Lh7272

Hi,

Two days ago, I found my husband slumped over at his desk, eyes rolled back in his head, unresponsive. I then found a small bag of white powder on his desk, which he claims was “probably heroin”, but I haven’t been able to get a straight answer about that. Luckily, he’s okay. It’s an image that is burned in my mind.

I had a feeling he had used the night before. He was so happy, so affectionate. Which has been unlike him lately. I asked if he had taken anything, he of course denied it and made me feel bad for even asking.

Now, he’ll barely talk to me. I feel like every little thing I say irritates him — which I know is to be expected as I’ve been here before. I know that he’s feeling extremely guilty. Yesterday we had a discussion with our parents, to figure out an action plan. He’s spoken to a counselor, and is open to help.

But I need help. He’ll barely communicate with me, is agitated — I mostly get one word answers to anything that I say to him. Should I continue to give him space? Should I try to get him to open up, or wait for him to come to me? Aside from communication, any advice with dealing with this situation would be greatly appreciated. Like I said, I’ve been in this situation before with him, but it obviously doesn’t make it any easier. It feels like a whole new animal.

Thanks for reading. <3

hopeful4

If he said it's "probably H" you know that is what it is right? No one says that. If he was doing H, his body is likely going through some ugly things. I would leave him to his side of the street to do what he is going to do to recover, or not.

I would take this time to go to Naranon or Celebrate Recovery and a therapist for YOU, so that no matter what happens you have the support in place to deal with it.

So sorry.

Maudcat

Hi, Lh.
Welcome.
Very sorry for your situation, but glad you found us.
My guess is he is going through withdrawal and is feeling mighty bad.
It’s not you, it’s him.
Take care of yourself, protect yourself, and guard your finances.
Peace.

atalose

He may have been clean for 8 + years or not, regardless, the disease still continues. And it may be whole new animal that you have never had to deal with before.

Time will reveal his future path and you will see that in his actions not his words. He is open to help so time will show if he actually follows through or not.

In the meantime al-anon or nar-anon or a recovery program to help you might be beneficial. And I would back off and give him the space to figure out in which direction he’s going to go.

But take all precautions to guard the finances!

Willitend

Hi,

I have been in a similar situation with my husband, years clean time then relapse. The relapses have been going on and off over the last 4 years. He can’t seem to grasp onto recovery. He’s now left.

In my experience when they are in withdrawals they are remorseful. My husband would be needy and clingy and telling me how sorry he is etc.

If he’s distant he may be trying to process what has happened. My bet is he is also in shock, as he never thought he’d end up in this situation again.

Sending positive thoughts your way during difficult times.

Spence7471

atalose provided something very true in my case, and something which has been reiterated by our family therapist...

"He may have been clean for 8 + years or not, regardless, the disease still continues. And it may be whole new animal that you have never had to deal with before. "

Each relapse will likely be worse than the last... this time around, my wife decided to start injecting herself... something she did not do in her previous usage. Also, her recovery has been a lot harder this time around because she has said the issue is very much more mental than physical as it was the first time. So for her, this relapse is a very different animal... and her recovery therapist warns her that her next one will be different even still and much worse.

T