No sex drive ad libido
 

Hi,

I posted this thread in the Men’s room as I was unaware of the rules. Had it shifted to newcomers where someone suggested that I post it here...

My boyfriend (40 years old) quit drinking 1 year back, marijuana 6 months back and cigarettes 4 months back. The last time we had any kind of sexual intimacy was about 7 months back. (Before that I got pregnant, had an abortion and had a false pregnancy scare) I was wondering if his lack of interest in sex is related to his quitting addictions and how long this is likely to last or is it something else? I want to be there for him and give him time and space to figure it out but the lack of intimacy is driving me nuts (he cuddles me and sleeps but will flinch if I kiss him or try and make any sexual overtures). Is there anything I can do to make him interested in sex again or do I just need to give time and how much?
I have suggested therapy to him but he doesn’t seem keen to go. He is doing this on his own without any outside support.
I love him very much and want to be with him but don’t understand what’s going on and am at my wits end.

I turned into a raging horndog when I stopped drinking. I never liked weed, so that I don't have any experience.

I’m 42 given everything up vice wise.
My sex drive has gone down.
Mostly due to having a kid,
Partly due to giving up the booze.
I find it not worth the pent up sexual frustration of waiting to have sex at a certain point in the day/night. So I try not to entertain any fantasies that pop in to my head.
Just takes me down a road of resentment which isn’t good for alcoholics.

I’m still trying to fix the sex part of our relationship, but it gets me down. Not the same as it used to be. Maybe it’s an age thing, maybe there’s been one too many rejections. Maybe it’s just all in my head.

Just my experience

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Thank you guys for your replies and for sharing your experiences. MindfulMan you are a lucky guy you didnt have to go thru this. Snowydelrico I hope it gets better for you soon.