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Old 11-08-2019, 09:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Feeling defeated...again


A few months ago, I took my daughter to the ER because she thought she was "dying, like for reals mom". She did have a UTI and they gave her antibiotics. She threw an absolute FIT during discharge because she has been blacklisted and they will no longer give her narcotics (they know she is a meth user because I TOLD THEM SO) anyway....I find out from my mom (her grandmother of course) that today she is taking my daughter to have teeth pulled......wth....seriously? They gave her a prescription for narcotics (for post-op pain) and it is more than 3 days worth. I know she didn't ask me to take her because I would have told them no drugs......I cannot believe she is going this far to get a fix and that my mom was not going to tell me that she was taking her. I am beyond frustrated but I am dealing with my AH in a state of rapid decline due to his disease and I just can't deal with her too (she does not live at home, is an "adult" and homeless)

I guess I just needed a place to set down this heavy load for a minute. I am exhausted from babysitting a dying alcoholic and now this.....
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Old 11-08-2019, 10:29 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Dear Sunflower,
What an awful situation. I just wanted to lend my support. Keep posting. You will get a lot of support from people who are dealing with similar situations.
I am a recovering alcoholic so I am on the other side. I know I put my loved ones through hell with my very poor choices and self absorption.
Stay close to friends and family that can support you as well as this site.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:32 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hang in there Sunflower. You have a lot of strength to have gotten this far. Keep venting and getting it out.
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Old 11-08-2019, 11:57 AM   #4 (permalink)
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That's a heavy load you are carrying and I am glad you brought it here. I hope you can find some peace and happiness for yourself amid the darkness of addiction that surrounds you.

Have you tried Al-anon for some support? Or just taking time to go out with some girlfriends for coffee or lunch? Taking care of you is the most important thing here, maybe just try finding a few hours every day that is all yours, to go for a walk or read a book or listen to music...anything that will help heal your spirit.

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Old 11-08-2019, 02:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Thank you all for your support and kind words. I have been coming to these boards for a bit (for support with my marriage mostly) and have not talked much about my daughter. For some reason it hurts me so much more to admit that she is an addict and alcoholic than to deal with my AH.
I have been to Alanon and a few open AA and NA meetings. I came from a family of addicts/alcoholics so this is not a new game for me. I have been a pawn in this for so so long. It is only recently that I learned that I can detach from them with love and heal my own soul.
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Old 11-08-2019, 09:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
the girl can't help it
 
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It is only recently that I learned that I can detach from them with love and heal my own soul.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much stuff. I know how it feels to be surrounded on all sides by addiction. I am glad you have to tool of detachment to help you along. Prayers going out for you and your loved ones.
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Old 11-09-2019, 10:28 AM   #7 (permalink)
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My SIL is a former addict, and when it comes to painkillers she INSISTS on not having any opiates whatsoever, even if the med team is willing to prescribe it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if your daughter tries to place the blame on your mom for "letting her" get access to narcotics, in the end, the only person she can really blame is herself. This doesn't give your mom a pass, because really she should know better. But at the end of the day, the buck stops with your daughter.

In regards to my SIL, what made her stop? One day she was sick and tired of lying to people, and that was pretty much it. If you tried to pin her down to one particular reason, she can't even explain it herself.
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Old 11-12-2019, 03:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Sending you lots of support!
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Old 11-12-2019, 03:35 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Never give up. I know you are struggling and are frustrated but I know you will make it through and your daughter will find hope and have a beautiful future if she wants it.
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