Question about cocaine user
 

Hi,
I'm new to this site so please bear with me.
I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the long term behavioural traits of a cocaine user. Like, not when they're necessarily actually ON coke or high, but what do you find the most common, long term personality changes in a long term cocaine user to be?
Please and thanks.

Paranoia, rages and talking absolute rubbish tend to be the most unbearable trait of heavy coke users. Add in the usual addict behaviours of lying, manipulation, stealing and the rest. Not a nice combination.

Thanks for the reply. My loved on suddenly became distant, cold and utterly ruthless emotionally. Would you say this is a result of coke too?

Sounds like it. Sorry you are experiencing this. Have a read through as many posts as you can to get a good understanding of the road ahead should you choose to stay. Keep posting and coming for non judgemental support

I've decided not to hang around. He's with another woman now anyway who uses with him. Literally, he just dropped me after 7 years of being together and now they're off doing god knows what with each other. If he ever decided he wanted help, I'd be there for him as a friend. Nothing more and I'd keep a safe distance. I've been driven to the brink of insanity by his completely odd and cruel behaviour. Thanks for replying. The support here is fab.

Hi, Sarah.
Welcome.
I responded to your other post.
Walking away is the wise thing to do.
Peace.

It's the only thing left to do, short of begging and pleading which won't help and will allow him to justify his actions towards me as the 'crazy ex'. Nope. Never.

Awful :( he doesn't sound like he deserves your support as a friend either. I say this gently as possible as I know it's harder to do and easier to say but leave him to it. You owe him nothing. Supporting an addict in any capacity is a hurtful, thankless and draining experience. Cut your losses completely and find the happiness you deserve xx

How many of the 7 years you dated him did he use coke? In those 7 years the relationship never seemed to progress beyond dating, did he have commitment issues?

We were in a relationship. I've known him a long long time, before we even got together. I believe he's been using for around 11 years, every week. He asked me to marry him and even bought me a little ring lol.

He used every weekend, that I knew of. Then it became Thursday, Wednesday, tuesdays even. Ultimately, I only know the amounts that he told me but (sorry tmi) I could taste it on him when we kissed and he'd have to fess up then. Dating was never a thing for us, we fell into a relationship fast cause of our friendship. I knew He did a bit on weekends after a few weeks of us being together but only learned how bad it was when I was already in too deep. I saw so many amazing qualities in him and potential that I chose to live with it. As a result, he's almost destroyed my mental health.

I think that's my only option. I hate that there are others that have suffered and are suffering like me, although it offers me support. Thank you.

Tolerating addiction can do that to you. No matter what you’ll always be second or third or not even on their radar because the drugs are their everything, not people.

As much as it may hurt that he ended this, it really is to your own benefit if you allow it to. There had to be a little voice inside of you saying for 7 years no – don’t marry him…………..it’s that voice we need to follow not the emotional strings of the heart.

Many of us stuck around in bad relationship accepting unacceptable behaviors because of what we saw as there “potential”. But reality says we have to date/be in a relationship with the reality of who they really are not the potential we think they may have.

I suppose I've come to the conclusion that I was absolutely blinded by love. I know that when I love, I love fully and trust fully and I don't see that as bad, I see it as a good quality and I don't want to lose that. However that being said, I've learnt a few lessons from this experience. Absolutely never again will I accept any type of drug use from any potential partners, and I'll be going into anything in the future looking at the bigger picture. Actions speak louder than words.