Yesterday
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
Yesterday
Yesterday my son went Christmas shopping! My mom told me that he called her while shopping (didn't tell me why, I assume he was asking her for gift guidance) and he told his grandma how happy he was to be gift shopping. He said that over the past few years he's either been just out of jail, going into or getting out of rehab, etc. But this year he's healthy, has a job, and can buy gifts for his family and that made him happy. Of course, him being healthy and having a job is all the "gift" any of us want or need!
Also yesterday, there was another letter from the highway authority, dunning me for toll violations caused by The House Guest From Hell. I have paid the actual tolls and have written to them at least a dozen times explaining that we were the victims of crimes by this individual and therefore we would appreciate their waiving the fines. I've never received a response to my letters sent, not even a phone call. I've looked this up online and it's very confusing to figure out exactly "who" is in charge of that bureaucratic nightmare. Sigh. I think I'll write to the governor's office and ask them to forward the letter to whoever has the authority to help me out in this matter.
The former house guest has missed several more court dates since I last checked in here, he's still wanted on a felony warrant for contempt for not showing up in superior court for his 20 count indictment ("my" crimes), and now he's got a bunch from local courts for unpaid fines or unattended court dates. I really want to put this SOB and all of his nonsense out of my mind and enjoy this Christmas with my family (especially the aforementioned son), but it's hard when every trip to the mailbox brings apprehension over whether there's going to be a payment demand for a fine, or a letter from the court saying "yep, he's still missing."
I'm really not a vindictive person. But in this one case, I really do fantasize about him being arrested on Christmas Eve and having to sit in jail through the holidays because the judges finally figure out that he's a flight risk and cannot be released pending trial.
Dare to dream!
Also yesterday, there was another letter from the highway authority, dunning me for toll violations caused by The House Guest From Hell. I have paid the actual tolls and have written to them at least a dozen times explaining that we were the victims of crimes by this individual and therefore we would appreciate their waiving the fines. I've never received a response to my letters sent, not even a phone call. I've looked this up online and it's very confusing to figure out exactly "who" is in charge of that bureaucratic nightmare. Sigh. I think I'll write to the governor's office and ask them to forward the letter to whoever has the authority to help me out in this matter.
The former house guest has missed several more court dates since I last checked in here, he's still wanted on a felony warrant for contempt for not showing up in superior court for his 20 count indictment ("my" crimes), and now he's got a bunch from local courts for unpaid fines or unattended court dates. I really want to put this SOB and all of his nonsense out of my mind and enjoy this Christmas with my family (especially the aforementioned son), but it's hard when every trip to the mailbox brings apprehension over whether there's going to be a payment demand for a fine, or a letter from the court saying "yep, he's still missing."
I'm really not a vindictive person. But in this one case, I really do fantasize about him being arrested on Christmas Eve and having to sit in jail through the holidays because the judges finally figure out that he's a flight risk and cannot be released pending trial.
Dare to dream!
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
Thank you.
The collections notices stopped. We received three total, for $150 which I can afford, but why should I be held responsible for this? I decided to take two weeks "off" and just set everything aside. Tomorrow I return to work, and on my lunch I'll draft a letter on Wednesday and print/mail it on Thursday.
The Houseguest from Hell did not end up arrested on Christmas Eve :-(
However someone who is his social media friend let me know that he updated his Instagram with a new photo and a declaration that he was "8 months clean" a few days before Christmas. I let it slide, but this past Friday I saw on his public info on Facebook that he updated the city where he lives! It's one state over. I flew to the phone and called our county sheriff's warrant squad only to find they are not working over the holiday (shaking my head) but the detective who answered the general line took the info and said she'll forward to the squad, I guess tomorrow. I also called the police dept of the city where he's allegedly living and gave them full physical description and told them that he's a thief and an addict so odds are it won't be too long before he manages to get arrested for something, and if so HOLD HIM because he has a 20-count indictment and a warrant for failure to appear. Then I emailed my victim advocate w/ the new information and she responded pretty quickly that she would inform the prosecutor.
Sheriff's dept is supposed to call me. Let's see how long that takes.
As I examine his new picture on Instagram, I realized that he must be living in a boarding house or sober living house or whatever -- and this will sound kind of nuts I know, but the ceiling in the room does not look like what you see in a house or an apartment -- it looks like an office, yet there are two twin beds in the room with mismatched linens. (Narcissist didn't notice all the clutter and crap in the photo I'm sure, just as long as he looks "pretty" it's a good photo to share w/ the world. LOL)
I created a (fake) Instagram account and we're now connected! I can see that he posted very little for months after he left my home and was in and out of jail and then on the run. He may actually be "clean" because he looks like he gained weight, and like I wrote, looks like the room in the photo may be a halfway house or whatever.
But it's mind boggling -- he has warrants from two different counties' superior courts in my state, plus warrants from several municipal courts, he's in violation of probation for not paying fines and for not keeping appointments (and now add moving out of state w/out permission)...
He's got all kinds of crap on Instagram about how he's devoted to NA, thanks to those who stuck with him through the bad times and the hell with those who turned backs on him,
My "favorite" - YOU KNOW MY NAME BUT NOT MY STORY. YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE, BUT NOT WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH
Runner up - "blah blah blah, here's to a fresh start and a new life"
Really? Being a fugitive does not mesh with the NA step work. What a con artist, still.
