ArtMachine

Hi All, Grateful to be able to share today...

After a weekend of a lot of time with my substance abusing son, not witnessing use or intoxication (Boundary still intact) , I did volunteer help when I promised myself I would not offer help. I got him and his gf a room for the night so he could attend a family function the next day, since they are semi-homeless.

His gf is not welcome at my house (or family events) because they fight, it's BOTH their darn fault but when they're not together, they don't act up. I have to shelter my family from this drug fueled drama, that they might inflict, so I offered to put them up at my expense.

I beat myself up and feel guilt and remorse for being so indulgent and offering help. The weekend with him was good, he was around often and our family event was a wonderful time. None of this justifies the expectation that I have for myself, that I would let them handle their life. sigh...

So for today, I will forgive myself but any input for how to handle the "well behaved addict" with firmness and not succumb to delusions, when things are all nicey-nice, would be appreciated.

Thank you for letting me share,

jerect

Don't beat yourself up or feel guilty, you did what you had to do in order not to ruin a nice weekend with your family. Your motives for getting your son and his GF a room were in the right place. You wanted peace and harmony at a family get together and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are fully aware that addicts bring all kinds of crazy with them so for the sake of others you did what you had to in order to defuse a situation and it sounds like it worked out great.