Sephra

I have decided to give it one more chance with Husband.
I feel like not doing so is walking away from my family while its in crisis.
stepson has been away from the house since Wed. I believe he is using, as he has not been around since he got some money in his pocket. (he relapsed definitely and admitted it earlier in the week, the question is if he is Still using, and I believe so)
I think that with all the problems husband and I are having he is using it as a reason to give up and not care and use.
Not sure where it will all go, but I am giving it one more shot.

RDBplus3

My interpretive communication of what I have read in the Book that has brought the peace beyond understanding to many ...

"When you have done all you can do, then Stand."

Pray, Listen, Act (the full original version of the Serenity Prayer is helpful for me at this point) ... then, "When you have done all you can do, then Stand".

Repeat as often as necessary (sometimes a lifetime on a single issue, and we encounter multitudes of them)

While doing this, I pray for 'discernment'. And that 'discernment' is typically beyond my ability to know or achieve.

There truly is a 'Peace beyond Understanding". and I can't get there on my own, but when I can 'Stand" in that 'Peace" ... I am the most effective I can be, even when I know I am 'hopeless' to 'fix' whoever else is the focus of that struggle.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

Ariesagain

You and your husband are having problems because your stepson is an addict...if he is using the fact that you're having problems as the "reason" to use...

First, you know that's not a reason.

Second, this it a vicious cycle, yes?

Do you have access to some kind of counseling with an addiction professional for you and your husband?

Sending you a hug.

Sephra

I am going to a counselor who specializes in addiction.
Husband has come to a few meetings (first one was rough, second one was better)
We have an appointment monday and are planning on bringing stepson if he is around.

dandylion

sephra.....an addict uses because they are addicted...there is ALWAYS a reason.
You and your husband could be Ozzie and Harriet, and he would still be using....the same as if you were Mommy Dearest.....

LOL...it can be just as hard to leave when "the family is not in crisis" as it is when "the family is in a crisis".......
I'm just saying......

I hope that you will continue to put your focus on your o wn welfare as the most important thing....
I h ope you will continue to go to the counselor for your own benefit......
Don't short change yourself just because you are giving him another "chance".........

dandylion

oops! I just read your post...and, I see that you are still going to the counselor......

Maudcat

Good luck going forward, Sephra. Hugs

PuzzledHeart

Will be thinking of you and your husband. Hugs as well.

AnvilheadII

I feel like not doing so is walking away from my family while its in crisis.

don't think many people "walk away" when it's all sunshine and unicorns??

the SS is using because he is an addict.....there are no REASONS, just excuses. any "crisis" in the home right now is directly attributed to his using and his father trying to MANAGE it for him.

i suggest you reconsider dragging SS along to YOUR counseling sessions. it won't fix him, especially as he is still in active addiction. counseling is YOUR safe place to work on YOUR issues. he needs other types of help/intervention, but ONLY if and when HE is ready to face down the beast.

i wish you all well.