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Found out my baby’s father was cheating on me? I’ve been by his side through all of his struggles,and even when he was arrested last week for trafficking meth and heroin,I was going to stick with him and get him the help he needed. BUT recently I discovered he had been cheating on me. Not with just one person,but multiple girls. Trying to go to their house,dirty pictures and telling one of them he loved them. All while I sat at home worried to death that he was dying somewhere from an overdose. I’m pregnant with his baby also. I’ve decided to cut things completely off with him,but I’m so angry and hurt that he didn’t give a crap about me. Its not like he even even told me he was done with me,he told me multiple times he loved me and when I told him if he’d like to separate,just tell me. It was always no,I wanna be with you,etc. Then had the nerve to ask if I’d stick with him while he was in jail. Ugh. Rant over. I’m just so upset with him ever since I found out. |
How do I delete?
Originally Posted by Michelle4110
(Post 7047158)
I’ve been by his side through all of his struggles,and even when he was arrested last week for trafficking meth and heroin,I was going to stick with him and get him the help he needed. BUT recently I discovered he had been cheating on me. Not with just one person,but multiple girls. Trying to go to their house,dirty pictures and telling one of them he loved them. All while I sat at home worried to death that he was dying somewhere from an overdose. I’m pregnant with his baby also. I’ve decided to cut things completely off with him,but I’m so angry and hurt that he didn’t give a crap about me. Its not like he even even told me he was done with me,he told me multiple times he loved me and when I told him if he’d like to separate,just tell me. It was always no,I wanna be with you,etc. Then had the nerve to ask if I’d stick with him while he was in jail. Ugh. Rant over. I’m just so upset with him ever since I found out. I tried deleting this rant but not sure how? Sorry guys,I know this probably isn’t appropriate. Just really upset with him. |
It's not inappropriate at all. He's the one that's off the rails, you have every right to be furious. I would be. This forum is kind of low-traffic, so people don't always respond right away. Drug users are also people users. I'm sorry for your pain, I think it's wise that you decided to break up - good for you. |
Well I think it's appropriate to share your feelings here, it's a safe place with people who understand. I am sorry you are going through this pain, and think it is very wise that you decided to cut ties completely. Doing so will hurt for a while, but you will heal with time. Staying will continue the pain, and quite frankly bring you even more. You now have a baby to consider and keeping this child in a healthy and safe environment is the most important decision of all. My prayers go out for both of you. It WILL get better over time, I promise. Please stay safe and keep your child as far from addiction as possible. Hugs |
it's interesting that his arrest for trafficking Meth and Heroin didn't phase you much, but finding out he cheated DID. this guy was never in the running for BF of the year, his drug problems were known, his illicit and illegal activities were known. those actions are enough to steer clear. NOW you can make a full clean forever break. NOW you can focus what is truly important....yourself and your baby. please take care and be well. |
Not true.
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
(Post 7047900)
it's interesting that his arrest for trafficking Meth and Heroin didn't phase you much, but finding out he cheated DID. this guy was never in the running for BF of the year, his drug problems were known, his illicit and illegal activities were known. those actions are enough to steer clear. NOW you can make a full clean forever break. NOW you can focus what is truly important....yourself and your baby. please take care and be well. Actudlly it did affect me a lot. No offense but you don’t even know me or what I’ve been through with this dude the past few months. But to me he is sick and needed help so I could understand more of why he got arrested than why he cheated on me. People get sick that doesn’t mean you abandon them completely. I already stopped letting him come to my house and such,wasn’t like I was enabling his drug activity or anything of the sort. |
actually i did take the time to read your backstory - drug use, paraphernalia in the home, disappearing acts, lying, stealing.......heroic attempt on your part to get him into rehab, where he lasted about a day........all in about 8 months? life with a committed drug addict who has no desire to quit. NOW you can be free of his insanity. NOW you can create a safe, peaceful life for yourself and your child. |
Michelle4110 Expecting an active addict or alcoholic to be reasonable and follow through is asking yourself to stop breathing by holding your breath. I hate to break the bad news, but none of us are God, nor another adults keeper(puppeteer). We were all given the ability of free thought. We must respect that. We don't need to be in that play either. I think what others have said was you have the ability to walk away, take care of yourself and most important your child. If he (an adult) wanted to be clean and sober, he would do the work. OR are you looking for some person/cause to save? If you read enough around here and around the web, you will find that trying to fix them actually makes them and you worse. Just maybe some of us have been there. AG |
I was going to stick with him and get him the help he needed This isn't your responsibility. It's his. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be for you to move on. You don't think you can do better than an addict who lies, cheats and puts you thru misery? I do. |
Always growing is right. Addicts and alcoholics don't want to be saved. They want to be enabled. |
Originally Posted by Michelle4110
(Post 7047158)
I’ve been by his side through all of his struggles,and even when he was arrested last week for trafficking meth and heroin,I was going to stick with him and get him the help he needed. BUT recently I discovered he had been cheating on me. Not with just one person,but multiple girls. Trying to go to their house,dirty pictures and telling one of them he loved them. All while I sat at home worried to death that he was dying somewhere from an overdose. I’m pregnant with his baby also. I’ve decided to cut things completely off with him,but I’m so angry and hurt that he didn’t give a crap about me. Its not like he even even told me he was done with me,he told me multiple times he loved me and when I told him if he’d like to separate,just tell me. It was always no,I wanna be with you,etc. Then had the nerve to ask if I’d stick with him while he was in jail. Ugh. Rant over. I’m just so upset with him ever since I found out. Welcome to the Board. I'll be brief in my remarks. His actions are not ones of a man who is committed to you. Nor are they ones of a man who is committed to the family unit. Full-stop. You've got every right to be angry. That said, don't allow your anger to cloud your judgment. Allow yourself to know what you know. He's an addict, he's unfaithful, and he's unable to be what you need him to be. Based on that, if you kicked him loose, you won't find anyone here at this corner of SR that'll challenge that decision. Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. |
Michelle4110, take this from someone who has been where you are now. My addict put me through hell when i was pregnant with his baby. From the lieing to the stealing and to the cheating. The hard truth that i had to come to terms with was that he IS an addict and addicts only care about one thing, their drugs. They are incapable of loving anyone else because They arent in the right state of mind and they dont love themselves. They will do anything it takes to get their fix and until the are ready for change, there wont be change. I get that cheating is more on a personal level, you trusted him with that one thing and he took it for granted but, and im sorry to say this, thats what addicts do. Trust and addicts dont fit together. My daughter is now two and i had to cut it off before things got bad FOR HER. The love i have for my daughter is greater than the love i have for his well being. I cant change or fix him but i can sure as hell tear us down trying. A very wise person told me i had to make a decision, do I stay and live life wondering if/when he will relapse(and lie or cheat) or do i save myself and my daughter from the pain and agony the addiction brings. He has recently relapsed after a year and a half. My daughter is 2 and knows that daddy is missing. I would much rather have him out of our lives completely than in and out of hers. Yes, i still love him, but know when it’s time to let go. I wanted to share a piece of my experience with you because i feel like i was in your place 2 years ago. I understand it hurts but you do whats best for you and your baby. In the end, your #1 focus is that precious human being. God bless you and I wish you the best of luck! |
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