Choose a Destination
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Choose a Destination Choose a destination
In order to make progress, you must know exactly where you intend to go. Choose a clear and specific destination, and then you can get busy going there.
Having a vague idea of where you want to go is not going to do you any good. Know exactly where you desire to be and you’re already well on your way there.
The dreams that are compelling are the dreams that will motivate you to take whatever action is necessary. And the most compelling dreams are the ones with rich and meaningful details.
The goals you will achieve are the goals you can fully describe. Give real life and substance to your goals and you’ll quickly begin to realize them.
You can choose any destination you wish for your life. So choose one that thrills you and compels you to be the best you can be.
Delight in the rich details of where you are headed. And you’ll work your way steadily there.
— Ralph Marston
In order to make progress, you must know exactly where you intend to go. Choose a clear and specific destination, and then you can get busy going there.
Having a vague idea of where you want to go is not going to do you any good. Know exactly where you desire to be and you’re already well on your way there.
The dreams that are compelling are the dreams that will motivate you to take whatever action is necessary. And the most compelling dreams are the ones with rich and meaningful details.
The goals you will achieve are the goals you can fully describe. Give real life and substance to your goals and you’ll quickly begin to realize them.
You can choose any destination you wish for your life. So choose one that thrills you and compels you to be the best you can be.
Delight in the rich details of where you are headed. And you’ll work your way steadily there.
— Ralph Marston
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
In the dark days of my son's addiction and my codependency, I remember saying so many times "I just cannot live like this" and "I hate my life". That was a good and accurate acknowledgement of where I was, but I kept spinning my wheels doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...the ultimate definition of insanity.
One night at a meeting a wise woman (who ended up being my sponsor) shared how she had started a journal, a trip diary of sorts, and she had made a list of just a few things in her life that she wanted to change...and then a map of how she would do this, what she would do to accomplish her goals. And she did.
It is all part of making a plan, a plan for US (which is quite a change after all the time we have spent making plans for our addicted loved ones, telling THEM what they needed to do).
My first goal was to get my son out of my home, my peaceful place that had turned into a war zone. Once I accomplished that I would a a calm and peaceful place to plan my next move...and the move after that.
Having a vague idea of where you want to go is not going to do you any good. Know exactly where you desire to be and you’re already well on your way there.
I knew this would be true. Dreaming was dreaming but doing was the only way I could move ahead.
Please think on this reading today, wherever you are in your recovery, make a plan for one thing, or maybe two, of what you need to do to get where you want to go...and then DO IT. I promise you that you will be glad you did.
Bon Voyage....happy journey.
One night at a meeting a wise woman (who ended up being my sponsor) shared how she had started a journal, a trip diary of sorts, and she had made a list of just a few things in her life that she wanted to change...and then a map of how she would do this, what she would do to accomplish her goals. And she did.
It is all part of making a plan, a plan for US (which is quite a change after all the time we have spent making plans for our addicted loved ones, telling THEM what they needed to do).
My first goal was to get my son out of my home, my peaceful place that had turned into a war zone. Once I accomplished that I would a a calm and peaceful place to plan my next move...and the move after that.
Having a vague idea of where you want to go is not going to do you any good. Know exactly where you desire to be and you’re already well on your way there.
I knew this would be true. Dreaming was dreaming but doing was the only way I could move ahead.
Please think on this reading today, wherever you are in your recovery, make a plan for one thing, or maybe two, of what you need to do to get where you want to go...and then DO IT. I promise you that you will be glad you did.
Bon Voyage....happy journey.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Ann 
It's true...I haven't chosen a destination yet. I've not been capable of it until now. I suppose what I need to do is figure out what I *do* want to do from here
Ugh, self-reflection is just awful sometimes!! Lol!
It's true...I haven't chosen a destination yet. I've not been capable of it until now. I suppose what I need to do is figure out what I *do* want to do from here
Ugh, self-reflection is just awful sometimes!! Lol!
