Advice ASAP, boyfriend hits me and breaks my belongings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 14
Advice ASAP, boyfriend hits me and breaks my belongings
The first time he ever put hands on me was a couple months into the relationships...he shoved me and I dropped to the floor when I tried walking away from him because he kept yelling at. I never thought it was a huge deal because I saw it as him thinking I was leaving the house and he was concerned for me because it was late and didn't want me out, or something. Excuses.
Fast forward to now, almost a year in.....it got more physical and verbally bad it was bad before but even worse now, he went from thinking I'm so beautiful to I'm nothing special. Long story short, I refused to give him money for weed after a night of having a couple drinks which I paid for. I refused to pull out more money....that's when he pushed me out in public, kept yelling in my face. He wouldn't let me in the house, he locked me out, and when he finally let me in he smashed my head in the wall. The whole night was him yelling at me, threatening me, pushing me onto the ground, hitting me. He has a big problem with me not spending enough money on him, I refuse to...he can bad habits that are not my problem.
He acts like he hates me now, acts Like he doesn't want me around but always asks me to come hang out...he wants me to b affectionate to him, but I'm never the one to get hugs or kisses anymore.
He is an alcoholic , he was drunk when he got physical with me, verbally sober and drunk. He just recently told me he does cocaine occasionally.
What does he act so bad to me, but still want me around ??
Can anyone relate help me out? Does this guy even like me?
Fast forward to now, almost a year in.....it got more physical and verbally bad it was bad before but even worse now, he went from thinking I'm so beautiful to I'm nothing special. Long story short, I refused to give him money for weed after a night of having a couple drinks which I paid for. I refused to pull out more money....that's when he pushed me out in public, kept yelling in my face. He wouldn't let me in the house, he locked me out, and when he finally let me in he smashed my head in the wall. The whole night was him yelling at me, threatening me, pushing me onto the ground, hitting me. He has a big problem with me not spending enough money on him, I refuse to...he can bad habits that are not my problem.
He acts like he hates me now, acts Like he doesn't want me around but always asks me to come hang out...he wants me to b affectionate to him, but I'm never the one to get hugs or kisses anymore.
He is an alcoholic , he was drunk when he got physical with me, verbally sober and drunk. He just recently told me he does cocaine occasionally.
What does he act so bad to me, but still want me around ??
Can anyone relate help me out? Does this guy even like me?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 63
Welcome
Hi there and welcome to SR. sorry our first connection involves an awful situation.
You ask 'Does he even like me?' The first question I ask you is ' Does it matter what he thinks?'
Sweetheart he is an abusive addict. Anybody who lays a hand on you is not somebody you should stick around. Get out NOW. Addiction only gets worse and with that the abuse increases. He wants what he wants and he wants it NOW. Bottom line is his drugs come first and always will.unless he decides different and from what I can gather he is nowhere near wanting to change. Your job is to put YOU first and exist in a safe place. This is NOT a safe place
This could turn very nasty indeed. You are in danger. Get out. Your dicing with real danger
All my love and support xx
You ask 'Does he even like me?' The first question I ask you is ' Does it matter what he thinks?'
Sweetheart he is an abusive addict. Anybody who lays a hand on you is not somebody you should stick around. Get out NOW. Addiction only gets worse and with that the abuse increases. He wants what he wants and he wants it NOW. Bottom line is his drugs come first and always will.unless he decides different and from what I can gather he is nowhere near wanting to change. Your job is to put YOU first and exist in a safe place. This is NOT a safe place
This could turn very nasty indeed. You are in danger. Get out. Your dicing with real danger
All my love and support xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by suzyontour 
Hi there and welcome to SR. sorry our first connection involves an awful situation.
You ask 'Does he even like me?' The first question I ask you is ' Does it matter what he thinks?'
Sweetheart he is an abusive addict. Anybody who lays a hand on you is not somebody you should stick around. Get out NOW. Addiction only gets worse and with that the abuse increases. He wants what he wants and he wants it NOW. Bottom line is his drugs come first and always will.unless he decides different and from what I can gather he is nowhere near wanting to change. Your job is to put YOU first and exist in a safe place. This is NOT a safe place
This could turn very nasty indeed. You are in danger. Get out. Your dicing with real danger
All my love and support xx
You ask 'Does he even like me?' The first question I ask you is ' Does it matter what he thinks?'
Sweetheart he is an abusive addict. Anybody who lays a hand on you is not somebody you should stick around. Get out NOW. Addiction only gets worse and with that the abuse increases. He wants what he wants and he wants it NOW. Bottom line is his drugs come first and always will.unless he decides different and from what I can gather he is nowhere near wanting to change. Your job is to put YOU first and exist in a safe place. This is NOT a safe place
This could turn very nasty indeed. You are in danger. Get out. Your dicing with real danger
All my love and support xx
I don't do drugs, I don't smoke.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Does this guy even like me?
He wants you around for a punching bag, both physically and verbally. He does it because he is an abusive addict.
You deserve better, hon.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
He wants you around because...
1) you might be terrorized into giving him money
2) sex
3) you're his possession in his mind
4) bullies need victims.
