Surprise! Your husband and father to your son is addicted to alcohol and cocaine
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 44
Hi all, well, I have no idea how things are going ha. He hasn't drank since I caught him 15 days ago, I will never know about cocaine even though he swears on my son's life he hasn't touched it. He went to aa a few times but not at all this week so far. He was such an amazing guy again for a while....but he has been mean and rude again which makes me doubt him unless he is just a mean and rude guy....I regret my marriage.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, that's the pattern. Get busted by the family, put on the good husband/good son act for a while and then back to the same old same old. I wouldn't be surprised if he's using and maybe drinking too. Just because you don't see it...
You don't have to stay married to him, Lacy.
When I was dealing with this with my (now ex) husband, I had a therapist ask me why didn't I cut my losses? I didn't have an answer for that, and in fact that stuck in my head as being the solution and I did finally get out a few months later.
You deserve better, so does your child. ((hug))
You don't have to stay married to him, Lacy.
When I was dealing with this with my (now ex) husband, I had a therapist ask me why didn't I cut my losses? I didn't have an answer for that, and in fact that stuck in my head as being the solution and I did finally get out a few months later.
You deserve better, so does your child. ((hug))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 44
I don't know what to do. I do believe he isn't drinking. But it's the nastiness I don't want around me. I don't want every day to suck. He helps cook, clean, half asses taking care of our son, and I am certainly not perfect and sweet all the time. I will never want to get married again....like Idk if you can get a relationship back when all the trust is gone and with the trust went romance, if I can't trust him, he isn't nice, and there is no more intimacy. ..wtf is left?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
If he is in fact newly sober, it takes a long time for the brain and body to heal. Lots of roller coaster emotions and inability to control them. He may settle down in time, but no way to know. In the meantime - if you aren't at the leaving point - if it were me I'd try to give him lots of space. I mean, it takes months for things to settle down.
In my marriage, drugs and alcohol were the tip of the iceberg. So much more came out that made it impossible for me to stay.
Maybe take a look over at the Newcomers side of the forums, where newly sober people are trying to get a grip on their lives. I don't know, have you gone to any Al Anon meetings - that's for friends and family of alcoholics? It helps to be around people who understand.
In my marriage, drugs and alcohol were the tip of the iceberg. So much more came out that made it impossible for me to stay.
Maybe take a look over at the Newcomers side of the forums, where newly sober people are trying to get a grip on their lives. I don't know, have you gone to any Al Anon meetings - that's for friends and family of alcoholics? It helps to be around people who understand.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
"Mean and rude". Hmmm. I'm sorry to hear that...without or without addiction...some people don't need the help of any substance to be mean or rude....sometimes people don't see these character traits in another until after the honeymoon, unfortunately. Hang in there. You deserve to be treated nice, whether this is the addiction in him talking or if this is just part of his basic character.
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