More bad news
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
More bad news
I am the secretary for our Nar-Anon home group and recently sent the e-mail below to our members as soon as the father's sponsor confirmed it was OK to "announce" their son's death:
Hello all,
I come bearing bad news.......again.
Harry and Julie lost their 24 year old son, Jack, to an overdose last Wednesday night; just 37 days after Bill and Dawn lost Billy to heroin.
Keep in mind that we are their second family and as such we should offer whatever help and support that we can during their time of grief. In some ways, we may know more about them, Harry especially, than their "real" family does. We may not know their last name but we know the depth of their love for Jack and the magnitude of their fears for him which have tragically come true.
The siren call of the dragon has won again; so young, so fragile...what a waste.
Keep coming back,
Jim
[CENTER]------------------------------------------------[CENTER][LEFT]
In less than 6 weeks, Polly and I have attended two funerals for children of members of our Nar-Anon group.
The first was Billy, son of Bill and Dawn, just 30 years old. He died in a local hospital after being taken there by friends. His parents discovered his whereabouts by tracking his cell phone. Dawn told me that when she saw where his phone was and that it was not moving, "I just knew........"
The second, Jack, whose funeral was yesterday, died at his parent's home. His parents, Harry and Julie, had gone on vacation to some out of town destination and were nervous about him being alone in the house with just his younger siblings.
Harry and Julie returned from vacation and found that "all was well" or so they thought. Jack had been recently involved in an automobile accident and was not allowed to drive until just a few days before his death. This made Harry very nervous as now Jack could get out to buy drugs if he wanted.
Harry normally attends Nar-Anon religiously and [I]always[I] hangs around for the "meeting-after-the -meeting". At the last meeting that he attended, he was visibly nervous and shared that Jack was home alone as Julie was out of town on a business trip. Harry bolted out of the door as soon as we ended with the Serenity Prayer; Harry went home and found Jack watching TV and he seemed fine. They watched TV together for a while and Harry went up to bed.
The next morning, Harry got up and saw that Jack's bedroom door was open but Jack was not in his room.
Harry went downstairs and found Jack unconscious on the couch in front of the TV with a syringe nearby; call 911; CPR; Naloxone. Paramedics arrived; more Naloxone; AED; other assorted drugs......it was
too late, Jack was gone. Just 24 years old.
The funeral was HUGE, 120 people seated with at least another 100 standing - the funeral home was overwhelmed, ran out of parking and we spilled over into the YMCA lot next door.
Eleven members of Harry and Julie's home group attended - almost half of our regularly attending members; that speaks well of the commitment of our fellowship.
Among those who attended were Bill and Dawn (parents of Billy mentioned above). I watched closely as Bill and Dawn offered their condolences to Harry and Julie - the still grieving "veterans" trying their very best to console the newcomers; it was one of the saddest things I have ever seen as they hugged each other, their tears mixed as they openly cried together. No parent should ever have to bury their child.
Dawn told me they had just received Billy's Death Certificate which listed "Fentanyl Intoxication" as the cause of death. I suspect that Jack's will read the same.
Addiction really sucks.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Hello all,
I come bearing bad news.......again.
Harry and Julie lost their 24 year old son, Jack, to an overdose last Wednesday night; just 37 days after Bill and Dawn lost Billy to heroin.
Keep in mind that we are their second family and as such we should offer whatever help and support that we can during their time of grief. In some ways, we may know more about them, Harry especially, than their "real" family does. We may not know their last name but we know the depth of their love for Jack and the magnitude of their fears for him which have tragically come true.
The siren call of the dragon has won again; so young, so fragile...what a waste.
Keep coming back,
Jim
[CENTER]------------------------------------------------[CENTER][LEFT]
In less than 6 weeks, Polly and I have attended two funerals for children of members of our Nar-Anon group.
The first was Billy, son of Bill and Dawn, just 30 years old. He died in a local hospital after being taken there by friends. His parents discovered his whereabouts by tracking his cell phone. Dawn told me that when she saw where his phone was and that it was not moving, "I just knew........"
The second, Jack, whose funeral was yesterday, died at his parent's home. His parents, Harry and Julie, had gone on vacation to some out of town destination and were nervous about him being alone in the house with just his younger siblings.
