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Prayed for Clarity

Old 08-14-2018, 09:06 PM
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Prayed for Clarity

So I did (pray for clarity)

And this afternoon my addicted niece shows up delusional - she is seeing dead people (my husband's mother, her dad), she's been out walking all night, she is manic and incoherent.

I didn't know if its drugs or a mental breakdown so I call the mobile psych unit. They show up, she talks to them. After we are done, one of the social workers pulls me aside.. Tells me - I think she is on something (drugs) and she has some personality issues (probably borderline). thank you Higher Power - clarity. It's both.

The social worker indicated that she could see how she lied, manipulated, and dismissed me whenever I brought up the truth that was inconvenient. I will say these folks are professionals - they are able to get to the bottom of things in such a nice way and they seem to see right through even the most well designed lies.

they did not take her to the hospital because she "presents well". The social worker said that it may come to the point that it gets so bad that she can't hold up that facade and when that day comes, call them and they can hospitalize her. In the meantime, evidently she's coherent enough to find a shelter if she needs one. They gave her information and if she calls in the next 24 hours they'd even send a cab to take her to a shelter.

The social worker further said that my best course of action was to stand quite firm on the boundaries we set (I showed her the list of 8 items) and not budge - and keep calling the mobile unit every time she shows up to "build the file".

so - we tell our addict, you can stay the night if you follow our rules (cell phone locked up overnight, no internet overnight, lights out at 10:00 p.m., up at 8:00 a.m. no friends over) and if you don't like those rules, you need to stay somewhere else.. she chose the latter peppered with the usual insults and threats.

So she calls up a friend and out the door she goes. Oh, and while she was here, she asked for a beer after claiming she is pregnant but doesn't know whose it is - but has been trying to reach the guy she likes best to get him to take her in. Evidently there are three candidates.

So - this is the clarity I received[LIST][*]She is doing drugs again[*]She has no problem lying to me, to social workers or anyone in order to manipulate things to her will[*]She is competent enough to find alternatives if she wants them[*]If she stays on the road she is on, she won't be competent forever - and when she really crashes, if I am around, I can get her to a hospital. [*]She still has people she can crash with - so its still not bad enough

My HP seems to answer my prayers very quickly and I am proud of myself for sticking to my boundaries.

So tonight again I sleep in a peaceful house.
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Old 08-15-2018, 08:42 AM
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I am glad you got the reinforcement to stick with your boundaries. It's so hard to watch someone you love go down the drain due to their own poor choices. However, enabling them only makes it worse.

Big hugs to you!
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Old 08-15-2018, 02:22 PM
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Sometimes we get our answers quickly and you saw, with clarity, that this has to be her choice. You were fair and gave her a chance, and frankly I am glad she did not make false promises and cause one more night of chaos.

I will keep her in my prayers, with my son and all our loved ones here who are struggling on their path of addiction...may they realize that the path to recovery is the only road back.

Hugs from my heart to yours.
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Old 08-16-2018, 04:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Troubledone View Post
So I did (pray for clarity)

My HP seems to answer my prayers very quickly and I am proud of myself for sticking to my boundaries.

So tonight again I sleep in a peaceful house.

That is powerful. Keep up with the focus, hoping for peace for you.


Crisis intervention mobile you talked about - sounds like they were helpful for you. In the past, local crisis intervention teamwork helped support son, husband and me; truly would not have made it through without their presence and efforts.
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