Lynnjenn2

Good morning,


After a probably much needed sleep my husband and I had a small talk .instead of me trying to control the situation my taking actions "I" think need to be done. I did nothing. Peace be still. We talked or I pleaded my case of how actions add up to show words are true .and he hasn't taken his meds so his one and one are not adding up to 2 .he threw the phone down the gutter . No way to reach the. Drug dealer now without going back to the street. And he decided he's not going to pay him.

Today, I'm going to go to an Al Anon meeting it's at 12. He's tagging along with me now we are at the pharmacy filling a script im going to let him know I want to go alone to the neetime .

Toodles for now

AnvilheadII

a couple words of caution -

1) he's in the remorse period that follows a spinner. so any words of sorry and repentance aren't likely to last.

2) did you actually SEE him throw his phone into the gutter? actually SEE it go down into some sewer hole or whatever? phones can be replaced, and i can guarantee you he has his dealer's number memorized.

3) drug dealers do not just write off debt. they expect to be paid. the amount is not the issue here, 20 bucks, 200 or 2,000 are all the same.

while it's a hopeful sign that he's willing to get his prescription filled, it does not solve his crack addiction. nothing does. except never using any drugs ever again.

i don't mean to sound like Miss Doom and Gloom, but as a former crackhead myself, i know of whence i speak! take care, stay safe.

Lynnjenn2

You are right. If he wants to smoke crack .he can find a drug dealer anywhere .the meds help keep the mental issues controlled which help the compulsive behavior .

I saw the phone go into the gutter with my own two eyes .

I went to an Al anoA meeting today .kinda similar to AA meetings . It was ok.


I am being cautious .all my money is not near me and he doesn't think I have any .I have my keys .No extra set.

I will be cautious. I working on my self care. I stopped the bleeding of him smoking up the rent money.

I haven't decipher the next steps I'mma take .got a lot of thinking to about can I really be in a relationship that will experience relapse .

AnvilheadII

you mentioned in prior posts that he is violent with you.
that is abuse and it is NEVER acceptable. ever. there is no excuse.
you also said this has been going on for five years - at least.
what tends to happen to the non-using partner over time is the crazy becomes their new normal.

its not ok. what he is doing and what you are living with. crackheads get worse and more weird over time. the grip that crap gets on a person is unimaginable unless you've been there. the things you become willing to do. the things that you do.

make sure you have an exit plan. keep your purse and your phone nearby. make sure you have finances that he cannot get to. change your PINs and passwords. lock your phone. have the ability to leave at any time. call the police if he or anyone threatens you or commits violence upon you. it's NOT ok.

Lynnjenn2

Yeah, .it's hard to look back and see 5 years have went by. I have my things together .I don't feel threatened when he is sober.

I'm spending some time focusing on me.
​​How I going to move forward .

These everyday trauma change you .of course I'm speaking for myself. But .I'm just going with the detach and self care and we will see how God plan comes together .

Crack is the devil itself.

its crazy.

I'm safe, not bring threatened or verbally abused. He is in the house . Between his sponsor, his meetings, and calls I'm not having to really interact with him. Praying for strength, guidance, and his will.

#surender