Alcoholic that loves a crack addict. Heart broken
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 7
Alcoholic that loves a crack addict. Heart broken
First I would like to say I'm so glad I found sober recovery. Reading the threads, etc have helped me a great deal.
Well here it goes. I am an alcoholic.....been struggling for many years, have had some sobriety but always tend to relapse. I was sober 7 months until this past July....now drink again. In July I had my crack addict ex boyfriend arrested (domestic violence against me multiple times while high, me sober at the time). Our entire relationship was built on lies, stealing, manipulation on his part because of the crack use.
He was using when we met, I did not know because I am not familiar with crack and he swore up and down he was clean. But as the relationship spirled out of contro I would find pipes, he stole everything he could from me, would leave in the middle of the night sometimes taking my car, became increasly abusive and so on. I educated myself on crack addiction behavior and he totally fit the mold.
My problem is....as an alcoholic I have great compassion and understanding for him. My heart goes out to him because I struggle with addiction myself. I'm totally heartbroken seeing him in jail with no one for I was the only person he had. Now we aren't even allowed to talk because I got a protection order against him. I want to talk to him so badly and make him realize how bad he has hurt everyone in his life and how this drug is ruining him.
He has a very good side, loving, funny, smart. Has anyone been in this situation? I know I should move forward without him, put work into my sobriety and make my life better. But I'm so darn sad and heartbroken
Well here it goes. I am an alcoholic.....been struggling for many years, have had some sobriety but always tend to relapse. I was sober 7 months until this past July....now drink again. In July I had my crack addict ex boyfriend arrested (domestic violence against me multiple times while high, me sober at the time). Our entire relationship was built on lies, stealing, manipulation on his part because of the crack use.
He was using when we met, I did not know because I am not familiar with crack and he swore up and down he was clean. But as the relationship spirled out of contro I would find pipes, he stole everything he could from me, would leave in the middle of the night sometimes taking my car, became increasly abusive and so on. I educated myself on crack addiction behavior and he totally fit the mold.
My problem is....as an alcoholic I have great compassion and understanding for him. My heart goes out to him because I struggle with addiction myself. I'm totally heartbroken seeing him in jail with no one for I was the only person he had. Now we aren't even allowed to talk because I got a protection order against him. I want to talk to him so badly and make him realize how bad he has hurt everyone in his life and how this drug is ruining him.
He has a very good side, loving, funny, smart. Has anyone been in this situation? I know I should move forward without him, put work into my sobriety and make my life better. But I'm so darn sad and heartbroken
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 261
Hi Hope,
I have not been on here in years... just thought I would see what the first post was and here you are. Read my posts, I was in the EXACT same scenario till I left and took out a restraining order on my ex-husband. I'm divorced now, have not seen my ex-husband in years, but I can tell you that I was in your shoes for a very long time.
I have not been on here in years... just thought I would see what the first post was and here you are. Read my posts, I was in the EXACT same scenario till I left and took out a restraining order on my ex-husband. I'm divorced now, have not seen my ex-husband in years, but I can tell you that I was in your shoes for a very long time.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Nothing is more important than your sobriety. Keeping a distance is something that your life may depend on.
One day your recovery may be the beacon of hope that he sees to inspire him to get clean too. I hope so, but we both know that nothing you do or don't do will make him change until he is ready.
My heart goes out to you, please take care of yourself first, one day if he gets clean things may be different but please don't get old waiting for him to change.
My son is lost in his addiction somewhere unknown. I pray each morning and ask God to do for him what I cannot.
Maybe you too can take comfort through prayer and meditation, and sharing with us here.
Hugs
One day your recovery may be the beacon of hope that he sees to inspire him to get clean too. I hope so, but we both know that nothing you do or don't do will make him change until he is ready.
My heart goes out to you, please take care of yourself first, one day if he gets clean things may be different but please don't get old waiting for him to change.
My son is lost in his addiction somewhere unknown. I pray each morning and ask God to do for him what I cannot.
Maybe you too can take comfort through prayer and meditation, and sharing with us here.
Hugs
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