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
This is wise and awesome advice!
Such simple, common sense, advice but more difficult than it sounds!
When for so long, the focus has been on the addict, to instead train the brain to shift the focus on your self is tough!
Maybe that's the first choice of "Where I want to be." Is focused on me!
I say it, and know it, but to put it to practice, takes real work!!
I will do well for a while and then slip back to old habits.
I like the idea of writing out a plan of where I want to be, one step at a time.
Such simple, common sense, advice but more difficult than it sounds!
When for so long, the focus has been on the addict, to instead train the brain to shift the focus on your self is tough!
Maybe that's the first choice of "Where I want to be." Is focused on me!
I say it, and know it, but to put it to practice, takes real work!!
I will do well for a while and then slip back to old habits.
I like the idea of writing out a plan of where I want to be, one step at a time.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Seren, you are a wise and wonderful woman whose self-esteem has been put to the test. After all is said and done and in spite of the pain...you are still a wise and wonderful person. Don't ever forget that.
Cece, your recovery shines each time you share here. If you decide you need to focus on yourself, then you do it girl, because you are worth the time and effort it takes.
It's like planning a trip, I think. You choose the destination, then plan how you will get there, what you may need along the way and then actually taking the action of booking yourself the journey. That's the easy part. Taking the first step isn't the hard part....FEAR of taking the first step is. A pox on fear, kick it to the curb, grab yourself some faith and away you go!!
Like with our addicted loved ones, it applies to ourselves, maybe more so. Actions, not words. Doing the do things one step at a time.
Cece, your recovery shines each time you share here. If you decide you need to focus on yourself, then you do it girl, because you are worth the time and effort it takes.
It's like planning a trip, I think. You choose the destination, then plan how you will get there, what you may need along the way and then actually taking the action of booking yourself the journey. That's the easy part. Taking the first step isn't the hard part....FEAR of taking the first step is. A pox on fear, kick it to the curb, grab yourself some faith and away you go!!
Like with our addicted loved ones, it applies to ourselves, maybe more so. Actions, not words. Doing the do things one step at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,684
Originally Posted by Ann 
Please think on this reading today, wherever you are in your recovery, make a plan for one thing, or maybe two, of what you need to do to get where you want to go...and then DO IT. I promise you that you will be glad you did.
Bon Voyage....happy journey.
So glad I visited this forum this morning. I certainly will think on the reading you've shared and am grateful also for your input. Keeping my boundaries in place while focusing on continuing to heal, continuing to gain confidence - this is where I am today.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
You know...captain oblivious that I am, I had a thought this morning. (Go figure!)
My one constant prayer is the wisdom to know God's Will for me and the strength to do it. I am not, seemingly, getting an answer to that prayer.
What if God is waiting to see if I will have the sense to at least begin along some path or other? What if God is waiting for me to take a first step?
So, that is what I am working on. Where to place that first step.
My one constant prayer is the wisdom to know God's Will for me and the strength to do it. I am not, seemingly, getting an answer to that prayer.
What if God is waiting to see if I will have the sense to at least begin along some path or other? What if God is waiting for me to take a first step?
So, that is what I am working on. Where to place that first step.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Sometimes when I am waiting to be "led", I realize that I was probably led to the place I am in today and that I will know fairly quickly if the next leg of the journey is the right one or not. Sometimes God lets me figure it out myself and sometimes I have to backtrack to get back on a good path. Sometimes He throws up huge road blocks and sirens and "detour" signs.
Maybe it's the lessons we learn along the way that's important.
But wouldn't it be nice to just have a map and a compass and a cool jug of water sometimes? And perhaps a little cheesecake and tea stop along the way?
Maybe it's the lessons we learn along the way that's important.
But wouldn't it be nice to just have a map and a compass and a cool jug of water sometimes? And perhaps a little cheesecake and tea stop along the way?
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