Lost Mom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 2
Lost Mom
My son has been a heroin addict for 10 years now. He has lived with me through most of it. I have taken him back in after each Jail sentence because I want to believe it will get better but it never does. He makes no effort to change now at all. He has overdosed 4 times in the last two months. He has hep C and gets blood all over the house because his veins are shot and he makes it clear he could care less who he infects. I have asked him to leave but he has no where to go. The police told me they cant make him leave and they cant go into his room to find the drugs because it is room. He in jail on the weekends and I want him there full time at least he would have a warm bed and food and hopefully no drugs. I am going to talk to a lawyer about evicting him because I can live with this anymore. He is a bully when he is on heroin and threatens to end me if I get mad about his stealing or using. I just don't know what to do anymore has anyone else had to evict a child from their home? I makes me sick to think about him being on the streets but like I said I cant live like anymore.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Cellen, you're living in an abusive situation and getting legal advice is a great idea. Please also consider calling an agency that deals with domestic abuse. You don't have to be physically abused to qualify. He is threatening, refusing to leave when you ask him, bullying you and placing you in danger. A DV agency will be able to advise you how to stay safe while you are evicting him.
I'm disappointed the police aren't being more help, but it might be in the way you present the situation to them. This is where experts can help and advise.
Are there any family or friends who can give you moral support? Where is your son's father for instance. Maybe they've tried to help in the past but you've rejected them? Tell them you're ready now.
Stick around the forum, there are plenty of people who know what you're going through.
I'm disappointed the police aren't being more help, but it might be in the way you present the situation to them. This is where experts can help and advise.
Are there any family or friends who can give you moral support? Where is your son's father for instance. Maybe they've tried to help in the past but you've rejected them? Tell them you're ready now.
Stick around the forum, there are plenty of people who know what you're going through.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
I think if someone is threatening to “end you” that is more than abuse. Agree you need to be insistent with the police, but are you really ready to not give in?
Police also don’t want to be wasting their time if they think you are just going to cave with your son down the track. I don’t know what the laws are there, but here in Australia you can legally set up a restraining order that stipulates the person must not be within a certain distance of your house or do certain things. If they break it, there are serious consequences. Please find out what your rights are.
Police also don’t want to be wasting their time if they think you are just going to cave with your son down the track. I don’t know what the laws are there, but here in Australia you can legally set up a restraining order that stipulates the person must not be within a certain distance of your house or do certain things. If they break it, there are serious consequences. Please find out what your rights are.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am sorry you are going through all this. I too am the mother of an addict but never had trouble getting him to leave my home when asked (when he used, he was out...he knew that).
You definitely could use some legal advice, but perhaps contact an abuse advocate and maybe they can recommend a lawyer that specializes in this kind of situation. They may even provide one, if you cannot afford to pay. At the least they will give you some good advice.
Abuse...verbal, emotional, physical...is never okay. You don't have to live like this.
That said, once he is evicted or a restraining order is set up, you must not let him back in. If you do, it is all futile.
Something I repeat often here is that "We" are not the answer. "We" are not even a good solution to their problem. There are much better options out there...detox, rehabs (the Salvation Army Drug Rehabs are free), and meetings of AA, NA, CA, and other support groups who can help him get clean and stay clean...if he is willing.
I will keep you both in my prayers.
You definitely could use some legal advice, but perhaps contact an abuse advocate and maybe they can recommend a lawyer that specializes in this kind of situation. They may even provide one, if you cannot afford to pay. At the least they will give you some good advice.
Abuse...verbal, emotional, physical...is never okay. You don't have to live like this.
That said, once he is evicted or a restraining order is set up, you must not let him back in. If you do, it is all futile.
Something I repeat often here is that "We" are not the answer. "We" are not even a good solution to their problem. There are much better options out there...detox, rehabs (the Salvation Army Drug Rehabs are free), and meetings of AA, NA, CA, and other support groups who can help him get clean and stay clean...if he is willing.
I will keep you both in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Since he is a weekender inmate he must be on a probation order during the week. Look into that with the court and see if you can find out who his probation officer is. Once you find that out you can call them and explain the drug use, the treats and the fact you no longer can have him in your home for your own safety.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
If you call the police when he is high and making a threat to you, they most certainly can arrest him. It's good you are going to speak to an attorney b/c you will need to legally evict him. And...don't let him come back. Once he reestablishes residence (and it can happen quite easily), you would have to go through the process again.
I would not speak to the bottom base police officer. I would call and ask to speak to someone who is on a drug task force.
Big hugs.
I would not speak to the bottom base police officer. I would call and ask to speak to someone who is on a drug task force.
Big hugs.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
I think talking to the probation officer is a good idea. Using drugs violates probation. Maybe the PO can end the weekend jail (which I assume is some kind of a privilege?) and get him in there full time for violation of probation. Was he always weekend jail? Maybe if he had to be there full time he'd have a wake up call. (That's what happened with my son who is now in recovery for heroin.) Or, if your son was agreeable (which unfortunately it seems like he probably won't be) maybe the PO can help find him a rehab spot. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
