Drug addict sister with a 10-year-old - I don't know what to do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2
Drug addict sister with a 10-year-old - I don't know what to do
Here's the story:
I'm a single guy in my 40's. My sister is 40 years old with a 10 year old daughter. They both live with me because sister is not a functioning adult and I don't want my niece living with shady people.
Sister has at the very least severe ADHD and cannot hold a regular job. She has no concept of time and is hours upon hours late to absolutely everything. She has prescriptions for ADHD medication and Suboxone and sells both for cash. I have to hide my prescription Valium or I will find it missing.
She is also a drug addict. I know she does meth and GHB for sure. She stays up all night and sleeps in the day (less than 6 hours). She is extremely promiscuous and sometimes sleeps with multiple men a week (when she doesn't have her daughter). She will drop her daughter off at friends on weekend nights, then "party" all night, and pick her up in the morning/afternoon.
I have reason to believe she does a little prostitution on the side as well. She is also a compulsive liar. She lies about EVERYTHING, and you cannot sit down and have an adult conversation about any of her problems - ever.
I have grown to hate my sister and would like nothing more than to have her gone from my life forever. However, I love my niece more than the world and want to keep her close and safe. Sister knows I will never kick her out, and uses this fact to break the rules I have set up. I've stated my home will NOT become a place for her men to come and go at night, yet she breaks this rule every so often (I have Ring). How do you punish an adult?
With all her faults, however, sister loves her daughter tremendously and I cannot say my niece is severely neglected nor not cared for. My niece's father is part of her life and has custody every other weekend and at least 1-2 weekdays a week. He has been told of my sister's problems in the past and does not seem to care. He only wants to be a part-time dad.
My niece adores her mother - ADORES! She is rapidly approaching the age where she will start to figure things out, and I am scared to death she will follow in her mother's footsteps. I also do not want her to lose her mother due to the somewhat dangerous lifestyle.
I feel like I have to take action, but I don't know what to do! Any advice would be appreciated.
I'm a single guy in my 40's. My sister is 40 years old with a 10 year old daughter. They both live with me because sister is not a functioning adult and I don't want my niece living with shady people.
Sister has at the very least severe ADHD and cannot hold a regular job. She has no concept of time and is hours upon hours late to absolutely everything. She has prescriptions for ADHD medication and Suboxone and sells both for cash. I have to hide my prescription Valium or I will find it missing.
She is also a drug addict. I know she does meth and GHB for sure. She stays up all night and sleeps in the day (less than 6 hours). She is extremely promiscuous and sometimes sleeps with multiple men a week (when she doesn't have her daughter). She will drop her daughter off at friends on weekend nights, then "party" all night, and pick her up in the morning/afternoon.
I have reason to believe she does a little prostitution on the side as well. She is also a compulsive liar. She lies about EVERYTHING, and you cannot sit down and have an adult conversation about any of her problems - ever.
I have grown to hate my sister and would like nothing more than to have her gone from my life forever. However, I love my niece more than the world and want to keep her close and safe. Sister knows I will never kick her out, and uses this fact to break the rules I have set up. I've stated my home will NOT become a place for her men to come and go at night, yet she breaks this rule every so often (I have Ring). How do you punish an adult?
With all her faults, however, sister loves her daughter tremendously and I cannot say my niece is severely neglected nor not cared for. My niece's father is part of her life and has custody every other weekend and at least 1-2 weekdays a week. He has been told of my sister's problems in the past and does not seem to care. He only wants to be a part-time dad.
My niece adores her mother - ADORES! She is rapidly approaching the age where she will start to figure things out, and I am scared to death she will follow in her mother's footsteps. I also do not want her to lose her mother due to the somewhat dangerous lifestyle.
I feel like I have to take action, but I don't know what to do! Any advice would be appreciated.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, questions. I am so sorry about your situation and my heart hurts for the little girl.
If it was just your sister here, I would suggest taking a giant step back and letting her find her own way. But when a child is involved, that child must have a voice and be protected.
As much as it may hurt to do so, please consider bringing in family services or child services to get help before it is too late.
There was a time when I had to report my son's behaviour (meth and people coming and going at all hours) to get help for his 2 year old (at the time) daughter. That meant me losing her and losing the right to know where she was (in a safe place with good people). Soon after, my son's wife who had 7 years clean prior to relapsing with my son, decided to clean up once and for all and after a year she got her daughter back.
