Struggling to be strong
 

The last two weeks have been so hard! AH tested pos for opioids, lied..lied...lied... about it to the point I though I was the crazy one! I kicked him out and he is now in an apartment. I was strong and stuck to my boundaries, but some days I can barely get out of bed I am so sad and depressed! I miss him, but I do not miss the lying and behaviors etc... I feel he STILL has not hit bottom! He is acting the same, like nothing happened! I am so mad what he did to our family! He's going to AA and talking to a temporary sponsor, but my gut tells me he isn't going to change! How do you get through the hard days? Are these sad lonely feelings my "detoxing" from the addict? How do you make it through the hard parts? Thanks!

I'm so sorry. Leaving my AXH was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had such a hard time believing that I was making the right decision. But he left me no other choice. I really was a shell of my former self for such a long time. But I regained all of my lost self esteem and even gained a whole lot of confidence I never had before. I just sort of kept plugging along on autopilot. Little by little I started noticing that the ache inside me was fading. I mean, I would literally ache for him! And then it just got to the point where I began to see who he is now, not who he used to be or who he could be. And I just wanted nothing to do with him.

You'll get through this.

Many blessins.

Get busy! I am a firm believer that distracting yourself with positive things helps so much!

I feel for you, however, it is worth it in the end. Life with an addict is signing up for a train wreck. You deserve more. Big hugs!