I'm not quite sure
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
I'm not quite sure
I'm reading that I don't post enough? Perhaps I misread, umm...
All I wanted to say is that I feel so positive and hopeful when I'm around y'all. Hope you all had great Holidays!
Well, I had uneventful Holidays and that was JUST FINE with me and hubby! (= Now that we're in the new year I've heard from my son that he is moving out of Uncle's house and getting an apartment. I can't find the exact quote from "Uncle" but it was :paraphrased: "If he continues to *use* I will kick him out."
So, I assume that my Son is *using* and assumes that everyone else will take him through life. He called that he is moving out and getting a new place and a Land Line. ummm ok " I txt back. "You got a job???"
"no. but I need a Land Line and I'm moving"
In other words, he's asking Mommy for help again and I ain't gonna do it!!!!
NO WA Y! This kid needs help, he knows how to get it, and he STILL wants everyone else to do it for him!!!
It breaks a Mother's heart.:
Hello?
" Is anybody out there? Does anybody care? Is anybody out there..."
All I wanted to say is that I feel so positive and hopeful when I'm around y'all. Hope you all had great Holidays!
Well, I had uneventful Holidays and that was JUST FINE with me and hubby! (= Now that we're in the new year I've heard from my son that he is moving out of Uncle's house and getting an apartment. I can't find the exact quote from "Uncle" but it was :paraphrased: "If he continues to *use* I will kick him out."
So, I assume that my Son is *using* and assumes that everyone else will take him through life. He called that he is moving out and getting a new place and a Land Line. ummm ok " I txt back. "You got a job???"
"no. but I need a Land Line and I'm moving"
In other words, he's asking Mommy for help again and I ain't gonna do it!!!!
NO WA Y! This kid needs help, he knows how to get it, and he STILL wants everyone else to do it for him!!!
It breaks a Mother's heart.:
Hello?" Is anybody out there? Does anybody care? Is anybody out there..."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 219
Good for you! Stick to your position... but do let him know that you are there for him and will help him in his recovery...
I am doing that for my wife... she knows she has my love and will be here for her as long as she is willing and actively working at her recovery.
T
I am doing that for my wife... she knows she has my love and will be here for her as long as she is willing and actively working at her recovery.
T
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Well I am cheering you on.
As the queen of enabling mamas, I used to jump to serve, thinking that anything I did would make one lick of difference whether my son used or not. Even buying him groceries allowed him to sell them and head back out.
Everything I did for him enabled him to use any money he had for drugs, and by not working he had lots of time to find them.
When I knew better, I did better, and today I would never offer money for anything, no matter how sad/pathetic/tearful the plea. There are places that offer real help...rehabs, detox's, support meetings...and my son and yours both know how to find them.
So I am cheering you on and sending hugs from this mama's heart to yours because I know it's hard to turn them down, even when we KNOW it's what we must do.
Hugs
As the queen of enabling mamas, I used to jump to serve, thinking that anything I did would make one lick of difference whether my son used or not. Even buying him groceries allowed him to sell them and head back out.
Everything I did for him enabled him to use any money he had for drugs, and by not working he had lots of time to find them.
When I knew better, I did better, and today I would never offer money for anything, no matter how sad/pathetic/tearful the plea. There are places that offer real help...rehabs, detox's, support meetings...and my son and yours both know how to find them.
So I am cheering you on and sending hugs from this mama's heart to yours because I know it's hard to turn them down, even when we KNOW it's what we must do.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: OH
Posts: 10
Sometimes its hard to know what our role is, Helping vs hurting,. Its been a long journey for me and my son. He is back out again, reaching out to other people now for" help", because he knows I will not. His po has issued a warrant and he said he was going to turn himself in, but has not. I sent him a text yesterday morning and said your gonna have to turn yourself in, he replied "I don't want to" Sometimes I think its a game, January 26, Language of letting go, "off the hook, talks about not getting hooked into unhealthy self defeating behaviors, : caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies. Learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked. More often than not hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable. Recognize the "game" so we don't get sucked in. "... I appreciate someones earlier comment " let go or be dragged"
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Hello Sixth! Just wanted to send my support to you. I think you are doing wonderful! It is hard to go through, but as we have all learned, nothing you do or don't do has any one lick of help. It is all for our addicted child to figure out.
Hugs and have a good day!
TT
Hugs and have a good day!
TT
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