TiredDad

We saw AW a couple of times over the past week. It was normal enough. She asked about us taking our son to a game room so I drove them and had a good time.

Next visit,
She mentions getting pulled over and the police said she hasn't taken care of a expired tag ticket and there is a warrart for her but they let her go and said she needs to get it taken care of.
After that she continues by saying I thought you were going to take care of that.
(That conversation had taken place before she relapsed and I had to replace Christmas for the kids due to it. )

A few text of her asking how my meeting went and she will always love me and the kids.

And the pitch! "Can I please have the title to my car so I can get a loan and pay my warrant. My boss is gonna cosign a loan for me for 500 so I can pay it. "

My reply, I'll ask my attorney.

Wow, I used to fall for this crazy mess hard. God help us all

TD

Seren

Perhaps the best answer is "I'll think about it and let you know."

Then make the best decision for you and the kids.

Does the car belong to her? Is the title in her name only? If so, the sad truth is that she is entitled to have it...

hopeful4

If the boss is going to cosign, why does she need the car title? Just curious about that.

AnvilheadII

i smell some stinky fish here..............

and YES you are responding/reacting better.......time and distance can do some pretty amazing things!!!

TiredDad

Seren
The car is in both our names and currently listed in our divorce as joint property.
I'm doing what the divorce paper work reflects to not buy, sell, trade or open new accounts until it's final.

TiredDad

Interesting isn't it hopeful.
I had the same thought really.
My gut feeling says she's looking for money mostly

TiredDad

Most definitely anvil
Just before the car title request was the " I will always love you and the kids. " and so on.

The date is nearing. I still hope and pray for her. I also am accepting that words mean nothing. It's not healthy for me to think any other way.

CanadianRose

It is disheartening to not be able to believe anything she says, but I think you handled that fabulously!

TiredDad

Thank you Dee
The most disheartening part is addiction lead her to not even fight for our kids. I have really thought about that a great deal.

Addiction truly took everything of the per son I once knew.

CanadianRose

Yeah, watching someone choose a substance over their kids is the clearest example to me of how seriously drug addiction can mess a person up. That's extreme. No matter how deeply I loved my husband or how happy I was with him, the moment he relapsed I knew I'd drop him for my kids in a second. And that's a person. A person has intrinsic value. A drug isn't a human being. His relapse hurt so much because when I looked at him high, all I could see was my future divorce.

atalose

In my situation, I realized that I was able to see things much clearer when there was distance and silence. Once that emotional tug of war inside of me ended, reality was the only thing left for me to see.

Towards the end of my relationship, my ex was pretty much like a bad used car salesperson. Always trying to sell me BS with words, complements, and empty promises while the end goal was always something for himself, financial, time, rides Etc.

I think this is why counseling/therapy are so important for the family members especially the children. If they could grow up learning that addiction is not a choice but rather a disease then they have a better outcome of not blaming themselves or thinking if they only did this or only said that……etc.