We never know how things will unfold, but protecting a child is a responsibility that we cannot ignore.
I keep you, your sister and niece in my prayers. May something change to save that child.
Hugs
If it was just your sister here, I would suggest taking a giant step back and letting her find her own way. But when a child is involved, that child must have a voice and be protected.
As much as it may hurt to do so, please consider bringing in family services or child services to get help before it is too late.
There was a time when I had to report my son's behaviour (meth and people coming and going at all hours) to get help for his 2 year old (at the time) daughter. That meant me losing her and losing the right to know where she was (in a safe place with good people). Soon after, my son's wife who had 7 years clean prior to relapsing with my son, decided to clean up once and for all and after a year she got her daughter back.
We never know how things will unfold, but protecting a child is a responsibility that we cannot ignore.
I keep you, your sister and niece in my prayers. May something change to save that child.
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2
Thank you so much for your kind response. It really touched my heart. I really appreciate your prayers! They are needed.
I looked up the family services info for my state. However, I don't know if anything could be officially defined as child abuse yet. It's a shame that something serious has to happen before officials can step in.
I looked up the family services info for my state. However, I don't know if anything could be officially defined as child abuse yet. It's a shame that something serious has to happen before officials can step in.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
I read your story & its ugly. Please step back & look at this from a logical perspective. I understand she is your sister.
Prostitution
Prostitution & drug use go hand in hand
Is she seeing customers in your house when no one is home? It saves her from having to pay for a hotel.
Does she pay you rent? Even if its like $300 per month. She has no legit job. So your benefiting from the proceeds of prostitution
I recommend you look up Prostitution laws in your state. Pay close attention to promoting prostitution which is different than prostitution. If you are knowingly accepting money & providing a place for prostitution you could be charged with promoting prostitution which in my state is a felony.
Drugs
Your sister is a meth addict. Meth addicts are never known for making anything but reckless decisions
You can bet there are drugs in your house. Maybe stashed in a way which it wouldnt be easy for LE to determine whose drugs they are. If things went bad & it was a sizeable amount of Meth your home could be seized
Meth residue could be anywhere in your home. Your Niece could possibly test positive from it.
Innocent 10 year old Niece / Daughter
This young girl should be no where near this mother. This is a train wreck of a situation.
This young girl is at a very impressionable point in her life, She deserves a chance in life.
You could easily be proactive & talk to your local police & CPS. Maybe do it before one day they all just show up at your door. It wont be the first time that happened. Will be very ugly for all involved including your niece. .
I honestly debated if I was going to respond to your post. I decided to respond because I have a very soft spot in my heart for young daughters who get caught up in this madness from addict mothers or both parents.
Everything I mentioned above is real & is not fiction.
Save yourself & your 10 year old niece. When these types of situations go bad they can go very bad all of a sudden without warning.
Prostitution
Prostitution & drug use go hand in hand
Is she seeing customers in your house when no one is home? It saves her from having to pay for a hotel.
Does she pay you rent? Even if its like $300 per month. She has no legit job. So your benefiting from the proceeds of prostitution
I recommend you look up Prostitution laws in your state. Pay close attention to promoting prostitution which is different than prostitution. If you are knowingly accepting money & providing a place for prostitution you could be charged with promoting prostitution which in my state is a felony.
Drugs
Your sister is a meth addict. Meth addicts are never known for making anything but reckless decisions
You can bet there are drugs in your house. Maybe stashed in a way which it wouldnt be easy for LE to determine whose drugs they are. If things went bad & it was a sizeable amount of Meth your home could be seized
Meth residue could be anywhere in your home. Your Niece could possibly test positive from it.
Innocent 10 year old Niece / Daughter
This young girl should be no where near this mother. This is a train wreck of a situation.
This young girl is at a very impressionable point in her life, She deserves a chance in life.
You could easily be proactive & talk to your local police & CPS. Maybe do it before one day they all just show up at your door. It wont be the first time that happened. Will be very ugly for all involved including your niece. .
I honestly debated if I was going to respond to your post. I decided to respond because I have a very soft spot in my heart for young daughters who get caught up in this madness from addict mothers or both parents.
Everything I mentioned above is real & is not fiction.
Save yourself & your 10 year old niece. When these types of situations go bad they can go very bad all of a sudden without warning.
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