Please pray for me and my children
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Hechosedrugs 
Update: He sent me his records. A contusion. A freaking bruise! He got x-rays taken for a bruise?!!! Okay...
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Surprise, surprise. Failed by family court again.
The judge ruled that I had no legal right to withhold visitation until trial. So the kids get to go back to sleeping on bare floors next to all of ex's passed out drug addict criminal friends, and not wipe their butts after making bowel movements because there's no toilet paper, and accidentally drinking bong water, and G_d knows what else happens over there.
BECAUSE THERE'S NO THREAT OF IMMEDIATE HARM. BEING AROUND DRUG ADDICTS DOES NOT PLACE THE CHILDREN IN IMMEDIATE HARM.
He then asked if ex was willing to take a drug test today. Ex said yes. I objected, saying that wouldn't be a random test- that the respondent knew there was a strong possibility he would be asked today. Oh, man, did that **** the judge off! He told me he didn't need to be lectured by me, that this wasn't his first time at the rodeo, and oh my goodness I am damned if I do, damned if I don't. My lawyers sucked. I suck at representing myself, apparently.
I feel so completely hopeless.
The judge ruled that I had no legal right to withhold visitation until trial. So the kids get to go back to sleeping on bare floors next to all of ex's passed out drug addict criminal friends, and not wipe their butts after making bowel movements because there's no toilet paper, and accidentally drinking bong water, and G_d knows what else happens over there.
BECAUSE THERE'S NO THREAT OF IMMEDIATE HARM. BEING AROUND DRUG ADDICTS DOES NOT PLACE THE CHILDREN IN IMMEDIATE HARM.
He then asked if ex was willing to take a drug test today. Ex said yes. I objected, saying that wouldn't be a random test- that the respondent knew there was a strong possibility he would be asked today. Oh, man, did that **** the judge off! He told me he didn't need to be lectured by me, that this wasn't his first time at the rodeo, and oh my goodness I am damned if I do, damned if I don't. My lawyers sucked. I suck at representing myself, apparently.
I feel so completely hopeless.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 573
Some judges are idiots. As are some lawyers. Rest assured all the bullsh*t will come out in the wash, and sooner or later the ex will get himself into a situation he can't get out of. Only a matter of time. I know it doesn't help how you're probably feeling right now, but your situation is not hopeless. Hugs to you.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
I'm really sad that this is happening. The general public really does not know enough about drug abuse. They really do not. It's a real shame. It makes me angry. Think of all the abuse that could be prevented if only people KNEW what could happen to the kids if they had to spend time with an addict parent. I'm so sorry this is happening.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Ugh. Remind me the children's ages again (sorry). I am just thinking that is it possible to just call the police and report they are in an unsafe environment with drugs present??
Just a thought. Tight hugs my friend.
Just a thought. Tight hugs my friend.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Ex sent me an update saying that he tested positive for benzos and vicodin on the drug test ordered by judge. He says he has a prescription for both.
Coincidentally, benzos (particularly xanax) and vicodin are one of the most popular combinations for fighting opiate withdrawals (ex is on heroin, or so I've been told, and so it appears).
The combination is also a rare one- because it's extremely lethal (mixing a downer with a downer). I somewhat doubt this prescription is real, and knowing my ex's penchant for forging documents, I wouldn't doubt if he forged a prescription. He knows family court won't look into it.
Anyway, even if he is prescribed these- it would seem that someone who is on these two potent drugs is, perhaps, not in the best position to be looking after two 6 year-olds? Especially DRIVING them?
Oh, but I digress.
Thank you for the support.
Coincidentally, benzos (particularly xanax) and vicodin are one of the most popular combinations for fighting opiate withdrawals (ex is on heroin, or so I've been told, and so it appears).
The combination is also a rare one- because it's extremely lethal (mixing a downer with a downer). I somewhat doubt this prescription is real, and knowing my ex's penchant for forging documents, I wouldn't doubt if he forged a prescription. He knows family court won't look into it.
Anyway, even if he is prescribed these- it would seem that someone who is on these two potent drugs is, perhaps, not in the best position to be looking after two 6 year-olds? Especially DRIVING them?
Oh, but I digress.
Thank you for the support.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
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Well it certainly seems that he's on full blown PR mode.
It may not be on your timeline, but this crap will eventually blow up in his face. I'm sorry that your kids have to bear the brunt of this. Do their teachers notice anything?
It may not be on your timeline, but this crap will eventually blow up in his face. I'm sorry that your kids have to bear the brunt of this. Do their teachers notice anything?
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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"It may not be on your timeline, but this crap will eventually blow up in his face. I'm sorry that your kids have to bear the brunt of this. Do their teachers notice anything?"
I homeschooled them this past schoolyear, which I regret only because I think it allowed this to go unnoticed longer than it would have, had they been in public school. He never had to help with homework, never had the responsibility of getting them to/from school. So there was really no way for anyone to notice him failing them in these ways.
Dunno...it's a little hinky that he's telling you he had a positive test and for what.
What does the court say, assuming they have their stuff together that much?
The court (self-help desk) tells me I'll receive these results at trial (?) So not even at mediation, which comes a month earlier?
The judge had asked ex in court if he would be showing positive for any drugs. Ex said vicodin "for his hand". His lawyer then said, "vicodin, maybe oxycontin, I don't really know the difference, myself." I don't think the judge caught on to that, but I found that really bizarre, especially considering that oxy used to be ex's DOC.
