manicpanic156

Normally I post on the FF Alcoholic section but new news brings me here. Sorry this may be long.

My separated AH made a huge confession.

When we first split, rather than renting a place locally he took a job 8 hours away for 4 months and never once came home to visit me and the kids. Of course, he knew and spoke of all the guys that worked there that did drugs. He claimed it was a horrible way to live.

He moved back home but was very angry I didn't let him move back in with me. He was still drinking and I absolutely won't tolerate that in my house. He ends up getting a roommate...One that he worked with out of town and admitted that this guy was addicted to adderal. Claims he would NEVER try it or other drugs, even tho his own DOC is pot. Which he still did off and on but was a daily vodka drinker and that was the crux of our issues. I was very concerned about my kids going over there with a drug addict in the house and told the court system about it. They said unless I could prove (And that wasn't proof) they were in immediate danger it wasn't my business who he had living with him. I still felt super uneasy about letting my kids go over there. Especially my young vulnerable daughter.

So I wound up discovering a bunch of his internet searches...How much is coke, how much does heroin cost..Best method of using it. (he refuses to inject). He also did searches on how to get out of a hair follicle test or pass it. This was right around our custody court date.

He finally admits he tried heroin about 7 times and did coke many times as well with this roommate. He has decided to try and be sober but he recently relapsed but is keeping to just 14% fruit beer drinks like Lime-A-Rita's rather than vodka.. Also he keeps referring to himself as "An addict" rather than alcoholic. He would rather go to the narc meetings than AA mtgs because according to him he likes the ppl better. He had also admitted a cpl years ago that he snorted a morphine pill down while he was living with me. And once I found this 1 in square plastic bag with a big green R on that had this dark brown tacky/sticky substances in it but he said it was pot resin. I don't understand why it was in a tiny baggie tho??? Anyone know?

He saw a psychologist and she put him on Vivitrol. This is for both alcohol AND opiate addictions so from that I can't tell but find it odd it can be used for opiates. I wanted to add to this line too that I wonder if it gives him rages because he has gone absolutely OFF THE DEEP END RAGES. Crazy pyscho insane scary rages. He will scream/roar as loud as he can for long periods of time to point his voice is hoarse for days. This has happened twice since he quit vodka.

But I'm seriously starting to wonder if he doesn't have a much much deeper issue like heroin/coke addiction. He claims he doesn't, it was just for fun and he realized it took too much $ and you needed more and more and more to get the same buzz. Fully admits to being an alcoholic tho.

manicpanic156

Forgot to mention he also admitted very recently that he believed his roommate was a heroin addict. This roommate didn't last long he got fired from his job. My AH is extremely high functioning and has worked steadily 10 hr days for years on end.

HardLessons

HI MP

I'm sorry for your situation. I hope you find answers to your question

Can you tell me how you found out. About his heroine cocaine use I know you saw his internet search but how did you find out

Also. He is using alcohol. Pot heroine & cocaine. That's a lot of powerful drugs &. Probably means huge problems

Thanks

manicpanic156

HL - He admitted it to me when I called him out for his internet searches. I saw his internet searches because he used his google info on my daughters phone. That linked his searches to her phone. He couldnt really deny why he was searching for that.

I'm almost certain that he used drugs without the roommate around too.

HardLessons

Ok. Then. Back to your topic question

Has he ever lied to you. My guess is yes. Because he is an alcoholic. Is he an addict in general. Yes. You said he calls himself an addict. Did he tell you the truth concerning how many times he used heroine. My guess is no he lied & minimized that drug use

Are you dealing with full blown addiction to various drugs. I think yes.

He's using multiple powerful drugs.
& has major problems

The good news is he is already out of your house for his drinking problems.

I'm sure you will soon get a lot of good advice on this forum.

You will need to focus heavily on yourself. Your AH. Will have to make his own decisions concerning his addiction. If he chooses not to get help there's little you can do. He's on a very slippery slope the prognosis. Isn't good

Please take care of yourself

manicpanic156

Thanks so much for your reply! My concern is more about the safety of my kids at this point. A serious drug problem like heroin is something I will fight tooth and nail to make sure my kids are not exposed to.

TropicalWinter

From my understanding (and personal experience with cocaine), both are HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY addictive.

I'm not exactly proud to admit that I've done cocaine before, but I have. One thing that scared the SH!T out of me about it was that, as soon as you do it, it's like your entire being is wanting MORE MORE MORE MORE. For some people, that draw is completely irresistible, and I understand why.

Good luck to you.

F50Lurker

I agree with Tropical Winter. I used coke back in the 80s and you can get addicted really, really fast. Tread carefully, and I wouldn't advise sending the kids there unsupervised. At All.

AnvilheadII

addiction is weird and unpredictable....back in the 80's i did a lot of coke, pretty regularly, even got into basing when that became vogue. but i was never ADDICTED....fond of the stuff, hell yes....reckless at times, definitely. but when i quit, there really wasn't much to it.

in the 90's it was MDA and crystal. that was a ride. but again, it never took me over body and soul. and when the bf i was using with and i broke up, there went the drugs we shared as well.

so when i first has the "opportunity" to smoke crack i just didn't see that it would really be a problem..........

ha. to best i can tell, after once a weekend use for 3 months i was hooked. it was probably sooner than that, that is just when i went UH OH, houston we have a problem. and it was another 4.5 years give or take to finally get off the stuff for good.

Ann

Trust your instincts, get a lawyer and do whatever you can do to keep this child away from a house where addiction lives. I don't know how old your daughter is but if she is old enough, she may see things and be able to make a statement, or take a picture with her phone (although that could put her in danger)...she may be able to be the "proof" that is needed.

Knowing what I know about addiction, I would never let a young child be alone with an addict.

I admire your persistence and hope you can keep your daughter safe.

Hugs