Need some clarity
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 22
Need some clarity
I’ve been separated fully from my ex addict partner for a few months. We have a 10 month old baby.
He is a heroin addict on a methadone program but uses every drug under the sun and is usual on vallium at least every day.
He went through a period of staying clean for 2 weeks at a time prior to our split and when I caught him using drugs again I threw him out for good.
He has put me through hell over the years. Physically assaulted me when I caught him stealing my bank card, left me with nothing during my pregnancy high as a kite on Xanax. High when I gave birth to our boy. Broken every promise and then some ever made stolen lied blah blah you know the drill.
Anyway he has 2 older kids to his ex who he sees at his mothers house. Ex and mother have no issue with him being wasted or sitting foaming at the mouth under the influence in front of them.
I find this beyond disgusting and abusive and I have told social services but they haven’t seemed to do anything. He keeps coming to my door demanding access to my baby.
I refuse this. He is not to be trusted with him and I never know if he is clean or willl use when he is looking after him.
I don’t want my baby missing out on a relationship with his Dad but at the same time I don’t believe his dad has anything to offer or can be trusted. This scares me. I’m scared for the future and I’m scared the impact this will have on my baby.
I want more than anything for him to never contact me again. I’m usually a calm over forgiving person but tonight he contacted me on a new social media account. I have blocked his others and phone etc.
He told me he wants to see my son and that even though it didn’t work out with us I shouldn’t make my son suffer. His photos are of him with his other kids playing and it has made me feel so mad that he swore and promised he would never ever treat our baby like this and I feel so irrational and angry.
As if all the years of wrong doings have all surfaced tonight and I’m so stupid for ever believing him. For allowing him to treat me like he has and to bring my boy into this mess.
The guilt is huge.
How do I deal with my feelings of hatred and anger towards him. I don’t want to feel this way I hate it. But I hate him right now.
He is a heroin addict on a methadone program but uses every drug under the sun and is usual on vallium at least every day.
He went through a period of staying clean for 2 weeks at a time prior to our split and when I caught him using drugs again I threw him out for good.
He has put me through hell over the years. Physically assaulted me when I caught him stealing my bank card, left me with nothing during my pregnancy high as a kite on Xanax. High when I gave birth to our boy. Broken every promise and then some ever made stolen lied blah blah you know the drill.
Anyway he has 2 older kids to his ex who he sees at his mothers house. Ex and mother have no issue with him being wasted or sitting foaming at the mouth under the influence in front of them.
I find this beyond disgusting and abusive and I have told social services but they haven’t seemed to do anything. He keeps coming to my door demanding access to my baby.
I refuse this. He is not to be trusted with him and I never know if he is clean or willl use when he is looking after him.
I don’t want my baby missing out on a relationship with his Dad but at the same time I don’t believe his dad has anything to offer or can be trusted. This scares me. I’m scared for the future and I’m scared the impact this will have on my baby.
I want more than anything for him to never contact me again. I’m usually a calm over forgiving person but tonight he contacted me on a new social media account. I have blocked his others and phone etc.
He told me he wants to see my son and that even though it didn’t work out with us I shouldn’t make my son suffer. His photos are of him with his other kids playing and it has made me feel so mad that he swore and promised he would never ever treat our baby like this and I feel so irrational and angry.
As if all the years of wrong doings have all surfaced tonight and I’m so stupid for ever believing him. For allowing him to treat me like he has and to bring my boy into this mess.
The guilt is huge.
How do I deal with my feelings of hatred and anger towards him. I don’t want to feel this way I hate it. But I hate him right now.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
aw sweetie....can you block or just delete the new account? sanity first right?
he is who he is. i'm not schooled on how to legally determine parenting plans when not married. so i have no wisdom to offer on what you are legally allowed to do.....such as not allow any contact. it might be worth looking into.
to the best of your ability, ignore him.
if he shows up, unwelcomed and uninvited, call the police.
a child needs one loving caring parent who will always put them first. and that parent is YOU.
he is who he is. i'm not schooled on how to legally determine parenting plans when not married. so i have no wisdom to offer on what you are legally allowed to do.....such as not allow any contact. it might be worth looking into.
to the best of your ability, ignore him.
if he shows up, unwelcomed and uninvited, call the police.
a child needs one loving caring parent who will always put them first. and that parent is YOU.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 22
Thanks Anvil appreciate the reply. I did block it straight away.
I will call the police but I’m angry I even have to. He actually doesn’t even think there’s anything wrong with showing up semi straight expecting to see his son. He gets to do it with his other kids so why would he. Likes to make I’m doing it to spite him.
I’m sure I will feel better in the morning I’m just spitting feathers tonight at the injustice of it all. Always blamed myself for having a baby with a junky but tonight i want to shift some of that into him
I will call the police but I’m angry I even have to. He actually doesn’t even think there’s anything wrong with showing up semi straight expecting to see his son. He gets to do it with his other kids so why would he. Likes to make I’m doing it to spite him.
I’m sure I will feel better in the morning I’m just spitting feathers tonight at the injustice of it all. Always blamed myself for having a baby with a junky but tonight i want to shift some of that into him
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