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Old 12-30-2016, 07:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy

my boyfriend blocked me :(


my boyfriend and i have been together for about 7 months and hes been in and out of rehab. but he never was distant to me till this last time he was in rehab, he called me like 2 times in 3 months, i saw him once and this christmas eve he blocked me on facebook using his moms phone and i have no idea why, we had so many plans together and i dont know why he changed, even if he has decided he would want to be alone for some time i dont understand why he would be so mean and block me and not say one word to me, he was so amazing always and he always said he would treat me the right way, i just dont understand, he doesnt seem like himself and his mom agrees and even she is confused as to why hes acting this way towards me, ive tried reaching out other ways but nothing anyone have any thoughts thank you
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Old 12-30-2016, 07:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Just prayers and support.
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Old 12-30-2016, 07:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
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ive supported him this whole time, ive been by his side, but i just dont get why he would do it this way, i dont know if he means its over, im just so confused, but thank you, i appreciate it
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Old 12-30-2016, 08:06 AM   #4 (permalink)
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It is confusing. People in rehab are all over the place emotionally. I would just let him be. Know that's hard, but hopefully he is concentrating on his sobriety. What is something that you can do for yourself that makes you happy? This is an opportunity for you to experience life without an addict in it. Could be great for you. Do you have any kind of group support, like Nar-Anon?
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Old 12-30-2016, 08:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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It is confusing. People in rehab are all over the place emotionally. I would just let him be. Know that's hard, but hopefully he is concentrating on his sobriety. What is something that you can do for yourself that makes you happy? This is an opportunity for you to experience life without an addict in it. Could be great for you. Do you have any kind of group support, like Nar-Anon?
thank you and no ive never been to a support group like that but me and his mom have been planning to go and i do think it is a good thing for me and her alike, but ill take all of what you told me and use it, thank you again
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Old 12-30-2016, 09:21 AM   #6 (permalink)
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years of drug and/or alcohol abuse, then take away the drugs/alcohol and a persons mind is mayhem. if hes like I was, he doesn't even know whats going on.

PLEASE look into nar anon for yourself. it might be harsh, but a 7 month relationship where hes been in and out of rehab.....welp, mentally and emotionally healthy people don't get into relationships with someone like that.
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Old 12-30-2016, 09:26 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi elizabethvincen - I would recommend Alanon/Naranon also. It will open your eyes to many things. I went into Alanon thinking I would understand my AH better. I walked out realizing the meetings were really for me - to learn about myself better. It is very eye opening, and allows room for personal growth and strength that you did not know was there.
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Old 12-30-2016, 11:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Elizabethvicen,

Welcome to the forum, you have found a great place loaded with experience, strength and hope.

Three others have already suggested it, so I cannot"second" the motion; I will "fourth" the motion that you find a Nar-anon meeting near you.

It is a wonderful idea that you and his mom have been planning to go -- it is time to quit planning and start moving.

If possible visit several meetings near you and attend at least 6 before you finalize your decision as to whether the program is right for you and which meeting to call your home group. Each home group will have a different personality and you will find one that fits eventually. A place that you will feel safe and surrounded by kindred spirits.

Visit nar-anon.org and click on "find a meeting". The map function is pretty much a disaster, I recommend the city list for locating your options.

Keep coming back,

Jim
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Old 12-30-2016, 12:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
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So sorry for your pain, elizabeth, but IMO, there are some really good answers in this thread. I would definitely take them to heart.
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Old 12-30-2016, 12:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Being blocked is a very serious thing to do to a loved one.

Since there is still no contact,
I would consider this a sign to pack up mentally and move on.

One wouldn't want to be married to a one who would block them -- correct?

M-Bob
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Old 12-30-2016, 01:21 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Elizabeth...

Welcome to the Board. Sorry for what has brought you here. Going through this during the holidays is a very, very difficult thing.

I think what's important at this point is that you take a step back, give yourself some space, and learn what you can about addiction. If you've only been with him for 7 months, and most of has been while he's been using, then it's safe to say you don't know him. You only know what he's like when he's under the influence, and a person under the influence is not the same person that he is when he's not under the influence.

So...stop, deep breath, and start reading all you can here. Several of us have suggested attending an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting, and that's solid advice. What's important right now is educating yourself so that you can make the best decisions you can for you. And be mindful that what's best for you may not be what you want.

Keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.
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Old 12-30-2016, 03:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Elizabethvicen,

Welcome to the forum, you have found a great place loaded with experience, strength and hope.

Three others have already suggested it, so I cannot"second" the motion; I will "fourth" the motion that you find a Nar-anon meeting near you.

It is a wonderful idea that you and his mom have been planning to go -- it is time to quit planning and start moving.

If possible visit several meetings near you and attend at least 6 before you finalize your decision as to whether the program is right for you and which meeting to call your home group. Each home group will have a different personality and you will find one that fits eventually. A place that you will feel safe and surrounded by kindred spirits.

Visit nar-anon.org and click on "find a meeting". The map function is pretty much a disaster, I recommend the city list for locating your options.

Keep coming back,

Jim
thank you so much
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Old 12-30-2016, 03:34 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Being blocked is a very serious thing to do to a loved one.

Since there is still no contact,
I would consider this a sign to pack up mentally and move on.

One wouldn't want to be married to a one who would block them -- correct?

M-Bob
you're right, it just sucks so bad because he was always so amazing and i just never thought he would do this, i think thats why it hurts so bad because its not like him, but im more and more coming to the conclusion that i have to move on and it hurts so bad
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Old 12-30-2016, 03:38 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Elizabeth...

Welcome to the Board. Sorry for what has brought you here. Going through this during the holidays is a very, very difficult thing.

I think what's important at this point is that you take a step back, give yourself some space, and learn what you can about addiction. If you've only been with him for 7 months, and most of has been while he's been using, then it's safe to say you don't know him. You only know what he's like when he's under the influence, and a person under the influence is not the same person that he is when he's not under the influence.

So...stop, deep breath, and start reading all you can here. Several of us have suggested attending an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting, and that's solid advice. What's important right now is educating yourself so that you can make the best decisions you can for you. And be mindful that what's best for you may not be what you want.

Keep us posted, and again, Welcome to the Board.
thank you i really appreciate it, but technically he was sober throughout our relationship but there were two different occasions where he relapsed and then it took him back to rehab so i did know him sober and he was amazing, but i do see what you're saying totally, and i thank you again its just so difficult, its gonna take me some time to move on and come to terms with everything
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Old 12-30-2016, 05:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by elizabethvincen View Post

im more and more coming to the conclusion that i have to move on and it hurts so bad
I do understand for there is no other pain like it. Being an older guy, I have been there many, many times throughout my life.

On the good note.
I always found very good loving on down the road. So many times after breaking up with one and being so sad I find yet another one who I love even more.

I understand, it doesn't make you situation any easier to hear that.

Mountainman
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Old 12-30-2016, 05:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I do understand for there is no other pain like it. Being an older guy, I have been there many, many times throughout my life.

On the good note.
I always found very good loving on down the road. So many times after breaking up with one and being so sad I find yet another one who I love even more.

I understand, it doesn't make you situation any easier to hear that.

Mountainman
thank you, i really appreciate it
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Old 12-30-2016, 05:40 PM   #17 (permalink)
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So sorry for your pain, elizabeth, but IMO, there are some really good answers in this thread. I would definitely take them to heart.

thank you
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Old 12-31-2016, 04:56 AM   #18 (permalink)
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but technically he was sober throughout our relationship but there were two different occasions where he relapsed and then it took him back to rehab

you said the "relationship" lasted about 7 months. and in that time he had TWO trips to rehab.....the math alone says this is not a sustainable situation.

break ups hurt. but only for a while. actually learning to survive a break up without completely falling apart is a good skill to develop....life is going to throw a lot of things at us, and if we come undone each and every time, it's going to be a long dark road.
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Old 12-31-2016, 05:04 AM   #19 (permalink)
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You got some terrific advice here, Elizabeth.
What is your plan?
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Old 12-31-2016, 08:23 AM   #20 (permalink)
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You got some terrific advice here, Elizabeth.
What is your plan?
i know the majority of me and the part of me that is hurting so bad wants to wait for him and see if he says anything to me because i still am so very confused as to why he would do this, i dont want to assume its a definite break up because that hurts so bad enough just thinking that it might be, it reallys breaks me. i dont want to say goodbye but i might have to, idk where to start with moving on. i know nar-anon would help though so ill try that sometime, but im just really broken right now
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