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-   -   Here we go again... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/411219-here-we-go-again.html)

SoberSupporter 06-14-2017 08:52 PM

Here we go again...
 
Need some advice... I got on this website about four years ago when I found out that my fiancé was addicted to OxyContin. I got great advice from this forum, and of course didn't listen to it. I got married and now have a one-year-old daughter. My husband has a good job and is a good father . We went to counseling for a while after I found out and he started taking Suboxone. I was hoping he could get off of it by now but he hasnt, even though his doctor has moved away. I found out he's been buying them from other people. Also found out that he is getting Adderall from others. We've had numerous fights about this, but this past weekend something new occurred. He was left to take care my daughter while I went on a bachelorette beach trip with my sister. I went through his phone when I came back and found out that he had bought Xanax from an old friend and took it at night while he was supposed to be taking care of my daughter. He says he is sorry he lied to me but he doesn't think a Xanax and Adderall are a big deal. I disagree and kicked him out. Now what? I really have no clue.

Maudcat 06-15-2017 04:47 AM

Hi, Sober. Welcome back.
Well, you know what you know.
Your husband is still an addict, just with different drugs.
Until he is ready to get clean, there isn't much you can do about that.
What kind of life do you want for yourself and your daughter?
Life with an addict, or without?
Life with one is a hard road, as you know.
Decision time.
P.S. Not sure if consuming drugs while caring for a child constitutes "good father" material.

atalose 06-15-2017 06:52 AM


kicked him out. Now what? I really have no clue.

I got on this website about four years ago when I found out that my fiancé was addicted to OxyContin. I got great advice from this forum, and of course didn't listen to it.
Maybe now it’s time to listen. No amount of “marriage” counseling is going to help addiction. All he has done is switch drugs and then added some more.
And keep in mind the only reason you know about the Xanax and Adderall is because you caught him. When an addict fesses up to taking drugs you can bet your life it is a whole lot more in quantity then they will ever admit. So him getting some Xanax from an old friend means he’s a regular customer of a drug dealer.

Addiction progresses, it only grows worse over time until they chose to stop AND seek help to help them stay stopped.

His next move which is so very common with all addicts who’ve been “disrupted” from their comfortable normal daily routine of having drugs, obtaining drugs and fear of running out of drugs will be to get back as quickly as he can into that routine. He will use you and your vulnerable emotions. He will profess his desire to quit, he will tell you he will seek out treatment and attend meetings, do whatever it is you need him to do in order for you to take him back. He’ll claim his family is the most important thing to him, he’ll swear he’ll never touch another drug again, he will talk the talk until you cave and allow him back into his routine.

Now is the time for some very tuff love, make him actually walk the walk not just talk the talk. Tell him he needs to get clean and he needs some kind of a program in place to help him remain clean, then sit back and watch what happens.

hopeful4 06-15-2017 08:39 AM

Now you see an attorney to protect your child. You let him figure out his addiction.

Adderall is like RX cocaine. Xanax is a benzo. So he is mixing uppers and downers. It is a big deal. And buying anything on the street is a big deal.

So sorry this is happening. Take good care of you and your baby.


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