Sponsors deserve a special place in Heaven
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Sponsors deserve a special place in Heaven
Hello all,
I have not posted in a long time, for reasons unknown and incurable by me, my security program has me locked out of SR.
M y recovering daughter is still living in Florida and has been living with a nice young man, J for about a year. K is doing well in her recovery and is almost two years clean, J about three years clean. We visited them last month and got to spend some time with him, seemed like a great young man who was turning his life around. He had quit his paid-under-the-table-in-cash job as a cook in a sa ndwich shop and had gotten a full time job in a residential rehab - he was loving the work. K is working as a server in an upscale gastro pub in Boca and doing quite well.
In December they moved out of are red room in a house and into their own two bedroom apartment in Boynton Beach. They seemed very happy together.
J had an old motorcycle which he used for transportation to and from work. With his new job, he decided he could move up in the world and bought a "new-to-him, used" motorcycle. K was not happy with that decision as she contends that there are too many crazy drivers on the road, but it was his choice and she "stayed in her square" and minded her own business.
Three weeks after the bike was delivered, on 2/7, J was killed in car vs motorcycle accident and K's deepest fear became a reality. A car ran a red light in front of him and J hit the side of the car. His memorial service was on Valentine's Day.
J's dysfunctional family showed up to drain his bank accounts and generally bad mouth him for his past and make a token appearance at the memorial service. They invade K's apartment ant took over the spare bedroom and used her car while they settled some of Js affairs. They Were not good for K while she dealt with arrangements and the like.
As is normal with most funerals, many of their friends were around and supportive for K during the run up to the service, but they will disappear now that it is over and get on with their own lives leaving K alone to process what has really happened and how her life will change without J.
K did not want us to come to FL while J's family was there, probably a good move as I feel sure that I would have butted heads with J's dad - it could have gotten ugly. We will be heading for FL next weekend to visit for ages days.
K has become progressively more independent as she progressed in her recovery, but we have been getting calls several times a day during the last week, asking advice, or just seeking comfort.
We got a call last night and K told us that her old NA sponsor who married and moved from FL to Boston last July is flying in today to stay with K for the week while she really begins to process her loss. INCREDIBLE! Uninvited, unprompted, just rIght there when K needs her the most!
There is a special place inHeaven for sponsors.
Keep coming back,
Jim
I have not posted in a long time, for reasons unknown and incurable by me, my security program has me locked out of SR.
M y recovering daughter is still living in Florida and has been living with a nice young man, J for about a year. K is doing well in her recovery and is almost two years clean, J about three years clean. We visited them last month and got to spend some time with him, seemed like a great young man who was turning his life around. He had quit his paid-under-the-table-in-cash job as a cook in a sa ndwich shop and had gotten a full time job in a residential rehab - he was loving the work. K is working as a server in an upscale gastro pub in Boca and doing quite well.
In December they moved out of are red room in a house and into their own two bedroom apartment in Boynton Beach. They seemed very happy together.
J had an old motorcycle which he used for transportation to and from work. With his new job, he decided he could move up in the world and bought a "new-to-him, used" motorcycle. K was not happy with that decision as she contends that there are too many crazy drivers on the road, but it was his choice and she "stayed in her square" and minded her own business.
Three weeks after the bike was delivered, on 2/7, J was killed in car vs motorcycle accident and K's deepest fear became a reality. A car ran a red light in front of him and J hit the side of the car. His memorial service was on Valentine's Day.
J's dysfunctional family showed up to drain his bank accounts and generally bad mouth him for his past and make a token appearance at the memorial service. They invade K's apartment ant took over the spare bedroom and used her car while they settled some of Js affairs. They Were not good for K while she dealt with arrangements and the like.
As is normal with most funerals, many of their friends were around and supportive for K during the run up to the service, but they will disappear now that it is over and get on with their own lives leaving K alone to process what has really happened and how her life will change without J.
K did not want us to come to FL while J's family was there, probably a good move as I feel sure that I would have butted heads with J's dad - it could have gotten ugly. We will be heading for FL next weekend to visit for ages days.
K has become progressively more independent as she progressed in her recovery, but we have been getting calls several times a day during the last week, asking advice, or just seeking comfort.
We got a call last night and K told us that her old NA sponsor who married and moved from FL to Boston last July is flying in today to stay with K for the week while she really begins to process her loss. INCREDIBLE! Uninvited, unprompted, just rIght there when K needs her the most!
There is a special place inHeaven for sponsors.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Awww, Jim, I am so sorry for the loss of J and will keep K in my prayers. God bless her sponsor for stepping up to the plate and God bless you for recognizing what could have been a toxic situation with J's dad, and staying clear.
When you do go, it will be a time of family support, a time of healing and one more step to K getting her strength back to carry on.
It's good to see you here again, you were missed.
When you do go, it will be a time of family support, a time of healing and one more step to K getting her strength back to carry on.
It's good to see you here again, you were missed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
People come and people go, Ann is always here!
I am accessing SR via an iPad with a touch screen which I hate, but my desk top security program will not let me into the site.
Thanks for your reply, we fly out on Saturday for a few days with K, it promises to be a bitter sweet visit.
Jim
I am accessing SR via an iPad with a touch screen which I hate, but my desk top security program will not let me into the site.
Thanks for your reply, we fly out on Saturday for a few days with K, it promises to be a bitter sweet visit.
Jim
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
We arrived yesterday in Ft. Lauderdale and had an early dinner at the gastro pub where she works in Boca Raton.
She came and visited with us at our hotel last night . She is devastated, it is as If her spark has left. We looked at some pictures that we have on this iPad of her and J and her tears just silently dripped on the screen.
She has to work today so we will not see much of her, I collected a "Dad do" list from her last night, that will keep us busy for today.
She is just sad to her core and I wish I knew how to fix it, but deep down, I know I can't.
We will be moving into her spare bedroom today to maximize our time with her during our all-too-short visit.
Thanks to all for checking in.
Keep coming back,
Jim
She came and visited with us at our hotel last night . She is devastated, it is as If her spark has left. We looked at some pictures that we have on this iPad of her and J and her tears just silently dripped on the screen.
She has to work today so we will not see much of her, I collected a "Dad do" list from her last night, that will keep us busy for today.
She is just sad to her core and I wish I knew how to fix it, but deep down, I know I can't.
We will be moving into her spare bedroom today to maximize our time with her during our all-too-short visit.
Thanks to all for checking in.
Keep coming back,
Jim
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