atalose

How are you doing today Hardlessons? Holding strong or shall we get the paperwork started for the Baker Act? lol lol lol

HardLessons

atalose that was a good one made me laugh

Ive spoken to her when she contacts me. Since I said no, she hasn't mentioned a peep about money. I am not going down that road even if she does ask again.

Shes going to have to figure out her troubled life. I told her the last time we spoke about money that I am not the answer to your problems. I tried to solve your problems for years & it never worked.

Thanks

PS I'm ok

AnvilheadII

Shes going to have to figure out her troubled life

she doesn't HAVE to do a thing. her life is HER LIFE. it's time to let her live it exactly as she sees fit.

HardLessons

Anvilhead

Yes your right. It’s her life. She lives her life as she chooses. She always has. Doesn’t matter if I am in her life or not

Thanks

HardLessons

Just a small update

I haven't heard anything from her in over a week now. Prior to that communication from her was sporadic. There was no fight or exchange of bad words. I am not complaining just stating a fact.

I haven't chased after her at all. I am just leaving her be. Letting her do her thing whatever that is.

I am doing ok - its not at all like it was last year in June.

AnvilheadII

good for you in not chasing rabbits down a hole.

are you ready to go full No Contact now? is there any POINT in keeping lines of communication open?

HardLessons

Anvilhead

Yes. This needs to stop again. None of it is bothering me like it once did. But I’m only human & it is upsetting to a point

PS. What’s with the new avatar? Did you win the lottery.? If yes. I vote we move to a remote island in the Caribbean. LOL

AnvilheadII

nah, that's my commemorative $2 to WIN on JUSTIFY at the Belmont!!

atalose

You still with us Hardlessons? How you holding up with letting go of not hearing from her? Have you blocked her yet?

HardLessons

Atalose

Haven't heard a peep from her since June 9. She has disappeared. So I guess if I am not actively solving her problems, I don't serve any other purpose.

I didn't block her. I think she blacked me out?

I am ok. Thanks for checking on me.

PS Im not contacting her.

johnnie360

They vanish when you are of no use. I am glad you are staying strong. It really takes time to get fully untangled. You seem to be doing much better. My situation is much better since last June, I almost got wrapped up again but she did me the gift of moving on and discarding me. Its for my best of course. But i still get twinges of anger. At her, but mostly at myself for sticking around as long as I did. What was I thinking? I was settling for so little in life. It was easy to take the focus off of me and my own issues and pay attention to hers. Good days and bad days. But Im moving forward and there is no end in sight to her addiction. For me the hell of staying was worse than the hell of leaving, I just couldn't pull that plug all the way and she was finally able to. If she contacted me I would never consider anything with her. I've danced with addiction and its a losing battle. I never want to live that way again. Through the sadness that turned to bitter anger to emptiness and sometimes a bit of heartache she did me a favor. I dont miss HER. I am just merely picking up the pieces. It gets shockingly better day after day. She becomes a mere memory and lesson. A lesson I learned about her and about myself. I burned all the letters and all traces of her except the lesson. I hope you are well.

HardLessons

Update

So after a month of not hearing from her she popped back up like during the first week of July. My phone was blowing up.

She had a whole laundry list of problems some new some old (but still ongoing) - all bad. She wanted money help. I listened, didn't engage much, didn't offer to meet, didn't ask many questions.

She loosely stayed in touch for like another week - then poof vanished. Haven't heard from her since. I haven't contacted her at all.

I definitely am in a different state of mind concerning her than I was a year ago. Her life is still a mess & there is nothing I can do about it. I just let her be. She will have to figure things out on her own. I am ok with it.

I debated as to whether or not to even post an update. But then thought I should because you might be wondering what the heck happened to HL? Im here still kicking!

tomsteve

good to read from ya!
for the progress youve made! quite proud of ya for putting you first,too.

HardLessons

Thanks TomSteve

I hope you know I appreciate all your help.

atalose

I know it’s not easy but you are doing what’s best for you now and that’s good. Thank you for the up date Hardlessons, glad to see you are still here at SR and making your well being the priority! Good job!

HardLessons

Thanks Atalose

Yes its been a long & very difficult journey.

I wont be leaving SR. At least anytime soon. My gut tells me this journey isn't over yet. LOL

Thanks for all your help.

SmallButMighty

Glad you are planning to stick around!

I am a few years out of my crisis situation now, and I'm still here, almost daily. SRF&F feels like a very important part of codie recovery maintenance. I suppose there may come a time I wander away but it wont be any time soon!

Thanks for the update!

HardLessons

SBM

There came point in time during my relationship with her where I started reading online. I read all over the internet. At some point I found SR & started reading here.

As time went on & based on the quality of information, I only read here. I don't have any need to search out information elsewhere.

My relationship with her began somewhere else however it eventually landed me here on SR.

Thanks for your help.

hopeful4

Good for you! Proud of your strength!

HardLessons

Thanks hopeful

Hopefully you will still be proud of me 6 months from now.