new & seeking advice: discovered bf is injecting suboxone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 2
new & seeking advice: discovered bf is injecting suboxone
hi there,
I'm new to the world of recovery and seeking some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He had been on oxy/heroin for 4 years, and went through a drug program at least 2 years prior to us getting together. He has now been on suboxone for about 6 years, and has done a good deal of growing in this time--graduated college, started a carpentry business, and we have built a (little) home and life together. A couple of months ago, I found a syringe in our bathroom. I gently confronted him with my finding, and was told that he sometimes injects his suboxone. And by sometimes, I mean off and on in times of stress for the duration of our relationship, and for 3 months straight prior to my discovery. It's tough to explain the hows and whys this particular behavior has manifested. Bottom line, the self-sabatoge that comes with drug abuse is not behind us. This behavior is a remnant of him not feeling good enough, loved enough, and he is still taking it out on himself. We cried together, discussed his needing further help and then got swept up in our busy lives. Re: we avoided talking about it, while I waited and waited for a recovery plan to be brought up by him while my resentment slowly grew when it didn't.
Now, months later, I have committed to continuing the discussion. He admits that addiction is still affecting him, his growth in life, and our relationship. Last night (mere days later), I found another stash of needles in the bathroom while cleaning it. Suspecting he was nervous I had found them, I searched his face when I left the bathroom. Intuition tells me the worry I saw on his face was related. I confronted him yet again, and he said those needles were from before, that he had forgotten they were there. I want to believe him (he is quite scatter brained), but the intuition strikes me just the same.
He has monthly Dr. apts for his suboxone, where drug tests are randomly administered, albeit few and far between (he has built up trust and report with the facility). Can I trust that he is simply injecting suboxone? It is a strange behavior, and surely an indication that further healing needs to take place.
I am in therapy, working on my own emotional development and now talking through my contribution to this relationship and how I can be supportive of him, myself, and our relationship. I know the change must come from him. I'm sure further boundaries need to be set. I want things to change, for him to prioritize his recovery. But I know it must come from him.
Seeking support, empathy, and advice on where to go from here.
I'm new to the world of recovery and seeking some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He had been on oxy/heroin for 4 years, and went through a drug program at least 2 years prior to us getting together. He has now been on suboxone for about 6 years, and has done a good deal of growing in this time--graduated college, started a carpentry business, and we have built a (little) home and life together. A couple of months ago, I found a syringe in our bathroom. I gently confronted him with my finding, and was told that he sometimes injects his suboxone. And by sometimes, I mean off and on in times of stress for the duration of our relationship, and for 3 months straight prior to my discovery. It's tough to explain the hows and whys this particular behavior has manifested. Bottom line, the self-sabatoge that comes with drug abuse is not behind us. This behavior is a remnant of him not feeling good enough, loved enough, and he is still taking it out on himself. We cried together, discussed his needing further help and then got swept up in our busy lives. Re: we avoided talking about it, while I waited and waited for a recovery plan to be brought up by him while my resentment slowly grew when it didn't.
Now, months later, I have committed to continuing the discussion. He admits that addiction is still affecting him, his growth in life, and our relationship. Last night (mere days later), I found another stash of needles in the bathroom while cleaning it. Suspecting he was nervous I had found them, I searched his face when I left the bathroom. Intuition tells me the worry I saw on his face was related. I confronted him yet again, and he said those needles were from before, that he had forgotten they were there. I want to believe him (he is quite scatter brained), but the intuition strikes me just the same.
He has monthly Dr. apts for his suboxone, where drug tests are randomly administered, albeit few and far between (he has built up trust and report with the facility). Can I trust that he is simply injecting suboxone? It is a strange behavior, and surely an indication that further healing needs to take place.
I am in therapy, working on my own emotional development and now talking through my contribution to this relationship and how I can be supportive of him, myself, and our relationship. I know the change must come from him. I'm sure further boundaries need to be set. I want things to change, for him to prioritize his recovery. But I know it must come from him.
Seeking support, empathy, and advice on where to go from here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
I'm sorry for what you're going through. Loving an addict is heart-wrenching. Just when we think we've slayed the beast of addiction it comes and rears its ugly head.
I'm glad you're getting help for yourself. It took me a long, long time to realize that's all I could really do. Kudos to you.
About your post-
You say your husband has been abusing suboxone for the duration of your relationship. Essentially, suboxone was his mistress. And he didn't come clean out of remorse or respect for you, he was caught. This suggests that he's okay with lying to you. So I would not put it past him to do it again. And it's very disheartening that he couldn't make amends to you by fulfilling your very basic requirement of TALKING about a recovery plan. If he won't even talk about it, why should you believe he's ready to actually go through with it?
More importantly, suboxone is not meant to be injected, so he's abusing drugs.
But I really doubt he's shooting suboxone.
Keep working your program. Don't get lost in his addiction.
Best wishes.
I'm glad you're getting help for yourself. It took me a long, long time to realize that's all I could really do. Kudos to you.
About your post-
You say your husband has been abusing suboxone for the duration of your relationship. Essentially, suboxone was his mistress. And he didn't come clean out of remorse or respect for you, he was caught. This suggests that he's okay with lying to you. So I would not put it past him to do it again. And it's very disheartening that he couldn't make amends to you by fulfilling your very basic requirement of TALKING about a recovery plan. If he won't even talk about it, why should you believe he's ready to actually go through with it?
More importantly, suboxone is not meant to be injected, so he's abusing drugs.
But I really doubt he's shooting suboxone.
Keep working your program. Don't get lost in his addiction.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: NORTHFIELD
Posts: 188
Well, it is certain that he is still in active addiction.
I guess, since he is using suboxone, he has the want to get clean and it is a hard road. It does not sound like it is under control. And I think that there is some lying going on , probably from shame. I don't buy that he forgot the needles were in there. Drugs make people scattered, but addicts rarely forget where the stash is.
* Can I trust that he is simply injecting suboxone?* I'm not sure what you are asking here... are you thinking it's heroin and not subs? or are you wondering if he can be injecting and it's not a problem?
I think in either case, unfortunately, it is a problem, either way, for a number of different reasons.
I know that your world is spinning and that you are probably scared and not sure of anything right now. It will be ok, in the end, keep reaching out and talking to people. You aren't in this alone.
I guess, since he is using suboxone, he has the want to get clean and it is a hard road. It does not sound like it is under control. And I think that there is some lying going on , probably from shame. I don't buy that he forgot the needles were in there. Drugs make people scattered, but addicts rarely forget where the stash is.
* Can I trust that he is simply injecting suboxone?* I'm not sure what you are asking here... are you thinking it's heroin and not subs? or are you wondering if he can be injecting and it's not a problem?
I think in either case, unfortunately, it is a problem, either way, for a number of different reasons.
I know that your world is spinning and that you are probably scared and not sure of anything right now. It will be ok, in the end, keep reaching out and talking to people. You aren't in this alone.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
