Hechosedrugs

It feels good to be back.

I've been hanging around a free legal advice forum, trying to figure out what to do about ex's latest move. He's filed contempt of court against me over something the kids said I said about him. He's offering a recording of the conversation as proof. In California it is illegal to record phone calls unless all parties consent. Our children surely did not know they were being recorded and did not consent. But he does what he wants.

I just wanted some answers on how to approach the situation. I can't afford an attorney. I've been told I'll be appointed one, but I haven't heard too many good things about public defenders. It seems their hands are way too full to really dedicate a lot of time to each case. And with my ex, the way he lies- oh, man, is it ever hard to keep up.

So anyway, I'm trying to read up, learn my rights, figure out what to do. I get on this free legal advice forum and get nothing but flack. Just a bunch of self-righteous judgment. Out of the 20+ responses, only one was an actual attorney, and she was from Ohio, which is a one-party consent state (totally different recording laws), and didn't seem to understand why I would be bothered by my ex recording the children's conversations nightly, coaching them and basically making my life a living hell to the point where I would hide in my room with a pillow over my head so I wouldn't have to hear it at all. And I thought, man, SR really is a special place. I think it just might be the only forum I've frequented online where people are genuinely trying to seek understanding from each other, rather than every single thread devolving into name-calling and snark.

So thank you all. I'm still going through the trenches with my narcissistic AXH. But it's good to know I'm not alone.

tyou

Helianthus

Hi Hechosedrugs

I'm really sorry to hear about what he is trying to do, he sounds lovely...not!

I agree about how lovely the forums are here, I'm on a very popular health and fitness site and the forums there are brutal.

Thanks SR peeps

Seren

You aren't alone. I'm so sorry you have to endure this. I have no similar experience to offer, but hope very much you will at least hear from the PD soon!! I may not know much about the law, but I think you have to actually be IN court to be in contempt of said court.

Try to breathe, try to be vigilant about anything you say around your precious little ones...hopefully, someday, your stbx will watch what he says, too--but I wouldn't count on it, sadly.

Hang in there! We are walking with you! We have the SR Superwoman cape and security blanket just back from the cleaners...we'll send those along for you to have when you are in court!

hopeful4

Oh friend. This wears me out hearing it, so I cannot even imagine how you must be feeling.

It seems to me if what he has done is not admissible, it should be pretty easy to represent yourself in this one. I also know however nothing has been easy in your case. Ugh.

I can only say I support you. I think you are an amazing Mom. I am so blessed to have gotten to know you, and I am so glad you are a part of SR.

HUGE HUGS.

atalose

I’m not a lawyer but I’m guessing with the family courts filled with serious neglect and physical abuse allegation that a he said they said case isn’t a top priority with stiff penalty’s. Besides the evidence he has without everyone consenting is a crime in itself. Give him enough rope, let him hang himself.

Freedom1990

Fortunately I was never party to any legal issues once EXAH and I divorced.

Sending you hugs of support from Kansas!

GreenChair

If there is a law school near you, maybe u can find a student who can assist you?

Troubledone

I have a niece whose X files a contempt of court suit every time she complains of his contempt of court. It is a game.

A different niece has been represented by appointed attorneys and while they aren't always Perry Mason, they at least know the procedure so you don't annoy the judge by doing things outside the procedural rules. In my observation the appointed attorneys did a much better job than the hot shot she hired once. But that is just one case.

I live in Minnesota and there are women's shelters that have attorneys that do probono work, so possibly there are some similar places where you live. Contacting local shelters or the Children's services might also be another avenue (if you haven't already tried that)

If you can't get satisfaction, at least an appointed attorney is someone to explain the procedure and your rights.

Praying to get a fair hearing.