Advice for dealing with aftereffects of watching loved one revived from overdose?
 

I'm so sure I haven't been the only person to experience this, I just can't seem to find any other accounts of it online. My fiancé has overdosed and been revived twice in the past 3 months. He has been clean for 3.5 years and has relapsed or "slipped up" a couple times over the past couple months. Unfortunately the area we live in is riddled with fentanyl, and both times he's used he has flatlined. Fortunately both times I was home and able to call 911 immediately. I do not nor have I ever been involved with heroin, which is why he hid it from me, he would go to take a shower ( he smokes it) and moments after the water started the sickening "thump". The first time after the naloxone hospital and everything I was just so happy he was alive that even though the memory of his face turning blue and his lack of breath and the feeling of utter hopelessness still haunted me, it faded quickly. I assumed (incorrectly) that he had scared himself out of using as well. Then he did it again. This time he pulled a drawer open, I couldn't get in after picking the lock, when fire and paramedics arrived the door had to be ripped in half, he required 2 shots of naloxone and even then they barely got him back. This time I wasn't full of love and relief... This time I'm angry, the memories are going nowhere and I'm not recovering and forgiving. I just keep getting angrier and more anxious. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Are these normal feelings in dealing with an experience like this or will it only get worse? I'm not sure what to do. I've kept my distance and am not speaking about the relationship currently because I know I'm not in a place to make a decision, or be fair to him as I'm sure this was not only traumatizing to me. I'm just hoping I'll be able to cope soon...

Wow! That is a LOT to deal with. I can't imagine the emotions you must be experiencing. I can understand that the second time would leave you a lot less willing to overlook and forgive. You sure would have thought it would have scared him straight but it doesn't.

Our stepdaughter has been gone for over 5 months on her latest drug binge. No car, no job, no place to live and everyone else caring for the kids she left behind, she is 35. You would think rock bottom would get old but she is still going strong. She had also taken 3 trips in an ambulance for overdosing over the years in front of her kids. There is no easy answer.

Not saying not to give the guy a chance but don't let him take you down with him! Good Luck!

I am so sorry you are going through this. I cannot even imagine the stress.

With H, it's not a slip. He is using. Now, you have to cope with that fact and decide where you want this to take YOU in the future. Do you have a counselor? That would be my first recommendation, to find a counselor who specializes in helping families deal with addiction. For YOU alone, for the support you need. There are also NarAnon or Celebrate Recovery meetings that may help you. There will be people there who can relate and give you face to face support.

Big hugs to you.

I went through overdose 3 times with my son, twice he almost died. All happened at home and I began to feel it was almost like he knew I would save him or get help in time. The thing is, it made me even more determined to get him out of the house...he could choose recovery or he could choose to continue to use, but I was not prepared for his life to be in my hands because I am not God and 3 times was enough.

I had a good CoDA group at the time but also sought counseling because it had a dreadful emotional impact on me. What mother has to watch her child almost die by their own hand more than once?

He needs help and he has the choice to get help. Real help is there when he's ready...if he lives long enough to reach out.

But you need help too and I am glad you are standing back and taking care of your own trauma and issues. He will live or die no matter what you choose, you are not responsible for his bad choices.

Keep taking care of yourself. Getting a counselor is a good idea, this is not some little thing, the man you love is killing himself and of course it scares you and breaks your heart.

Hugs

Horrible trauma for you. I use prayer to ask that all bad memories be removed and it has helped me - also, EFT (you can go to YouTube and put in "trauma and eft" and a bunch of videos will come up). I personally like Brad Yates, because he speaks slowly and I can tap along easily with his vids - but there are many others, as well - and that will help.

I couldn't live like that anymore, but that is just me.

My home is my sanctuary - I don't want any people who don't respect their lives or mine in my environment.

Good luck

Yes! Thank you, that is exactly how I feel! It's as if he no longer needs to be afraid of getting laced drugs because if something goes wrong he'll be saved in time... Now the fear is mine alone. It's simply too much pressure to be his safety net. He said the second time that the worst part is seeing what it's done to me, that he felt nothing, like he was waking up from a nap...that's terrifying, that there's no personal consequences for someone overdosing, it's not a traumatizing experience for them, just us.

Bribee, my daughter od'd on heroin 3 months ago. Since then she had her 3 kids taken away which is for the better. She has tried every drug known to woman and nothing I did or said got thru. She saw me as a threat trying to come between her and her true love, drugs. Somewhere along the line her brain was kidnapped and altered by her addiction. I don't recognize her as my daughter anymore, she has changed so much for the worse. Nothing you do or say will get her off drugs. It's all on her. I continue to provide for my grandchildren who are living with their Aunt and her husband and I pray for my daughter's recovery . But it's between her and God. All I can do is observe her struggle and take care of myself. Hugs and support to you.