Old habits die hard
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 72
Old habits die hard
Today a mutual friend told me that the weed addict that I almost dated 8 weeks ago is with another woman. She has the exact same life style as him, and is a raver, addicted to MDMA and god knows what else. I don't even know what MDMA is. It just confirms everything about him, what you all said, and helped me through. He was a future faker, but then realized he doesn't want to go far from his lifestyle at all.
I thought I would feel sad but I felt relief which was weird. And I felt free, like the sky is the limit. I'm surprised at that feeling so I just wanted to post here.
I thought I would feel sad but I felt relief which was weird. And I felt free, like the sky is the limit. I'm surprised at that feeling so I just wanted to post here.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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90% of our communication was "future faking": when someone talks about glamorous future plans that never pan out.
When an addict does it, the result is a huuuuge cognitive dissonance, which causes fantasy to clash with reality.
They realize the fantasy will never happen, get freaked out by that reality and run, to seek comfort in what they know best and are comfortable with: a girl who lives and breathes their own lifestyle.
Well that was enough closure for me.
When an addict does it, the result is a huuuuge cognitive dissonance, which causes fantasy to clash with reality.
They realize the fantasy will never happen, get freaked out by that reality and run, to seek comfort in what they know best and are comfortable with: a girl who lives and breathes their own lifestyle.
Well that was enough closure for me.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
I feel the same relief with my ex-husband.
In a way, I'm grateful to him for proving me in every possible way that I absolutely made the best, the only, decision for my children and myself.
In some ways, my divorce would have been more difficult to cope with if he had straightened out and started living his life in a decent way. Instead, he's reinforced over and over again that he is a dangerous and damaged person, and that we are far better off without him.
Blessings.
In a way, I'm grateful to him for proving me in every possible way that I absolutely made the best, the only, decision for my children and myself.
In some ways, my divorce would have been more difficult to cope with if he had straightened out and started living his life in a decent way. Instead, he's reinforced over and over again that he is a dangerous and damaged person, and that we are far better off without him.
Blessings.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
MDMA is ecstasy. My (stbx)AH told me that I would have less of a problem with his drugging if I took MDMA, because it would make me feel more positive towards him and "enlighten" me since I was "ignorant" about drugs. I said no. If my life is crap, drugging myself to make myself feel better about my crap life isn't going to actually make my life less crap in reality. I am so happy that you feel relief!
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Originally Posted by OpheliaKatz 
MDMA is ecstasy. My (stbx)AH told me that I would have less of a problem with his drugging if I took MDMA, because it would make me feel more positive towards him and "enlighten" me since I was "ignorant" about drugs. I said no. If my life is crap, drugging myself to make myself feel better about my crap life isn't going to actually make my life less crap in reality. I am so happy that you feel relief!
Glad he found what he was looking for lol.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
I have a lights out analogy. If you're sitting in a horrible room full of sharp objects, you can switch the lights off and you won't see the room, but you're still sitting in it. Drugs are just a way to switch the lights off, and anyone you live with or people who care about you, end up having to walk around this horrible room with the lights off because they interact with you, sitting there, in the dark. It hurts other people.
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