Originally Posted by arieswoman002
I'm sorry if I'm so repetitive on these forums. My addict ex who was addicted to cocaine left me about 4 months ago for no real reason. I know the reason was his addiction, but he never bothered to acknowledge anything.
The other night he posted a picture with another woman he spent 2 weeks with in San Fran who I know is a party girl as well. I've blocked him since I saw it...I know it wasn't good for me. I just didn't expect him to move on so fast without even acknowledging or showing ANY remorse for me.
I can't sleep, eat, or even think straight. I started questioning whether he is really addicted to cocaine or if he is clean. It's just bizarre. We were in a very public 4+ year relationship and now you are posting with someone else?
I am so devastated. I know I should move on, but HOW do you move on with no remorse? I have not said anything to him since the break up - never begged for him back, no phone calls, texts, nothing. I tried to keep my head because if I go there...oh my god...I just can't let him take anymore from me.
Anyone know any cocaine addicts who do this? They just keep going and wreak havoc and just never feel bad? He kept picking fights with me before the break up. It was like I couldn't say or do anything right without him blaming me and I wonder does he know that he left me to do cocaine? And what does this girl have to offer that I don't?
Do they move on? How does an addicts mind work? Any responses will help. I am desperate and have spent a lot of time on here...I just feel like when will this pain end?
It isn't fair and I KNOW life isn't fair, but when cocaine use is heavy, WTF happens next? When do you hit rock bottom? His parents pay all of his bills and are in denial he has an issue.
Is it worth me telling him I know everything and that I hope one day I get the apology I deserve? He really ****** me over. Yes, I am grateful we aren't married. Yes, I am grateful we didn't have kids. But it just feel so wrong to get off scott-free.
This pain and overthinking is unbearable.
I am going through all the same emotions right now just as you are. It all just sucks. Your story & mine are different - yet they are the same.
We do end up questioning ourselves. We do try to think maybe they are not addicts.
Try to calm yourself as much as possible. You need to somehow step back from the trenches & try to take a look at your situation from a 1,000 foot perspective. Take away the emotions & look your situation from a logical perspective.
I don't know for sure, but I think if you do that you will see in your Ex ABF the same types of things I see in my addict (her). Below is what I see from my relationship at a 1,000 foot view:
She's an addict
She has done everything to me that addicts typically do
She lies - lied so much so often I lost sight of the truth
She lives a totally crazy life style
I cant deal with or survive in her life. I cant even deal with talking to her
I volunteered for my part in this
I do not have the skills to deal with her in a healthy way
She has totally consumed & taken over my life
She cannot under any circumstances provide me with clarity. She has no answers which will help me concerning any of it.
She does not feel pain the way I do - she is an addict constantly on various powerful drugs - I am not on any drugs
She is not going to change anything about her life at least anytime soon
I cant go back to more of the same.
I am better off now even though it hurts to no end than I am when I was with her. Being with her was worse.
I have to let go of her for my benefit & hers
In spite of all that she did to me - I still love & miss her
I tried everything possible to help her
No matter what she is doing now or who she is with, she continues to have crisis after crisis. She's an addict - living the life of an addict - doing what addicts do. She is not living happily ever after
I am forever changed by my relationship with her. She will always be a part of me - for the good & bad parts.
I hope you see the point to this. I am guessing you could pretty much substitute the word him for her above. What I wrote above is very accurate with respect to my thoughts. I could go on & on with above but I don't think you need to see more.
Make your 1,000 foot view list. Be honest about it.
Confronting your Ex Addict is a waste of time . There is nobody home. If there was you wouldn't be here on SR now. Neither would I.
I perfectly understand how you feel. I am feeling it all now. I am convinced concerning my own circumstance that I am better off being where I am now than still or trying to be with her. I don't say that lightly. I am paying hell for this choice.
I wish you peace in your situation.