new2life

I come to you with sad news. My husband lost his battle and is now with the angels. It's been 4 years now and it still seems like yesterday. We were together from the ages of 12 and 13 till he was 46. I can't remember my old account and had to make a new one. I know this place helped me beyond belief during some of my darkest hours. I see a lot of new names and hoping this place is helping you too. Although I did ultimately leave him for 5 years we did get back together after he hit his rock bottom and was clean for 2 years. He relapsed and got a bad dose of heroin with fentynol in it. Now after all the struggles with him I'm facing addiction at every angle of my family. Nieces, nefews, sister, cousins, friends it's just soo sad. And I'm too old and tired to carry the torch anymore. I see so much enabling and I've been accused of being narsasistic and inhuman when trying to help loved ones to not enable. Watching all the lies and manipulation is beyond painful. I do not go to gatherings for the scene is no longer functional it's just sad. Hiding your purse, watching what personal info you say about yourself. Looking over your shoulder. Because I'm honest and went thru so much with my husband way before it became a trend to be high on meth, heroin, pills, I'm the outcast lol. Yea I'm the oddball cause I don't accept it to be normal. Anyway I'm here to maybe help those who want it from my own experiences of a lifetime of alcoholism my father n mother to my husband the "functional" addict I enabled for many years. I did become an alcoholic after I left my husband but it was short lived and I'm finally past that chapter in my life. I'm here to tell the tale and for anyone who may need a friend. Hopefully a shoulder to lean on in some way or another.

LumenandNyx

Hi,

Thanks for your post.

Ann

It's not normal, but it becomes "our" normal when we live with it over a long period of time. Finding a new normal, a healthy and happy way to live, is something that we can do to put our lives together again.

I am so sorry for all you have been through, and for the loss of your husband. Alcohol/addiction has been part of you life since childhood, I suspect. This may be a good time to reach out for some counseling for yourself, it may help repair the damage and help you heal.

Thank you for sharing your story here. Not all of our stories have happy endings, but no matter how it unfolds, it's important to take good care of ourselves and not get lost in the darkness that addiction brings.

You are in my prayers, may the healing begin.

Seren

Hello newlife, Welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I'm just so sorry to read about your loss!

I hate addiction. I hate it, and it runs in my family, too. How I've been spared from it myself, I don't know. But, I'll take what I can get. It is so sad to watch generation after generation of people self-destruct...and for what? A liquid? A powder? A rock? The devastation is, sometimes, difficult to take.

Please do stop by here any time to talk with us! We understand what you have been through, and you are always welcome

Dee74

I’m really sorry for your loss new2life.
It’s not easy to follow your own path when those around you are lost, but I hope that you can find some peace and purpose in the days ahead - I know you’ll find support here always,

D

greeteachday

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have come to a good place to both provide and receive support.

new2life

Thank you all so much for the support and kind words. I missed this place and plan to stay awhile. I am ggetting counseling thru my clinic and she's been wonderful. I know I need positivity and need to surround myself with healthy ppl right now. My story is like most of yours and I know I have your support here. Godspeed to you all and wishing everyone a goid day today.