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My boyfriends daughter

Old 01-17-2017, 07:07 AM
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My boyfriends daughter

My boyfriends daughter is in a bad way. He's flying far away with money we can't afford because it's really bad.
My advice was that if she wakes up before we buy a ticket he should stay.
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Old 01-17-2017, 12:07 PM
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I'm sorry, CGG. Thoughts and prayers sent.
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Old 01-17-2017, 12:19 PM
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Sounds like a horrible situation for him to be in. I know people who lived with not knowing if their child, husband, parent or friend was going to wake up or not. I can understand him wanting to fly to be by her side at this time.

Very sorry for what you are going through.
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Old 01-17-2017, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by atalose View Post
Sounds like a horrible situation for him to be in. I know people who lived with not knowing if their child, husband, parent or friend was going to wake up or not. I can understand him wanting to fly to be by her side at this time.

Very sorry for what you are going through.
Yes I do understand that. And he should go. It's a new place he's renting for work and would be spending his srent and insurance money which is Already almost a month late. He just got this place so I'm scared for us losing it. He was out of work for months.

Things have gotten worse. His daughter is on a ventilator lots of lung damage not responding as they'd like. He and I are on one page that he must go. Unfortunately he lost his wallet and all I'd. All day we've been getting birth certificate, tried to get a license but he's self employed no w2
and he lost his ss card. There's a chance he may be able to get verification through tsa but not certain.

Now how son has left rehab because he's upset. Very close to dd, and also opiate addict. We came to pick him up and bring him home now he's all sketchy wanting to wait for a friend then maybe get a ride to us.

I sent bf to find him and try to get him to come with us.
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Old 01-17-2017, 02:22 PM
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I lost my wallet while in California last year. Leave lots of extra time and bring everything you have with your(his) name and address on it. They finally let me fly with a prescription bottle and my car registration. The key was that I needed something with my name and address on it. I also had my birth certificate. My wife is always prepared thankfully
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Old 01-17-2017, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by carguysgirl View Post
My boyfriends daughter is in a bad way. He's flying far away with money we can't afford because it's really bad.
My advice was that if she wakes up before we buy a ticket he should stay.
I can only assume that she has overdosed, and I hope to God I'm wrong.

But assuming I'm not, this is one of those times I don't have advice, only prayers. I can't imagine what it's like for your boyfriend and watching a child self destruct. So prayers for her, prayer for your boyfriend, and prayers for you during this difficult time.
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Old 01-17-2017, 02:37 PM
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Thanks for the advice on the flying, we'll give it a whirl.

Yes overdosed in a bathtub. On ventilator. Not responding.

Now his son who just left rehab ghosted on us probably to score before we bring him home.
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Old 01-17-2017, 03:18 PM
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Yes overdosed in a bathtub. On ventilator. Not responding
.

I am so sorry.

Please keep us posted when you can.
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Old 01-17-2017, 03:48 PM
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I am so very sorry and my prayers go out for all of you.
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Old 01-18-2017, 09:27 AM
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I too am so sorry for all of you. Hugs and prayers!
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Old 01-18-2017, 10:14 AM
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My bf was able to get an actual license at a different dmv this morning. He's on his way to the airport now. Do decided going is too much for him but not sure if he'll go back to rehab. I'm terrified for us all.

They have no idea how long SD went without air. No water in her lungs according to xray so she stopped breathing before going under. I fear that because her bf is an illegal pot dealer he tried to revive her in the tub before calling authorities to his place. He would have wanted to hide any signs of his activities around that.

Not much brain activity.

I'm sick. Absolutely sick.

DS who is trying to recover got an absolutely abusive text from his other sister saying that if he does not go and she dies that it's his fault.
She posted on Facebook but never contacted her brother. He found out by waking up to messages from people who saw the post.
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Old 01-18-2017, 11:20 AM
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DS who is trying to recover got an absolutely abusive text from his other sister saying that if he does not go and she dies that it's his fault.
She posted on Facebook but never contacted her brother. He found out by waking up to messages from people who saw the post.
You're describing what sick people do, but as upsetting as it is, there's really nothing you can do about it. Often times the best play is to do nothing, and the benefit of this is the person acting out attracts a lot of negative attention they don't necessarily want.