Harry and Julie returned from vacation and found that "all was well" or so they thought. Jack had been recently involved in an automobile accident and was not allowed to drive until just a few days before his death. This made Harry very nervous as now Jack could get out to buy drugs if he wanted.
Harry normally attends Nar-Anon religiously and [I]always[I] hangs around for the "meeting-after-the -meeting". At the last meeting that he attended, he was visibly nervous and shared that Jack was home alone as Julie was out of town on a business trip. Harry bolted out of the door as soon as we ended with the Serenity Prayer; Harry went home and found Jack watching TV and he seemed fine. They watched TV together for a while and Harry went up to bed.
The next morning, Harry got up and saw that Jack's bedroom door was open but Jack was not in his room.
Harry went downstairs and found Jack unconscious on the couch in front of the TV with a syringe nearby; call 911; CPR; Naloxone. Paramedics arrived; more Naloxone; AED; other assorted drugs......it was
too late, Jack was gone. Just 24 years old.
The funeral was HUGE, 120 people seated with at least another 100 standing - the funeral home was overwhelmed, ran out of parking and we spilled over into the YMCA lot next door.
Eleven members of Harry and Julie's home group attended - almost half of our regularly attending members; that speaks well of the commitment of our fellowship.
Among those who attended were Bill and Dawn (parents of Billy mentioned above). I watched closely as Bill and Dawn offered their condolences to Harry and Julie - the still grieving "veterans" trying their very best to console the newcomers; it was one of the saddest things I have ever seen as they hugged each other, their tears mixed as they openly cried together. No parent should ever have to bury their child.
Dawn told me they had just received Billy's Death Certificate which listed "Fentanyl Intoxication" as the cause of death. I suspect that Jack's will read the same.
Addiction really sucks.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Aw, Jim, my heart hurts for both these parents, it is any parent's worst nightmare and a fear I have faced myself many times.
My deepest prayers and sympathy goes out to Harry and Julie and to Bill and Dawn, that they can somehow find peace and healing and remember the goodness of their sons and leave the bad memories behind.
Bless you and your Al-anon group for showing support when it is needed the most.
I could repeat how much I hate addiction and how it steals our loved ones, but it's like standing in front of a train and hoping I can stop it in time. I don't know the answer to how this could all end, if I could rid the world of drugs I would. But the most powerful tool I have is still prayer and I pray that one day each one of our children will find a better path, and stay on it.
Thanks Jim, please tell your group and the sad parents that perhaps thousands here join you and them in prayers for peace and healing,
My deepest prayers and sympathy goes out to Harry and Julie and to Bill and Dawn, that they can somehow find peace and healing and remember the goodness of their sons and leave the bad memories behind.
Bless you and your Al-anon group for showing support when it is needed the most.
I could repeat how much I hate addiction and how it steals our loved ones, but it's like standing in front of a train and hoping I can stop it in time. I don't know the answer to how this could all end, if I could rid the world of drugs I would. But the most powerful tool I have is still prayer and I pray that one day each one of our children will find a better path, and stay on it.
Thanks Jim, please tell your group and the sad parents that perhaps thousands here join you and them in prayers for peace and healing,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
Jim, I'm heartbroken and so sad to read of yet another loss in your group. I remember too well the early days of my son's heroin addiction ... the near constant fear and panic, balancing on the edge thinking if I only said the right words, took the right actions, MY will could make my son whole and healthy. Then one day I stumbled upon SR and began learning what I could do to take care of myself and that nothing I did or didn't do would make my son clean. As Ann often says ... if love could save them, not one of us would be here.
Many prayers going out to your friends Harry and Julie on the loss of their beloved Jack and continued prayers to Bill and Dawn on the loss of their Billy. May they find some measure of peace and comfort in the dark days ahead.
Many prayers going out to your friends Harry and Julie on the loss of their beloved Jack and continued prayers to Bill and Dawn on the loss of their Billy. May they find some measure of peace and comfort in the dark days ahead.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Its heartbreaking to read this. I know that paralyzing fear and gut instinct when something isn't right and how very hard it is to know that there is nothing they could do to prevent this from happening. Sending prayers to the family and their loved ones. Thank you Jim for sharing. I know our prayers will make their way to the hearts of those who suffer.
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