Please call a domestic violence hotline and get help getting out of there. It will only get worse if you don't.
Sending you a hug.
1) you might be terrorized into giving him money
2) sex
3) you're his possession in his mind
4) bullies need victims.
Please call a domestic violence hotline and get help getting out of there. It will only get worse if you don't.
Sending you a hug.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by suki44883
Sure doesn't sound like it. Why do you like him?
He wants you around for a punching bag, both physically and verbally. He does it because he is an abusive addict.
You deserve better, hon.
He wants you around for a punching bag, both physically and verbally. He does it because he is an abusive addict.
You deserve better, hon.
It just recently got really bad within the month I've seen a selfish mean side to him, that's actually helping me get over him.
He has anger issues, did anger management.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 16
I have been there
I have been where you are now. You feel like you are living with two different people and so also feel like you have a double life. No doubt it is confusing. I can't tell you what to do. You will know. I don't have any idea who you are but I just had to leave my husband. We were together 10 years. I have never loved anyone more. He told me the same. Until he started using again. Then I got to spend time with that other guy. The one who wants my money, my sex, my love only to try to make himself feel better. My husband destroyed our home, locked me out, took my keys, kept me from work ripped and kicked down doors etc. It only got worse. Never think that there isn't a way out. There is always a way out. I had no friends no money and no car and we were being evicted when I called the police. That was 3 months ago. I am still standing. If nothing else tell somebody what has happened. People are more understanding than you think. Hide money somewhere he can't find. Get an old phone and charge the battery in case he takes yours and you need to call for help. I always thought I was hiding what was going on so well but everyone already knew. They were waiting for me. Be kind to yourself. It is ok to decide what you need to do and when. You are the best judge of your situation. Trust yourself. Be safe. mywitwsomeQUOTE=LYF7;6450375]The first time he ever put hands on me was a couple months into the relationships...he shoved me and I dropped to the floor when I tried walking away from him because he kept yelling at. I never thought it was a huge deal because I saw it as him thinking I was leaving the house and he was concerned for me because it was late and didn't want me out, or something. Excuses.
Fast forward to now, almost a year in.....it got more physical and verbally bad it was bad before but even worse now, he went from thinking I'm so beautiful to I'm nothing special. Long story short, I refused to give him money for weed after a night of having a couple drinks which I paid for. I refused to pull out more money....that's when he pushed me out in public, kept yelling in my face. He wouldn't let me in the house, he locked me out, and when he finally let me in he smashed my head in the wall. The whole night was him yelling at me, threatening me, pushing me onto the ground, hitting me. He has a big problem with me not spending enough money on him, I refuse to...he can bad habits that are not my problem.
He acts like he hates me now, acts Like he doesn't want me around but always asks me to come hang out...he wants me to b affectionate to him, but I'm never the one to get hugs or kisses anymore.
He is an alcoholic , he was drunk when he got physical with me, verbally sober and drunk. He just recently told me he does cocaine occasionally.
What does he act so bad to me, but still want me around ??
Can anyone relate help me out? Does this guy even like me?[/QUOTE]
Fast forward to now, almost a year in.....it got more physical and verbally bad it was bad before but even worse now, he went from thinking I'm so beautiful to I'm nothing special. Long story short, I refused to give him money for weed after a night of having a couple drinks which I paid for. I refused to pull out more money....that's when he pushed me out in public, kept yelling in my face. He wouldn't let me in the house, he locked me out, and when he finally let me in he smashed my head in the wall. The whole night was him yelling at me, threatening me, pushing me onto the ground, hitting me. He has a big problem with me not spending enough money on him, I refuse to...he can bad habits that are not my problem.
He acts like he hates me now, acts Like he doesn't want me around but always asks me to come hang out...he wants me to b affectionate to him, but I'm never the one to get hugs or kisses anymore.
He is an alcoholic , he was drunk when he got physical with me, verbally sober and drunk. He just recently told me he does cocaine occasionally.
What does he act so bad to me, but still want me around ??
Can anyone relate help me out? Does this guy even like me?[/QUOTE]
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Palehorse82
I have been where you are now. You feel like you are living with two different people and so also feel like you have a double life. No doubt it is confusing. I can't tell you what to do. You will know. I don't have any idea who you are but I just had to leave my husband. We were together 10 years. I have never loved anyone more. He told me the same. Until he started using again. Then I got to spend time with that other guy. The one who wants my money, my sex, my love only to try to make himself feel better. My husband destroyed our home, locked me out, took my keys, kept me from work ripped and kicked down doors etc. It only got worse. Never think that there isn't a way out. There is always a way out. I had no friends no money and no car and we were being evicted when I called the police. That was 3 months ago. I am still standing. If nothing else tell somebody what has happened. People are more understanding than you think. Hide money somewhere he can't find. Get an old phone and charge the battery in case he takes yours and you need to call for help. I always thought I was hiding what was going on so well but everyone already knew. They were waiting for me. Be kind to yourself. It is ok to decide what you need to do and when. You are the best judge of your situation. Trust yourself. Be safe. mywitwsomeQUOTE=LYF7;6450375]The first time he ever put hands on me was a couple months into the relationships...he shoved me and I dropped to the floor when I tried walking away from him because he kept yelling at. I never thought it was a huge deal because I saw it as him thinking I was leaving the house and he was concerned for me because it was late and didn't want me out, or something. Excuses.