Anyway, the ball's rolling now, whether or not I like it or like where it's going.
May the circus begin.
I homeschooled them this past schoolyear, which I regret only because I think it allowed this to go unnoticed longer than it would have, had they been in public school. He never had to help with homework, never had the responsibility of getting them to/from school. So there was really no way for anyone to notice him failing them in these ways.
Dunno...it's a little hinky that he's telling you he had a positive test and for what.
What does the court say, assuming they have their stuff together that much?
The court (self-help desk) tells me I'll receive these results at trial (?) So not even at mediation, which comes a month earlier?
The judge had asked ex in court if he would be showing positive for any drugs. Ex said vicodin "for his hand". His lawyer then said, "vicodin, maybe oxycontin, I don't really know the difference, myself." I don't think the judge caught on to that, but I found that really bizarre, especially considering that oxy used to be ex's DOC.
Anyway, the ball's rolling now, whether or not I like it or like where it's going.
May the circus begin.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
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I hope that your lawyer will have a chance to check out the legality of the prescription before the trial. He has a right to see all "evidence" or request what is needed.
And yes, your children should not be in a car driven by a person on these (or any other) drugs. Legal or not, that should be presented as well.
What he says and what he says his lawyer says may bear no resemblance to the truth.
This is where having your own good lawyer comes into play.
And yes, your children should not be in a car driven by a person on these (or any other) drugs. Legal or not, that should be presented as well.
What he says and what he says his lawyer says may bear no resemblance to the truth.
This is where having your own good lawyer comes into play.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Received no child support today. I thought this was fishy, considering he usually pays it a few days early. I asked when can I expect it, and he replied:
"We're going to be going to court about that soon. I'll always pay my lawyer before you, so remember that the next time you try to take me to court."
Soooo... he's taking me to court to lower child support, which he's already $3000 behind on?
Can he really succeed with this? Or will his true colors finally show? Please, let them show!
"We're going to be going to court about that soon. I'll always pay my lawyer before you, so remember that the next time you try to take me to court."
Soooo... he's taking me to court to lower child support, which he's already $3000 behind on?
Can he really succeed with this? Or will his true colors finally show? Please, let them show!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
My ex tried to do the same thing after the end of our custody case. He filed to reduce or stop cs payments because, "I don't want to pay anymore, I feel the court is forcing me to pay against my will." The mediator nearly laughed him out of the office and recommended an increase instead.
I'm sorry you're having such a terrible time right now, and that your legal journey has been so fraught. As much as you and your kids have been through, I truly hope that things finally start going your way.
I'm sorry you're having such a terrible time right now, and that your legal journey has been so fraught. As much as you and your kids have been through, I truly hope that things finally start going your way.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
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A former co-worker of mine was married to a woman who routinely requested an increase in alimony due to financial distress. He didn't want to rock the boat, so he just paid it. This ended when he got married to somebody else. They hired a private investigator who proceeded to find ex-wife's hidden bank accounts, assets, etc. They went to court. The judge was so mad that ex-wife had bamboozled them for so long that he told my co-worker that he never had to pay alimony to that woman again.
I suspect that once the truth gets out, the popcorn machines will be running 24/7.
I suspect that once the truth gets out, the popcorn machines will be running 24/7.
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The story continues.
We've been awaiting mediation. I got a strong feeling I should test him again.
"I can't test him again," said fear. "He knows he's under the microscope, so he's probably clean. That would only validate what he said- that he missed the first drug test because of a legitimate injury."
But this strong new me said, "Recovery acts like recovery. He's still using."
So I had him tested last Wednesday. I told myself not to get my hopes up. Today I got the call. Positive for meth. Apparently a very high amount (9,000 ng, cutoff is 250).
Wonder how he'll spin this one. And the kids are supposed to see him tomorrow and Wednesday. I so don't want to send them over there, but the way the judge scolded me for withholding visitation last time I don't think I have any other choice.
God, please let the mediator see the truth. It seems so obvious now, but he does have a way of twisting reality. Let this be the proof I've been waiting on. Who knows? Maybe he sees there's no way to lie his way out of this one. I would so love to have him agree to supervised visitation without having to take him to court over it.
We've been awaiting mediation. I got a strong feeling I should test him again.
"I can't test him again," said fear. "He knows he's under the microscope, so he's probably clean. That would only validate what he said- that he missed the first drug test because of a legitimate injury."
But this strong new me said, "Recovery acts like recovery. He's still using."
So I had him tested last Wednesday. I told myself not to get my hopes up. Today I got the call. Positive for meth. Apparently a very high amount (9,000 ng, cutoff is 250).
Wonder how he'll spin this one. And the kids are supposed to see him tomorrow and Wednesday. I so don't want to send them over there, but the way the judge scolded me for withholding visitation last time I don't think I have any other choice.
God, please let the mediator see the truth. It seems so obvious now, but he does have a way of twisting reality. Let this be the proof I've been waiting on. Who knows? Maybe he sees there's no way to lie his way out of this one. I would so love to have him agree to supervised visitation without having to take him to court over it.
Last edited by Hechosedrugs; 10-02-2017 at 08:04 PM. Reason: typo
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Is there anyway to make sure that information is seen by the correct person today? The person who will not allow your precious babies to spend time with someone actively using meth? Who only wants to lower his child support payments to buy more meth (or whatever else curls his toes)?
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