Looks like he's out there living his best life w/o a care in the world, not worried at all about his legal issues - while I continue struggling with sleep disruption, taking an anti-depressant, talking to a therapist about my anxiety, several thousand dollars down in property, and being hounded by a collections company.
So he had a pretty good 2018 - evading the law, doing whatever the hell he wanted to do without regard for consequences or for whose life he was putting through hell by his actions -- I hope 2019 it's MY TURN!!
PS, I know I sound crazy.
The collections notices stopped. We received three total, for $150 which I can afford, but why should I be held responsible for this? I decided to take two weeks "off" and just set everything aside. Tomorrow I return to work, and on my lunch I'll draft a letter on Wednesday and print/mail it on Thursday.
The Houseguest from Hell did not end up arrested on Christmas Eve :-(
However someone who is his social media friend let me know that he updated his Instagram with a new photo and a declaration that he was "8 months clean" a few days before Christmas. I let it slide, but this past Friday I saw on his public info on Facebook that he updated the city where he lives! It's one state over. I flew to the phone and called our county sheriff's warrant squad only to find they are not working over the holiday (shaking my head) but the detective who answered the general line took the info and said she'll forward to the squad, I guess tomorrow. I also called the police dept of the city where he's allegedly living and gave them full physical description and told them that he's a thief and an addict so odds are it won't be too long before he manages to get arrested for something, and if so HOLD HIM because he has a 20-count indictment and a warrant for failure to appear. Then I emailed my victim advocate w/ the new information and she responded pretty quickly that she would inform the prosecutor.
Sheriff's dept is supposed to call me. Let's see how long that takes.
As I examine his new picture on Instagram, I realized that he must be living in a boarding house or sober living house or whatever -- and this will sound kind of nuts I know, but the ceiling in the room does not look like what you see in a house or an apartment -- it looks like an office, yet there are two twin beds in the room with mismatched linens. (Narcissist didn't notice all the clutter and crap in the photo I'm sure, just as long as he looks "pretty" it's a good photo to share w/ the world. LOL)
I created a (fake) Instagram account and we're now connected! I can see that he posted very little for months after he left my home and was in and out of jail and then on the run. He may actually be "clean" because he looks like he gained weight, and like I wrote, looks like the room in the photo may be a halfway house or whatever.
But it's mind boggling -- he has warrants from two different counties' superior courts in my state, plus warrants from several municipal courts, he's in violation of probation for not paying fines and for not keeping appointments (and now add moving out of state w/out permission)...
He's got all kinds of crap on Instagram about how he's devoted to NA, thanks to those who stuck with him through the bad times and the hell with those who turned backs on him,
My "favorite" - YOU KNOW MY NAME BUT NOT MY STORY. YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE, BUT NOT WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH
Runner up - "blah blah blah, here's to a fresh start and a new life"
Really? Being a fugitive does not mesh with the NA step work. What a con artist, still.
Looks like he's out there living his best life w/o a care in the world, not worried at all about his legal issues - while I continue struggling with sleep disruption, taking an anti-depressant, talking to a therapist about my anxiety, several thousand dollars down in property, and being hounded by a collections company.
So he had a pretty good 2018 - evading the law, doing whatever the hell he wanted to do without regard for consequences or for whose life he was putting through hell by his actions -- I hope 2019 it's MY TURN!!
PS, I know I sound crazy.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,894
No. You do not sound crazy. I understand exactly how you feel. There is a somewhat similar situation going on in my family, and while I am not a vindictive person, I want that person to go to prison!
Like the guy in your story, this guy has gotten away with crap all his life because his parents are wealthy. This time, however, it involves my daughter and I am actually praying that he is found guilty at his trial on January 10, and sent to prison. He has been in and out of jail for years, but has never actually been in prison. He needs to be in prison!
So, I do understand how you are feeling. It just seems so unfair that there are people who so easily slip through the cracks of the justice system, when we know that if it were you or me, we would have been dealt with long ago!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that, at long last, both guys finally get what they deserve. ((HUGS))
Like the guy in your story, this guy has gotten away with crap all his life because his parents are wealthy. This time, however, it involves my daughter and I am actually praying that he is found guilty at his trial on January 10, and sent to prison. He has been in and out of jail for years, but has never actually been in prison. He needs to be in prison!
So, I do understand how you are feeling. It just seems so unfair that there are people who so easily slip through the cracks of the justice system, when we know that if it were you or me, we would have been dealt with long ago!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that, at long last, both guys finally get what they deserve. ((HUGS))
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 178
Hi, thanks. So now it's Thursday and I'm not shocked that no one from the Sheriff's office bothered to call me back. I just faxed a letter over to the sheriff himself, providing the same information, with a second copy going through the US Mail. I really don't know what to do anymore. I have provided them with good information on locating him throughout, and now with the city where he is, and no one seems to give a damn. I think I have this figured out, though, and forgive me if I've typed this on this message board before -- but -- the court system doesn't give a damn about me or this case because there's nothing in it for them -- if he's caught, he's going to get some custodial time, which costs money. They might order restitution, which will come to me (eventually). But they're not making anything on this. I find myself wishing that he was in possession of CDS when he was arrested because then they'd care because they could hit him with a hefty fine. That's all they care about. Thanks for the support and listening!!! :-)
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