Amazing Grace
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
Amazing Grace
So my meth-addict niece who I had committed (mental illness/chemical dependency) last year about this time, is about 3 months pregnant and living in a group home.
She posted on facebook that she is back in relationship with the pathological liar/addict/mentally ill father.
Last year I really started letting go and letting God - he has provided her with food, shelter, government assistance, doctors, therapists, social workers.
I have not seen her for 6 weeks. I share a text from time to time, but I did a re-set on our relationship recently telling her I am not her mother, so I am not going to be either critical of her choices nor "nurturing" when she suffers the consequences of bad decisions.
So, what would have normally been a concern for me, today is simply a reaffirmation that I really must let go. She has everything she needs if she wants to start making good decisions. And she has plenty of rope to do the opposite. Her choice.
Thanks to the Grace of my HP, in the last 6 weeks I've been realizing what it is like to have a normal life. Normal problems, normal meals, normal interests - and it feels great. I am grateful for all the wonderful people who enter the professions that support her - it takes professionals! And it frees me to work on myself and my life. Things in proper perspective.
Thanks to all here at SR - you have been life savers and have been a big part of my healing.
Happy Independence Day
She posted on facebook that she is back in relationship with the pathological liar/addict/mentally ill father.
Last year I really started letting go and letting God - he has provided her with food, shelter, government assistance, doctors, therapists, social workers.
I have not seen her for 6 weeks. I share a text from time to time, but I did a re-set on our relationship recently telling her I am not her mother, so I am not going to be either critical of her choices nor "nurturing" when she suffers the consequences of bad decisions.
So, what would have normally been a concern for me, today is simply a reaffirmation that I really must let go. She has everything she needs if she wants to start making good decisions. And she has plenty of rope to do the opposite. Her choice.
Thanks to the Grace of my HP, in the last 6 weeks I've been realizing what it is like to have a normal life. Normal problems, normal meals, normal interests - and it feels great. I am grateful for all the wonderful people who enter the professions that support her - it takes professionals! And it frees me to work on myself and my life. Things in proper perspective.
Thanks to all here at SR - you have been life savers and have been a big part of my healing.
Happy Independence Day
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It is indeed liberating to let go and let God and the universe take over.
It took me years but today I can "smell" a codependent snag when I see/hear one. Nope, not taking the bait anymore.
We are older and wiser and maybe a little bruised and tossed from the journey, but when that lightbulb moment comes, we finally "get" that somethings in life are just not ours to control.
I will keep your niece in my prayers, that one day soon she also gets a lightbulb moment and realizes that she can make good choices and live a better life.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
It took me years but today I can "smell" a codependent snag when I see/hear one. Nope, not taking the bait anymore.
We are older and wiser and maybe a little bruised and tossed from the journey, but when that lightbulb moment comes, we finally "get" that somethings in life are just not ours to control.
I will keep your niece in my prayers, that one day soon she also gets a lightbulb moment and realizes that she can make good choices and live a better life.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
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