So sick of this nightmare!!!
 

Since my fiances return from rehab things have been okay.... the first few weeks were lovely! However, slowly but surely it's all feeling a bit strange. We're back to the being gone all day.... coming home with droopy eyes, lying about going to meetings, new "friends" who I don't know. . The list goes on and on and none of it seems to add up to him working recovery. He's up all night again and has no tolerance for my questioning. Funny isn't it? We do everything for them, support them in rehab, meet with counselors, call off work to attend counseling sessions in a rehab an hour and a half away..... provide them with every cigarette and snack in rehab, thousands on a credit card for rehab and YET AMAZINGLY we can't even ask them a question or we are the worst people in the world. I can't even begin to explain to you how devastating the realization that the third... yes THIRD rehab has been for nothing. I'm just so sick of it! I remember feeling so sad and upset for him, begging god to help him see a way out of this! Not even for me, not even because I want to keep our life and go about being happy people... but because I don't want to see him in jail or dead. I'm to the point now that I just can't even stand the sight of him..... the lying right to my face, the dumb expression on his face when he's trying to bully me into believing he isn't using, or the hearing him up all night until 5am when I have to be up for work. It's all just becoming annoying more than anything!!! Up all night, sleep all day, disappearing from 2-12 with "friends" who have no names just doesn't seem like recovery to me! I'm just so over it and I'm feeling like there is just no way out of this for him. Hopefulness is gone,... I'm just defeated :dee

I am sorry, Nelly. Time to get out, maybe?

I am so sorry for the hurt. Its awful. Unfortunately you can't change what is going on with him. Only take care of yourself. Please try to do that.

and I'm feeling like there is just no way out of this for him

sure there is. he just isn't taking that train.

but there is also a way out for YOU. no one ever said you had to stick around and watch Groundhog's Day, the addict version, for the rest of your days. the only way to respond to his lies is to act IN TRUTH.
YOUR truth.

Nel- my heart goes out to you. I am that alcoholic. It took complete alienation, being disowned and NDE's X 4 for me to wake up and decide to join the universe. Frankly my family are better off with me (in that hellish way) in their lives. You need to think about yourself. I can almost guarantee your partner is not thinking about you- except as a way of getting a free ride on everything you offer. A free smorgasboard. Food, a place to sleep, money, transport and whatever else maybe? You need to think about yourself for your physical safety and emotional/spiritual well being.
My thoughts, prayers and support for you and prayers for you partner. Keep posting, PJ

Thanks for all of you input. I'm just exhausted already. I have done everything to try and help and it's just all for nothing. So sad ..... was with him way before drugs and I just have so much anger. One botched knee surgery all due to Iraq and flash forward that amazing hardworking war veteran college graduate is a heroin addict who just won't stop. It blows my mind and it hurts worse with each passing day that I realize there's no end in sight...... why? Why did this happen to my fiancé? My partner... my everything. Everyone I know is in normal healthy relationships full of nice dinners, no worrying, and certainly no drugs! Not to sound cliche but why me? I am with the worlds most amazing manD I used to thank god for him... now I thank god he made it through the day without overdosing

addiction doesn't care....it will take anyone and everyone, good, bad and in between. it's ruthless and brutal.

this is beyond your ability to fix. you have pointed him in the right direction, to treatment, to getting help. and time and again, he makes the decision to use again.....AFTER a period of clean time.

it sucks, baby, it really REALLY does. but YOU matter too! not just the addict and his problems.

I can't add to what has already been said, so I will just bring some hugs of support. :grouphug:

Sadly the reality is that addiction destroys so do much. At some point your survival needs to be thought about by you...because it will always be last on the list.
I'm my situation I too have tried everything to help. And still turned into the enemy.
I'm sorry you are in it. Keep talking it helps

Nelly- I just want you to know I relate to you so, so much. I could have written your post myself.