Fast forward to now, almost a year in.....it got more physical and verbally bad it was bad before but even worse now, he went from thinking I'm so beautiful to I'm nothing special. Long story short, I refused to give him money for weed after a night of having a couple drinks which I paid for. I refused to pull out more money....that's when he pushed me out in public, kept yelling in my face. He wouldn't let me in the house, he locked me out, and when he finally let me in he smashed my head in the wall. The whole night was him yelling at me, threatening me, pushing me onto the ground, hitting me. He has a big problem with me not spending enough money on him, I refuse to...he can bad habits that are not my problem.
He acts like he hates me now, acts Like he doesn't want me around but always asks me to come hang out...he wants me to b affectionate to him, but I'm never the one to get hugs or kisses anymore.
He is an alcoholic , he was drunk when he got physical with me, verbally sober and drunk. He just recently told me he does cocaine occasionally.
What does he act so bad to me, but still want me around ??
Can anyone relate help me out? Does this guy even like me?
Fast forward to now, almost a year in.....it got more physical and verbally bad it was bad before but even worse now, he went from thinking I'm so beautiful to I'm nothing special. Long story short, I refused to give him money for weed after a night of having a couple drinks which I paid for. I refused to pull out more money....that's when he pushed me out in public, kept yelling in my face. He wouldn't let me in the house, he locked me out, and when he finally let me in he smashed my head in the wall. The whole night was him yelling at me, threatening me, pushing me onto the ground, hitting me. He has a big problem with me not spending enough money on him, I refuse to...he can bad habits that are not my problem.
He acts like he hates me now, acts Like he doesn't want me around but always asks me to come hang out...he wants me to b affectionate to him, but I'm never the one to get hugs or kisses anymore.
He is an alcoholic , he was drunk when he got physical with me, verbally sober and drunk. He just recently told me he does cocaine occasionally.
What does he act so bad to me, but still want me around ??
Can anyone relate help me out? Does this guy even like me?
Has he done anything rash since you left. He smashed my phone for the second time. I haven't spoken to him in a couple days, then yesterday he kept calling I answered, he yelled into the phone and I just hung up on him again.
He says he can't help it, he has a bad temper.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
No, I guess my question is...why does he still want me around when he just acts like he hates me, I actually don't know my question I just want to understand why he is doing this. What's going on really?
And they will keep on doing it for as long as you keep going back.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Hey...
I'm really sorry I'm late to this thread.
It's really, really important at this time that you know and understand that any kind of abuse -- physical or emotional -- is simply unacceptable. You do not deserve to be on the receiving end of this. What he is doing has nothing to do with you. Nor is it your fault.
We're here to support you, and we encourage you to consider what is best for your safety and well being.
We also have resources here that you may find helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sed-woman.html
Please keep us posted, and above all, please be safe.
I'm really sorry I'm late to this thread.
It's really, really important at this time that you know and understand that any kind of abuse -- physical or emotional -- is simply unacceptable. You do not deserve to be on the receiving end of this. What he is doing has nothing to do with you. Nor is it your fault.
We're here to support you, and we encourage you to consider what is best for your safety and well being.
We also have resources here that you may find helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sed-woman.html
Please keep us posted, and above all, please be safe.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 52
They'reright
Sweetie trust me, it just escalates.
My alcoholic addict boyfriend started with pushing me down as well.
Fast forward a year and a half and about a month ago he hit me in the head so hard I had a concussion.
When he's sober he is amazing. He would give me back rubs and foot rubs after work, cook dinner, always tell me how beautiful I am, Etc.
The next thing you know he's stealing my cash and lying about it, stealing my credit card and racking up debt for drugs and alcohol, breaking my things, etc.
The last time he got drunk and was at my house I brought a friend back with me because I felt like I would be safer that way as opposed to going back home alone. He ended up breaking a glass picture over my friend's head and my friend was bleeding from the head and arms. He is currently in jail now on assault and battery charges. He's also lost his license due to DUI.
He started drinking again just weeks out of rehab. I don't know about drug use but it wouldn't surprise me.
Get out now before it gets worse.
My alcoholic addict boyfriend started with pushing me down as well.
Fast forward a year and a half and about a month ago he hit me in the head so hard I had a concussion.
When he's sober he is amazing. He would give me back rubs and foot rubs after work, cook dinner, always tell me how beautiful I am, Etc.
The next thing you know he's stealing my cash and lying about it, stealing my credit card and racking up debt for drugs and alcohol, breaking my things, etc.
The last time he got drunk and was at my house I brought a friend back with me because I felt like I would be safer that way as opposed to going back home alone. He ended up breaking a glass picture over my friend's head and my friend was bleeding from the head and arms. He is currently in jail now on assault and battery charges. He's also lost his license due to DUI.
He started drinking again just weeks out of rehab. I don't know about drug use but it wouldn't surprise me.
Get out now before it gets worse.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
