Not enough
 

So husband returned today. Very cold. He was assuming that ss was not allowed back. I said he was welcome here. Somehow it ended with him saying he wants out. Of our relationship. No matter what I do. It is enough . I guess I can't unhear something so loud and clear.

Sorry you are going through this pain - hugs to you. I can relate. Nothing to do at this point except to let him go and try not to react. It is not easy but gets better.

My R?XAH just visited with me and DS for Thanksgiving (he insisted to come over) and it ended with him eating all the food, being envious of my new furniture, and then somehow going into "I am so glad I am out of this relationship" rant. Then he drove away and then came back "to help with the Christmas tree". All without any calls or any response from me. You cannot make this up. One minute he screams I was the worst that ever happened to him, next minute he begs to reconcile. Then blaming me for his drinking and divorce (technically I am to blame for divorce since I filed it). The only choice for me is just to nod and say "yes sure" and make a note to "go out of town for holidays" next time.

Addicts in early recovery are crazier than active addicts IMO.

Sephra....I get the impression that communication between you and your husband has not exactly been Communication Central, for a wile...eh?

Sephra, I am so sorry. I understand that kind of pain very well. Your husband is not well, it doesn't sound like. He is so wound up in his son that it seems he doesn't even know where his own boundaries begin and end. That is sad, but it doesn't seem to be something anyone can do anything about but him--and he doesn't believe he has a problem, right?

When I was married the first time, my now ex-husband had an affair and filed for divorce. He seemed very cold and hard about the whole thing, too. It was very final and unequivocal. But I survived and even learned so very much through that whole time. I know that you will, too!

And I have to say: You are more than enough!!

Please take good care of yourself. Under the circumstances, I would also consult an attorney at your earliest possible convenience for your own protection. I hate that divorce seems so adversarial, but I hope you will believe that you deserve to have someone fighting for you!

I am sorry, Sephra.

Believe me this is temporary. The whole "he tested clean" is b*llshit and I think you know that. At this point your H is so beyond what to do he probably couldn't believe his ears when you said SS was welcome back. Your H knows darn well it will be rinse and repeat and cannot go through the guilt and shame of you being a spectator to his enabling. That's the way I read it.

I think it is entirely possible that the psychosis could have been from his past drug use. From what I read it can come and go up to 18 months after last use. Which was one reason I had said he was welcome back. Its scary but I knew it was a possibility. I was surprised and confused that the test came back clean after seeing him like that.
I am really sad that the whole thing is ending. But I can't be with someone who wants out of the relationship. Its just so sad.

Heartbreaking, in fact. I am so sorry!