Blogs


Notices

Do they brain wash you in rehab?

Old 08-22-2017, 11:02 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 4
Do they brain wash you in rehab?

Hi everyone,

I posted a few days ago. And am curious about what actually goes on in most rehab places.

My fiancé, well, ex fiancé now, has been in rehab for three weeks. It's been going well. She called me one day after her blackout period was over, and then I literally stopped hearing from her. Yes we had our ups and downs, and my constant anger towards her addiction was probably expressed in ways that could've been better, but I didn't know what to do but to be angry about it.

Her Mom has told me they've ' Advised ' her not to call me. So she hasn't? But she calls her other friends, etc.

Any insight in this would be great as this is all so new to me.
Danesmith2323 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Danesmith2323 For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (08-23-2017), Ann (08-23-2017), HardLessons (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 04:02 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
aasharon90's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 13,715
27 yrs ago when I entered rehab via
a family intervention, I was placed into
the hands of those capable of teaching
me about my addiction and its affects
on me and those around me.

The gift of a recovery program was
taught to me and I learned it as I
continue today to incorporate it
in all areas of my life.

As far as my brain needing washing,
it definitely needed it with all that poison
and toxins messin up my mind and
the way I saw things. Everything we
distorted, so a good "brain washing"
was needed to clear away what alcohol
did to me.

Folks in rehab and all those members
in AA that paved the way for me to follow
helped me tremendously in achieving a
healthier, happier, honest way of life
filled with purpose and meaning for so
many one days sober later in my life.

I cant speak for others, but this is
how it worked for me.
aasharon90 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to aasharon90 For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 09:26 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 546
Personally, I highly doubt that any reputable rehab would 'advise' someone not to call somebody else. I've never even heard of that happening before, but I could be wrong.
BlownOne is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to BlownOne For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 09:38 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,207
Originally Posted by BlownOne View Post
Personally, I highly doubt that any reputable rehab would 'advise' someone not to call somebody else.
Unless, they think it to be an unhealthy relationship possibly one that could cause stress leading the one in rehab back to their old ways.

Seems that it may be best to leave these ones in rehab totally alone and then see if down the road possibly the two may come back together in a healthy manner.

In many cases it is a lot to ask for both sides have been through a lot and if the one in rehab cannot continue in their sobriety there's not much chance for anything good.

I personally went through rehab many years ago and I've had many dealings with ones in rehab. I hate to say it but the odds are low for success in both their sobriety and their relationships.

Takes a lot of serious work on both sides to have a healthy relationship.

M-Bob
Mountainmanbob is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mountainmanbob For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-23-2017), BlownOne (08-23-2017), Danesmith2323 (08-25-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 10:26 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 546
Agreed Bob. I recognized that exception. I should have mentioned that.
BlownOne is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BlownOne For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-23-2017), Mountainmanbob (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 10:28 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Do they brain wash you in rehab?

dont alcoholics and addicts need their brains washed?
tomsteve is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (08-23-2017), Ann (08-23-2017), Danesmith2323 (08-25-2017), Mountainmanbob (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 10:32 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Engineer, Guitarist, Golfer
 
zoso77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,381
Blog Entries: 5
Here's my two cents for what it's worth.

There are basically two types of people that go into rehab. The first type are those who do not take their situation seriously and intend to pick up as soon as they're discharged. The second type are those who, at a minimum, are aware that their situation has become untenable. What's the breakdown between the two? I don't know exactly, but my intuition tells me type 1 outnumbers type 2 by a fair margin.

For addicts in the second group, they understand that their lives are in the balance, and they have to start making different, healthier choices. When faced with that stark reality, they have to be very self focused and they have to live their lives on a moment-by-moment basis. Suddenly, romantic relationships have to take a back seat to survival. After all, you can't be a good partner in a romantic relationship if you have to focus on getting better.

I don't know your ex fiancée from a hole in the wall. But what I do know is you're going to have to do something you don't want to do, and that's allow things to take their natural course. If you love her, you'll give her all the space and time she needs to get better. And she either will or she won't. Either way, it's out of your hands now.

Keep the focus on you, because you have to recover from this, too.
zoso77 is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to zoso77 For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-23-2017), BlownOne (08-24-2017), dandylion (08-23-2017), Danesmith2323 (08-25-2017), hopeful4 (08-25-2017), LostinLB (08-27-2017), Mountainmanbob (08-23-2017), OpheliaKatz (08-25-2017), PuzzledHeart (08-25-2017), tomsteve (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 11:04 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
The term Brain Wash could be applicable because rehab and the 12 steps offer a way to cleanse out the old habits by adopting new ones, which include acceptance and asking for help from your higher power. I would rather be cleansed of my demons than stay in them. I am a Mother of a son who has been to rehab a bunch of times. There are times when he doesn't call, and actually I find those times to be good for both of us. Let the process take the time it needs for your fiancé to embrace a whole entirely new way of thinking and acting.
Ilovemysonjj is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ilovemysonjj For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-23-2017), Danesmith2323 (08-25-2017), Mountainmanbob (08-23-2017), tomsteve (08-23-2017)
Old 08-23-2017, 02:55 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Right now she needs to focus on her recovery, not your anger.

One of the things she will learn in rehab is how to have a healthy relationship and until she is healthy herself, that's just not possible.

Have patience, try to understand that this is "her" program to save her life. Something that may help you is to find your own meetings to work through your anger and resentments (and believe me, we all have had them) and learn how to set healthy boundaries yourself. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped many of us find our balance again and stay healthy....no matter how our addicted loved one is doing.

Maybe give meetings a try, or counseling for yourself. When you are healthier and she is healthier, the odds of a healthy relationship increase.
Ann is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
Danesmith2323 (08-25-2017), Ilovemysonjj (08-24-2017), Mountainmanbob (08-23-2017), tomsteve (08-23-2017)
Old 08-25-2017, 10:21 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Ann View Post
Right now she needs to focus on her recovery, not your anger.

One of the things she will learn in rehab is how to have a healthy relationship and until she is healthy herself, that's just not possible.

Have patience, try to understand that this is "her" program to save her life. Something that may help you is to find your own meetings to work through your anger and resentments (and believe me, we all have had them) and learn how to set healthy boundaries yourself. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped many of us find our balance again and stay healthy....no matter how our addicted loved one is doing.

Maybe give meetings a try, or counseling for yourself. When you are healthier and she is healthier, the odds of a healthy relationship increase.

Ann,

Thank you very much for your words.
Danesmith2323 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Danesmith2323 For This Useful Post:
Ann (08-25-2017), hopeful4 (08-25-2017), zoso77 (08-25-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:43 PM.