, such a shock, I receive payments sporadically and it's taken two years for him to pay $300. (He owes $3k.) If he doesn't step it up, I'm going to ask my attorney about my options.
I have actually been enjoying this summer and have two vacations planned in early autumn. (when my son was in active addiction I was always afraid to go away because I'd feel too afraid to get THAT phone call when I was away from home).
Anyway, I also wanted to thank whoever (and there were many) recommended the book CODEPENDENT NO MORE. I'd read it a couple of years ago and it helped me.
My niece who lives in another state is struggling with an alcoholic mother. I was happy to be able to send that book to her, and she's finding it helpful. (She's a young adult, living on her own, but the mother is intrusive, to say the least.) I was also thrilled that my son volunteered to talk to his cousin about addiction to explain what the mother was going through, why the daughter can't do a thing to "fix" this, etc.
I think about this group a lot. I am beyond grateful that, at least today, one day at a time, active addiction is not gripping my son and terrorizing all of our lives. I regularly pray for those who are struggling and for the families.
So THANK YOU to everyone who helped me to be stronger and wiser. I THINK that my son may have hit his own bottom and started to turn his life around after I became an avid follower of this group. When I stopped always saving him from himself and he understood that his consequences could be dire and made his own decision. I know he was tired of living like that. Sometimes the joy of having my son back is overwhelming and I cry. But they are good tears.
I wish the best for everyone. You're in my prayers.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Give your son a hug from the mamas here, it is so refreshing to hear good news.
Some make it to the better path and some don't. Your son must have wanted sobriety very much and I am glad he is helping you and your husband.
Stay in touch, your story is an inspiration.
Some make it to the better path and some don't. Your son must have wanted sobriety very much and I am glad he is helping you and your husband.
Stay in touch, your story is an inspiration.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 291
Wonderful news about your son. Shows recovery can be achieved, if it is wanted badly enough - not to take away from the effort and comittment your son has applied, to get to where he is. More power to his elbow! Enjoy every moment of "having your son back".
Much Love
Bute x
Much Love
Bute x
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