Do any of you have rules for alcoholic?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 14
Do any of you have rules for alcoholic?
My son was medically detoxed - yet again. I have told him that he can stay at my home as long as he is not drinking. However it is not always easy to tell if he is drinking. He has fooled family , friends, employers etc. many times. Does anyone have a way to check out if a family alcoholic member is drinking. Is it my business - Al Anon says it is not If he is living with me don't I have the right to know if he is staying sober? If so, how can I tell - is there a way to test - or is that a horrible thing to do? I am so confused.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
You could breathalyze him.
Are you ready for the consequences if he tests for alcohol.?
Removing him from the house, I mean?
Assuming that he would take the test and not give you a tough time about it.
Are you ready for the consequences if he tests for alcohol.?
Removing him from the house, I mean?
Assuming that he would take the test and not give you a tough time about it.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,899
In that case, I would suggest he check out some sober living places. He will have to have a job and help out around the home, and, of course, not drink.
A 41 year old man isn't a dependent child. I can understand you not wishing for him to be homeless, but if he is, it is a consequence of his own actions. If he never faces consequences, there is no reason for him to change.
My heart goes out to you, mama. It's hard letting go, but how else will they learn? (((HUGS)))
A 41 year old man isn't a dependent child. I can understand you not wishing for him to be homeless, but if he is, it is a consequence of his own actions. If he never faces consequences, there is no reason for him to change.
My heart goes out to you, mama. It's hard letting go, but how else will they learn? (((HUGS)))
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Agree with Suki. Sober living can be really helpful for recovery.
Also, it takes the burden of whether he is drinking or not off you.
Mind you, sober living houses ain’t no day spas,.
He may push back on that.
My sib did when we made him leave mom’s house, detox, and go into a sober living house.
My sib was very, very used to having his own way with mom, and he did not like the sober house.
But they took good care of him. He was healthy and sober.
Sadly, we allowed him to come back to live with mom.
Worst decision ever.
He is back to drinking and is a hot mess.
I am not saying that my situation is the same as yours, funal.
I am saying my mother and brother have a very enmeshed, co dependent relationship, and he didn’t have a recovery program.
It was almost inevitable that he would pick up.
Also, it takes the burden of whether he is drinking or not off you.
Mind you, sober living houses ain’t no day spas,.
He may push back on that.
My sib did when we made him leave mom’s house, detox, and go into a sober living house.
My sib was very, very used to having his own way with mom, and he did not like the sober house.
But they took good care of him. He was healthy and sober.
Sadly, we allowed him to come back to live with mom.
Worst decision ever.
He is back to drinking and is a hot mess.
I am not saying that my situation is the same as yours, funal.
I am saying my mother and brother have a very enmeshed, co dependent relationship, and he didn’t have a recovery program.
It was almost inevitable that he would pick up.
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