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Old 01-04-2020, 08:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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My addict son 32 years old is 3 months clean after being in and Out of using since 15. He’s in an Oxford house and his sponsor says he shouldn’t work two jobs because he can’t commit to his recovery. He can’t live in NAshville on $15 per hour with child support for one and I have adopted the oldest so no support from him on that. Is it typical for a sponsor to frown on. Working two jobs to support your self?
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Old 01-04-2020, 08:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It really depends what kind of sponsor he's got.

Some are all about meetings meetings meetings, 90 in 90 and that sort of thing.

Mine insisted on me working full time and probably would have backed 2 jobs if that is what was needed.

Difference was, him & I were focused on getting me through the steps, not on attending as many meetings as possible.
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Old 01-06-2020, 09:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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A lot of the problems I've experienced in the past few years were because I accepted legal advice from people who were not attorneys. I am assuming he is court ordered to pay child support. If he does not pay child support because he is going to meetings instead of working, how do you think that's going to play out? Do you think the judge will care one way or another what his sponsor has to say?

Personally, I think the busier he can be, the better. I do think it's a very good idea to go to as many meetings as possible, but not at the expense of following his court order.

But I'm glad to hear he's sober. That's excellent news. I hope you are making time to get help for yourself. Loving an addict (even one in recovery) can be very lonely and stressful.
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Old 01-06-2020, 10:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Sponsors are just flesh and blood like the rest of us and as such their advice is strictly their own and will vary from one to another. Along the same lines you will probably get a lot of opinions from flesh and blood people on what sponsors should or shouldn't do.

I generally try to stay away from giving advice and opinions, but instead will share a bit of my story and you can do what what you want with the info.

When I left a 28 day rehab, my counselor, who had been in the same industry (restaurant) as me suggested that I find another profession due to the constant presence of alcohol and the prevailing attitudes in the workplace from both workers and guests.

Being stubborn and an owner, I didn't take his advice and returned to my business and 70+ plus hour work weeks. It may not have been the easiest path, but I now have over 16 years of recovery.

I hope this helps you sort through your situation and questions. On a side note, I hope the best for you and your son. I have no regrets over the past 16 years as recovery has far exceeded my wildest imagination. Today I know peace and serenity.
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Old 01-06-2020, 04:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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When I left a 28 day rehab, my counselor, who had been in the same industry (restaurant) as me suggested that I find another profession due to the constant presence of alcohol and the prevailing attitudes in the workplace from both workers and guests.
plus the long hours would make it difficult to make the time commitment needed for of my recovery process of going to meetings, doing service work, etc.
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