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comewhatmay 02-22-2021 07:56 PM

Confused about my partner's behavior in recovery
 
Hello everyone. My partner of three years is currently in recovery. Please note he has been a long term drug user all his life. He came out of rehab one week ago and moved straight into a sober living house, which was recommended by the rehab facility. We are currently in a long distance relationship, and I am unable to travel to see him due to covid-19 travel restrictions. I have noticed he has become distant. When I called yesterday, I got the vibe he didn't feel like talking. Is is not in my nature to pursue people when I can see they are not actively engaging with me, so I have not contacted him since. He can reach out to me if, and when, he wants to. I also notice recently his behavior on social media is somewhat strange. He is regularly posting odd selfies and philosophical quotes about life. I'm happy to leave him to it. I understand he is going through an emotional time. His recovery comes first. However, I do wonder what is going on with him on the emotional level. I welcome any feedback. Thank you.

Eddiebuckle 02-22-2021 08:08 PM


Originally Posted by comewhatmay (Post 7595932)
I do wonder what is going on with him on the emotional level.

At one week out of rehab, he's probably wondering too. Obviously, only he can say where his head is at right now but early recovery can be an emotional roller coaster for no reason at all. It will take several months to a year for his thinking and emotions to level out. You might want to send a text just to say the last call was awkward and you decided to give him a little space and to ask that he call or text when he is up to it. Most of all, know that whatever he is going through is not about you, it's about his survival. He needs to take care of first things first.

comewhatmay 02-22-2021 09:28 PM


Originally Posted by Eddiebuckle (Post 7595934)
At one week out of rehab, he's probably wondering too. Obviously, only he can say where his head is at right now but early recovery can be an emotional roller coaster for no reason at all. It will take several months to a year for his thinking and emotions to level out. You might want to send a text just to say the last call was awkward and you decided to give him a little space and to ask that he call or text when he is up to it. Most of all, know that whatever he is going through is not about you, it's about his survival. He needs to take care of first things first.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, thank you. I also notice he is adding girls to his social media and commenting on their posts. Many of them are also in recovery. His focus is elsewhere.

HardLessons 02-23-2021 08:47 AM

Life long & longer term drug user one week out of rehab

Being long distance away is probably a good thing. If you stay in this relationship id suggest you buy a helmet & flak jacket. Also do yourself a favor and dont look at any of his social media. Without a doubt he is going to be all over the place for probably a long time.

Please take care.

Ann 02-27-2021 09:02 AM

I agree, give this lots of time and space before you become emotionally attached to a man this early in recovery.

He may or may not stay clean and sober, only time will tell.

Keep yourself safe, make your life bigger than this relationship and rather than wait to see how he is or what he is doing, maybe take time to nurture yourself, find hobbies that you enjoy and keep your mind in a good place.

Good Luck.


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