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Old 12-03-2019, 08:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Brother's obsessed with kratom and marijuana


A little background:

Brother has always been way into pot. Got arrested in his teens, sent to juvi for dealing. Got arrested for dealing again as an adult, went to jail for 6 months (enhanced because he had unregistered guns).

Then he started a pot farm. He got a loan to get some property with his friend, but they had a falling out. He was going to go broke, so my parents bought him out. He started a new pot farm on his own. He sold to dispensaries and made quite a bit of money. He was able to pay my parents back all the money they lent them quite quickly.

All of this happened before weed was legalized in CA. Now itís legal, but heís still not operating legally. Heís selling to dispensaries without a license, and is growing massive amounts.

This thanksgiving my parents had 8 giant boxes from target on the porch. They told me theyíre jars for my brotherís ďbusinessĒ. Heís having them delivered to their house so the police donít catch on to what heís doing.

Now heís gotten into kratom as well. At thanksgiving he gave a huge speech about the benefits of kratom, and how heís created this amazing coffee drink that is going to take the world by storm. After drinking this tincture and smoking some mj, he wanted to drive my kids to play mini golf, and I had the audacity to say no. Boy, did that set him off- ďKratom and marijuana are LEGAL and ALL NATURAL and blah, blah, blah, Iím so stupid, I know nothing, Iím pro-FDA and part of the problem, blah blah.Ē

My dadís been helping me financially so I can get through nursing school. Iíve worked so hard and have an excellent GPA. The morning after thanksgiving I overheard my brother telling my dad he needs to stop ďenablingĒ me- that Iím a grown woman and need to find a way to provide for my kids without his help. This made me so angry, as just last year I was working 3 jobs and doing just that- but my dad told me he wanted to help me finish what I started and I am very grateful for that. Iíd much rather have his help for a few years than work dead-end jobs for the rest of my life.

I just canít wrap my brain around how my brother thinks. Sure, maybe my parents are ďenablingĒ me to go to college, but arenít they also enabling him to break the law? Which is worse? And why canít he just let me be? Iím trying to do whatís right for my kids. I just wish he would back off of me for once.
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Old 12-03-2019, 10:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Alcohol is legal, too, but you wouldn't let anyone drive your kids after drinking. He's just mad that you said no, and he's trying to get back at you through your dad. Unless your dad takes what your brother said to heart, I would just let it go. Your brother is just doing what any addict would when someone says no to them.

Keep doing right by yourself and your kids. Hopefully, your parents will see that they are not really helping your brother, and could possibly get into trouble if he is caught selling pot without a license.
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Old 12-03-2019, 10:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Ugh. I am so sorry you have to be exposed to that. I cannot imagine what a trigger this has to be, especially after all you have been through. Sending you big hugs!
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Old 12-03-2019, 10:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Im thinking will be seeing your brother on Live PD television show? Pot farm growing massive amounts of weed illegally. Yeah like maybe that wont draw any attention from the authorities.
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Old 12-03-2019, 04:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It's annoying at best. You know we have a saying in the F&F section about "quacking".

When an addict is talking like this it's just quacking, so just picture a duck quacking.

Might want to let your Mom and Dan in on that one too lol
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Old 12-03-2019, 04:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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your brother knows what he is doing.
your parents know what he is doing and are HELPING him out.
they are all fine with it.

you are not.
so what can you do that is not involve other people changing first and find some peace and distance?
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Old 12-03-2019, 05:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
your brother knows what he is doing.
your parents know what he is doing and are HELPING him out.
they are all fine with it.

you are not.
so what can you do that is not involve other people changing first and find some peace and distance?
I was wondering that myself, but it may not be as hard as I thought it would.

We had talked about going to the snow as a family, but just yesterday my mom told me that we might have to make separate trips (as in, my brother and his wife would go on a trip with my parents, and then me and the kids would go on one with them). I was pretty caught off guard, but said, "You know, I think that would probably be for the best." "Yup," my mom said, "I think your brother would say the same."

Honestly, it kind of hurt, because what have I ever done to him? I never lecture him. I stay out of his business (aside from asking him to not drive my kids while under the influence). But, whatever.

His wife is 5 months pregnant, too. What a mess that child is being brought into.
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Old 12-03-2019, 07:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
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or you could skip the snow trip? i mean that is an option. detaching from family outings - give yourself a break from the dysfunction?
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