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Old 01-21-2020, 05:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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My boyfriend is a binge drinker


Hello,

So here’s my story. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now and have been living together since pretty much the beginning. We are both 27. We’ve had a great relationship until a couple months ago when he started binge drinking on a regular basis and do cocaine (he used to do that and had stopped when we started dating).

Our relationship then started to go wrong - he started going out more often and drinking/using more. One weekend he went to New Orleans with a friend of his and I was really worried because this guy friend is also a big drinker/user and has a very open relationship with his wife. Well I was right to be worried because he ended up cheating on me with a random girl (who is a stripper) in his hotel room. They had tons of alcohol and cocaine until 7am and she ended up giving him a *******. When I found out I was devastated and still am affected by this (it happened in September 2019), but I stayed.

He did some serious improvement and stopped going out until this weekend. He started drinking like crazy and ended up doing cocaine again after inviting people over to our house until 6am, which I was against but had no power in reasoning him. He opened a drawer where we hide cash and he had cocaine hidden there (which I didn’t know and a couple weeks ago I found cocaine hidden in the powder room) Next day I wake up and 5,000$ is missing from a drawer and his iPhone is gone (probably some of the people that came over stole it) That just brought me back to the night where he cheated on me and I figured if I wouldn’t have been home that night he would’ve most likely cheated. I ended up talking to his family (excluding the cheating part) but really about his alcohol problem (binge drinking, he can spend the whole week not drinking but then gets black out drunk on weekend) because it has caused us too much harm in our relationship- cheating, stuff stolen from our house and not to forget verbal abuse.

I am confused on whether or not I should leave him for the cheating or its just really an alcohol/drug problem that needs to be resolved. After speaking to his family he promised he would stop. But how would I know now that this is a pattern every time he or we go out.

Please help!
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HardLessons (01-21-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 05:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Doudou

Please take some time to educate yourself concerning alcohol & cocaine addiction. There is a lot of info here on SR & the web in general.

For those non addicts in the relationship confusion is the norm. But there is clarity to be found.

You will find your answers. Whether or not they are the answers you want to hear is a different matter.

In my experience coke use with alcohol is common. Alcohol is a depressant while coke is a stimulant. Also, a sound moral compass typically doesn't go along with that drug use combination.

I hope you find your answers. Your young & have your entire life ahead of you. Trying to live with a drug addict is extremely difficult & can be very dangerous. But I am guessing from your post you already know this & that's why you are here on SR.

It all can be fun & games for a while until one day you wake up & its not that way any longer.
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trailmix (01-21-2020)
Old 01-21-2020, 01:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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They had tons of alcohol and cocaine until 7am and she ended up giving him a *******. When I found out I was devastated and still am affected by this (it happened in September 2019), but I stayed.

why? why was cheating ok? why was the rampant drug use ok? what is your low bar here on how you will allow a relationship partner to behave and still stick around?

this isn't about him. it's about what you are willing to accept from another person. not what you think future potential him might be like, but blowing thru booze and coke and other women and then saying sorry, like that fixes anything.
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