The Joy of Laughter
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 3
The Joy of Laughter
My husband has been detoxing for 5 days. Just feels capable of ingesting some food today. It's been a rough week. But I found joy.
I have been to 2 Al Anon meetings because the Nar Anon meetings were not at times I could make it this week. Neither group "spoke" to me yet, but I did share at the second one. I will keep trying. That being said, I realize that I have been doing many Alanon type things for years. Our money is separate (always has been), about 6 months ago I put down my foot about him paying his portion of the bills, so there is no argument there. I have detached and just let him do what ever he is going to do for several years. I really don't care too much until it affects me. Sad to say, (or maybe happily), he is very good at protecting me from his addiction (financially, emotionally...things seem ok most days, even when he is using.) Maybe it's because we are older (50ish), the drama just doesn't exist for me. I know I can make it on my own and I know that I cannot save him from himself. I am wondering if the meetings will even work for me at this point. But I am going to go a few more times, just in case (probability with his history) a bad relapse.
My husband is a big baby about being sick (aren't they all, even non addicts lol) Yesterday he was pouting that I left him to go work my P/T job, even though I have called in to my F/T job to care for him. I went anyway. I took my adult son (high functioning autistic who lives with us) to get street tacos and go to the drive in theater. I invited my husband, he said he didn't feel like it and then pouted we were going. We went anyway.
Had a long talk with my son about not lending the husband any money (not even $10) and if he hears the fire alarm go off, to get the animals out (my husband would nod with a cigarette more than occasionally). I felt kind of bad when I set it off cooking breakfast this morning
.
But I have to say, it felt good to go and have a great evening with my son with good food, good movie and lots of laughs and not dwell on "poor hubby" at home feeling crappy. And it felt even better for not feeling "guilty" about leaving his pouty butt at home lol
I feel revived today.
I have been to 2 Al Anon meetings because the Nar Anon meetings were not at times I could make it this week. Neither group "spoke" to me yet, but I did share at the second one. I will keep trying. That being said, I realize that I have been doing many Alanon type things for years. Our money is separate (always has been), about 6 months ago I put down my foot about him paying his portion of the bills, so there is no argument there. I have detached and just let him do what ever he is going to do for several years. I really don't care too much until it affects me. Sad to say, (or maybe happily), he is very good at protecting me from his addiction (financially, emotionally...things seem ok most days, even when he is using.) Maybe it's because we are older (50ish), the drama just doesn't exist for me. I know I can make it on my own and I know that I cannot save him from himself. I am wondering if the meetings will even work for me at this point. But I am going to go a few more times, just in case (probability with his history) a bad relapse.
My husband is a big baby about being sick (aren't they all, even non addicts lol) Yesterday he was pouting that I left him to go work my P/T job, even though I have called in to my F/T job to care for him. I went anyway. I took my adult son (high functioning autistic who lives with us) to get street tacos and go to the drive in theater. I invited my husband, he said he didn't feel like it and then pouted we were going. We went anyway.
Had a long talk with my son about not lending the husband any money (not even $10) and if he hears the fire alarm go off, to get the animals out (my husband would nod with a cigarette more than occasionally). I felt kind of bad when I set it off cooking breakfast this morning
.But I have to say, it felt good to go and have a great evening with my son with good food, good movie and lots of laughs and not dwell on "poor hubby" at home feeling crappy. And it felt even better for not feeling "guilty" about leaving his pouty butt at home lol
I feel revived today.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You're right, it IS okay to find joy and live our lives well, it's okay to enjoy family and friends and to take time for our own interests and growth...regardless of what anyone thinks or does.
I am so glad you found meetings, stick with them a while and see if they don't begin to make sense and help you along the way.
And keep up your outings with family and friends that make you happy and let you focus on your own happiness instead of being dragged down by the negative thoughts and lifestyle of anyone.
I'm cheering you on, it's okay to do that too. Have a wonderful day, a wonderful life and keep finding the joy in each day...it's there if we look hard enough.
Hugs
I am so glad you found meetings, stick with them a while and see if they don't begin to make sense and help you along the way.
And keep up your outings with family and friends that make you happy and let you focus on your own happiness instead of being dragged down by the negative thoughts and lifestyle of anyone.
I'm cheering you on, it's okay to do that too. Have a wonderful day, a wonderful life and keep finding the joy in each day...it's there if we look hard enough.
Hugs
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
