Kitkat255

I can't sleep . eat. I am home all the time . I had to leave the city when I left him and in the middle of nowhere in the country. Lost my job in oil and gas and all I do is think and cry. my coping skills are non existing . some of the posts are a little harsh and I am not well. don't think il EVERYTHING GET OVER IT. I'm not myself.

Kitkat255

I stuck so much out with him. This man is a professional pianist .knows give different languages is a personal trainer is so talented and beautiful to look at and I don't know .I deal with the fact that he never loved me. I was used and hé goes on with a whole new life. I had to change everything because of his selfishNess. its too much and I can't do it anymore. he is playing the piano I bought him in July for that new woman sitting on my furniture!!!! how is that fathomable???? move on ???? I wanted to spend my life with him!!!! I féel so weak and i can't deal with it anymore. I'm too hurt.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're so low KitKat. If it's overwhelming, I agree that going to the hospital is a good idea.

D

Seren

It does seem so unfathomable, and life has given you quite a kick in the gut!! Please do go to the ER if you feel you are in danger Your life has value, beauty and meaning...and can be good again..

Sounds like you need that real world support right now, and you deserve to receive it!!

Sending many hugs and prayers for healing your way!!

Kitkat255

I dont believe he ever loved me and I can't bear it anymore. He is telling everyone how happy he is and bought her a ring for Christmas. I can't do it anymore.

PhoenixJ

Yes you can do it Kitka- stay safe- go to the hospital, can you ask someone to drive you there- or catch a taxi? We are there with you. Keep posting. You are strong- I see that. Prayers- PJ.

Seren

Please do disconnect yourself from all social media contact with his life! And please do take yourself to the ER. You very much deserve a happy life and face-to-face support

Sephra

Also, don't believe that things are always so great on the other side. Social media has a way of painting an oh so rosy picture that often hides truth.
I am sorry for the hurt and rejection that you are feeling. I hope you are safe.

Kitkat255

Hé has no social media at all when I found out he has moved in with this new girl and son it's all I think about and it hurts me so bad knowing I was so quickly replaced. It makes me feel like a piece of cap and I treated him like gold. I can't bear it anymore as I loved him so much. He never loved me. He is playing the piano that I bought him and how can he do that knowing that was such a gift of love from me. I am know in the hospital. never in my life have I been so hurt. never. I want oit

dandylion

KitKat.....I get how heart-crushing this is for you......
And, I know the pain is very acute, right now.
My heart goes out to you....for, I know how bad it feels....

Just try to remember this one fact.....Just because another person does not value us the way we should we should be valued---does not, in any way, decrease our value.....

I am glad that you went to the hospital. That was exactly the right thing to do!!!
You need caring and support, right now....

Trust me....the sun WILL come out , again....You will laugh, again!!!!!!!!!!

AnvilheadII

i am glad you made the wise choice to take yourself to the hospital. you exercised good judgement and good self care.

JK130

YOU are worthy. You are strong and fully capable of reaching out for help when you need it. You CAN and WILL get through betrayal, because YOU are an important person. You are enough. You are a unique individual with talents, goodness and intelligence of your own.

Hechosedrugs

So sorry to hear about the pain you're experiencing. Good for you for seeking help. You will get through this.

Coldfusion

I am glad that you are in the hospital. This is a good time to take advantage of all the professional help you can get to learn about resources for support after you leave the hospital.

atalose

You are where you need to be right now. I wish you comfort and strength in seeking help for yourself.

hope778

Kitkat - very proud of you. This decision you have made to seek help was not easy and further proves how strong you are, even at your absolute weakest. I am wishing you well. Welcome the rest that is offered, and also welcome the resources they provide. Put them to good use.

PuzzledHeart

KitKat, this place is filled with hearts broken but mended. I'm one of them. When my ex-fiance broke up with me a month before our wedding I wanted to die. I would wake up every morning , and for a very brief moment I would be fine, but then I would remember that I lost him and the whole world went crashing down. I once cried for an hour because I was asleep and then the phone rang. Why did the phone ring and bring me back to reality? I was so utterly angry at that person for waking me up.

I do hope that you are at the hospital at this very moment. It is absolutely the best thing you can do. If not, can you go home? Do you have a friend who can spend a couple nights with you? One friend of mine actually stayed with me for three days - he slept on my floor (he's gay so nothing was ever going to happen in that department). We called it sitting shiva for my relationship. I was glad to give this mourning a name. During this period of time, my sister was sober and she made sure that I ate something. Somebody needed to keep track - I lost twenty pounds in two weeks.

You may think that you were the one humiliated but that's not the case at all. And I hope that soon, even in the midst of your shock and anger, you can begin to register the small moments of beauty and kindness, even if they come from the strangest messengers. My mother, who had extremely conservative morals, assured me through my sobs that I could use a turkey baster if I wanted a child. The fact that she would twist her own traditional morals in knots to make me feel better consoled me beyond measure. I even laughed as she said it. She had thrown me a life rope. These moments can be the key to your survival, so pay attention when you can.

You have been through a tremendous shock, so please take care of yourself. You've lost your love, your job, and you are far away from home. These three things, even separately, are overwhelming and I can't imagine what it's like to experience all three things at once. I will be thinking of you.

teatreeoil007

Oh sweetie, I'm hoping you are at the hospital now where others can take care of you....Just let them take care of you and cast all your cares upon God too. For He cares for you.

I know you feel like he never loved you and I really don't think that's the case. He did love you, I'll bet. He probably loved you a lot. But his addiction to crack took first place in his life and that's why you broke up with him. You were right to break up with him. You did the right thing, even though it was hard. You had to do it for your own safety and well being.

And the new woman: She is not first place in his life either. Crack still is. She is in store to be hurt just like you.

You can heal from this. These early days are soooo hard and overwhelming, so please hang there. We're here for you. Sending you a healing hug.

Kitkat255

thankyou everyone so much for the supportive messages. I don't feel so alone when I see these messages. I am here in the hospital and am trying to cope with my pain. I want u all to know I sometimes feel this is my lifeline. knowing I'm not the only person who has dealt with this pain of ex spouse who is an addict and has walked away from someone I was in love with. thanku all.

PuzzledHeart

You may feel alone, but believe me you are not.