Do your best to keep your focus on you, and your boyfriend. He's going to need your support in the hours and days to come.
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Old 01-18-2017, 11:59 AM
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Thanks Zoso.
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Old 01-18-2017, 01:07 PM
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carguysgirl,

I am so sorry. I'm praying your SD pulls through this. Praying for you all!

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Old 01-21-2017, 10:46 PM
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Thank you all for your prayers. Major trigger warning because it's not good.

She didn't make it. She was still breathing on her own and heart beating when he got there but very little brain activity. After about 24 hours she lost the ability to breathe or keep a pulse on her own so they turned off the ventilator today.

I hardly know but bf's did, she was lost to her addiction for almost the entire 4 years we've been together. My bf hadn't seen her in about 2 years and it was sporadic before then.

She had recently got back in touch as she'd been talking vivitrol but she chose to move from where she was without the third shot she was supposed to get and started to slip. Her overdose was Xanax her doc was heroin.

I tried to support my bf as best I could from here. I have a very hard time around drug abuse because I've lost friends to it. One of my best friends overdosed just a month ago and another friend overdosed 1 year before that. I have others who are gone lost to addiction.

So now there is my bf's has son. He had put himself in rehab near here we only found out when we heard about bf's poor dad. He'd been in and out of state couch surfing sometimes using sometimes clean. So great news he put himself in rehab, I feel like he's really trying. However he left upon hearing about bf's dd he came here for 1 night and he told us he was supposed to be on suboxone taper for withdrawal but wasn't because he'd left. My bf took him out for beer and bought him alcohol for the evening at home. I'm a different type of gal, but never a parent and I kept quiet. Except to suggest that has would be best returning to rehab, bf says eventually but not now he needs family first, then rehab. It's has decisions to make anyway. So it goes.

My bf came home from the hospital yesterday and told has that his sister is gone and he's with him now at my bf's brothers house who fortunately lives close by.

I'm now having a hard time for a couple of reasons.

Having lost a best friend a month ago and throwing dirt on her grave I'm pretty darn triggered and on top of that I lost my aunt the day my bf flew to the hospital. Her wake was the day he was coming back and her funeral the next day. I told him that I needed to go to the wake and funeral and he asked me to stay and support him while he told has. I questioned the idea because I don't know him well but he said he needed my support. My mom and sister both understood so I stayed, but he totally changed his plans and spent time alone with has which typically wouldn't bother me but I had really wanted to be with my own family and felt my sacrifice was ignored.

Also I'm just not sure that I'm ready to roll the dice with has. It might be time to get off the merry go round to preserve my sanity. But at such a time it seems miserable to do.
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Old 01-22-2017, 01:15 AM
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Carguysgirl,

So sorry for all the losses in your life.. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling.

Regarding the situation you are in with your bf, I think deep down inside you know what is going to be best for you and your future. Remember that you are the most important part of your life, put yourself first!

Good luck
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Old 01-22-2017, 07:05 AM
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Thanks.
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Old 01-22-2017, 10:14 AM
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I am very, very sorry for your losses. Sadly, this is how things often end when addiction is in the picture. The need for drugs and the need to be under the influence overpowers the user's sense of survival.

As for you...

I would take whatever time you need to ground yourself and center yourself. You've taken a lot of hits lately, and you need time to grieve and mourn. We're here to help you get through it, and we'll support you in any way you feel is appropriate.

Again, I'm so sorry.
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Old 01-22-2017, 11:39 AM
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Old 01-23-2017, 05:13 AM
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I've been following your post and realized after a while that this was the same girl I met once last November on her 21st bday. I am friends with her mom. This is so very devastating. I'm not super close with her mom, but we share mutual friends. There are 3 of us for whom this hit so close to home, as this could have been any one of our children who are also addicts.

My heart is so sad for all of her loved ones. Sending prayers for strength......
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